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Kids flying cross-country alone

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  • Member since
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  • From: NW Washington
Kids flying cross-country alone
Posted by dirkpitt77 on Friday, April 29, 2016 1:42 PM

So, my wife and I have two kids--a 10yr old daughter and a 7yr-old son. I've been a stay-at-home dad with them almost all of their lives so far, while my wife works. They went to a normal preschool and elementary and still do. Wife is 39, I'm 44. This is all for context.

We've come into possession of a $400 airline credit that we need to use by June. My wife's mom who lives in AZ, and my wife's sister have offered to take our kids for a week in Tucson, if we fly them there and back. The goal being to allow my wife and I a week to ourselves. A de-stresser, of sorts.

The problem is, grandma has an eating disorder. She is 67 or so and an extreme vegan. She weighs less than 80lbs and eats very little. It's gotten so bad it's causing her other health problems, notably seizures and heart problems. She refuses to admit she has a problem and drove with a seizure disorder for 3 years. She only just this year finally got cleared by a doctor to drive, after being put on meds.

The sister (kids aunt) meanwhile, is constantly texting and driving. In 2012 while on vacation in Moab, I caught her texting and driving in Canyonlands National Park, on those twisty roads, while she had taken my daughter for the day. 

My wife and the two ladies above say it'll be a big adventure for the kids, and an opportunity for them to do some growing on their first long trip without parents around. The kids will be fine, they say. I, on the other hand, do not trust grandma or auntie to have good judgement, as obviously they've dropped the ball so far. It IS true that the kids usually do get to do a lot of cool things with grandma and auntie. In fact, my daughter hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and back a couple years ago. Granted, Auntie was there for that too and almost had to be carried out.

I've made my position clear, but they still talk as if it's going to happen. I feel like that week will be more stress on me than if the kids stayed here.

 

I guess I was just wondering if anyone else might have some wisdom or insight, and if I'm making the right call. Confused

 

Thanks,

 

Chris

    "Some say the alien didn't die in the crash.  It survived and drank whiskey and played poker with the locals 'til the Texas Rangers caught wind of it and shot it dead."

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  • From: providence ,r.i.
Posted by templar1099 on Friday, April 29, 2016 1:47 PM

IMHO, too many issues out of your direct control. When in doubt,don't.

"le plaisir delicieux et toujours nouveau d'une occupation inutile"

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Posted by GMorrison on Friday, April 29, 2016 1:54 PM

I've been through all of that, too.

 

IMHO they're too young, even without the potential problems listed.

 

I can guarantee that you and the Missus will not be "de-stressing" while they are gone.

 Modeling is an excuse to buy books.

 

  • Member since
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  • From: Willamette Valley, Oregon
Posted by goldhammer on Friday, April 29, 2016 2:02 PM

Sounds like a disaster in waiting with the aunt, and grandma has her own issues to work through. I'll agree with G, a little too young IMO, and that is even if the airlines would let them go un-accompanied in this day and age.

I was around 13-14 when I went from Reno to Chicago to visit with all of Mom's sisters and families for a month.  Was a great adventure, but was 3-4 years older than your oldest, and was 60 years ago in a different time

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  • From: From the Mit, but live in Mason, O high ho
Posted by hogfanfs on Friday, April 29, 2016 2:20 PM

I won't even leave my 10 yo and 7 yo at home alone, let alone put them on a commercial aircraft. I would say no, granted, I know my wife would agree with me.

 Bruce

 

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  • From: Western North Carolina
Posted by Tojo72 on Friday, April 29, 2016 2:32 PM

I don't have kids,but I wouldn't do it.

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Posted by GMorrison on Friday, April 29, 2016 2:41 PM

When I was 12 I spent the month of December in Norway with a friend of mine from school, also 12; at the family of a foreign student that my own friends family had hosted the year before. Back in the early 60's.

After a couple of weeks we got to fighting, young boys and all. So to separate us, the family bought me a five day ship ticket on a coastal steamer up to the Arctic Circle, to Trondheim, train return to Oslo. They owned the shipping line so I suspect they had someone keeping an eye on things.

I had a blast, shared a cabin with some of the hands, got to watch freight and mail be loaded/ unloaded several times a day.

When I was back home, I couldn't wait to tell my mom all about it while driving home from the airport. She nearly drove off the road.

 Modeling is an excuse to buy books.

 

  • Member since
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Posted by patrick206 on Friday, April 29, 2016 2:53 PM

Short and to the point response. How would you feel if the kids were entrusted to someone that you have legitimate concerns about, then something terrible happened???

Too often, completely unintentional accidents do happen to folks that are not being deliberatly careless, even worse, some people are just an accident looking for place to happen.

Health issues, texting and driving, anorexia seizures controlled by meds, what could possibly go wrong?

HELL NO!

Patrick 

  • Member since
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  • From: Barrie, Ontario
Posted by Cdn Colin on Friday, April 29, 2016 2:59 PM

That $400 credit could end up costing you a lot more than it's worth.  Do Grandma and Auntie know your concerns?  Do they care?  I don't think your issue has anything to do with concern over their flying alone.  Could anyone else you know use the credit?  Could it be donated to someone who needs a flight somewhere?

I build 1/48 scale WW2 fighters.

Have fun.

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  • From: Central Florida
Posted by plasticjunkie on Friday, April 29, 2016 3:06 PM

Take it from a retired police officer. With all the things I have seen, I would NEVER let my kids travel alone and unprotected. And as for the family care on the other side, too many issues to deal with. Better safe than sorry. 

 GIFMaker.org_jy_Ayj_O

 

 

Too many models to build, not enough time in a lifetime!!

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  • From: Willamette Valley, Oregon
Posted by goldhammer on Friday, April 29, 2016 4:16 PM

If you end up not doing it, and can transfer it, might check to see if any of the area "Honor Flight" groups can use it before it expires. 

 

They take  Vets back to DC to visit the memorials.  The caretakers that go with each one have to pay all their expenses out of pocket, but the Vet's flight and expenses area all taken care of.

  • Member since
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Posted by Cobra 427 on Friday, April 29, 2016 5:28 PM

Well, when in doubt - DO find out! I think that you already have, and that you have answered  your own question. If your mom is having siezures, and driving, that alone should tell you that this is simply a recipe for disaster! Even if she takes medicine it's no safe bet. Your Auntie is no better for the wear if she too is a risk, and no amount of money can bring back your loved ones no matter how much hindsight you experience in your life! Just know this: today is a much more hostile, agressive, and unwelcoming world than it was when we were all kids. Terrorism is on the rise, people are just so damned rude, and stupidly so, and the unknown is so well, UNKNOWN, and therefore untrustworthy!

What's more important; your kids, an unused $400.00 plane ticket, or a lifetime of "what if?"(regret) that could've been, or knowing that your kids are safe at home? What does this all mean? It means that if you're asking yourself about this, then you already know that the answer is a resounding NO! DON'T DO IT!!! Remember when Nike had that idiotic slogan "Just do it!"? You can now see what  a hell of a mess that happens when you "just do it!".  Which is why this world is in such a state of discontent, and torment, and unhappiness.

 

~ Cobra Chris

Maybe a picture of a squirrel playing a harmonica will make you feel better?

 

 

fox
  • Member since
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  • From: Narvon, Pa.
Posted by fox on Friday, April 29, 2016 8:06 PM

Too many concerns all the way around Chris.  I'd say no.

Jim

 Main WIP: 

   On the Bench: Artesania Latina  (aka) Artists in the Latrine 1/75 Bluenose II

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  • Member since
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  • From: Indiana, USA
Posted by Greg on Friday, April 29, 2016 8:40 PM

What everyone else said.

But you have an uphill battle with your boss, bosses mom and sister planning this thing.

Your only way out of this whilst keeping the peace might be to offer to go along with the kiddies. I'll bet that'd put a damper on the whole thing pretty fast, Chris. 2 cents

 

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Posted by BlackSheepTwoOneFour on Friday, April 29, 2016 10:20 PM

Well... the tribe has spoken. Don't do it. Too many red flags....

  • Member since
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  • From: MN
Posted by Nathan T on Friday, April 29, 2016 11:20 PM

Hell even I'm too scared to fly commercially and I'm a commercial pilot. I would never consider this senario for my 9 year old/6 year old...

 

 

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  • From: Vancouver, the "wet coast"
Posted by castelnuovo on Saturday, April 30, 2016 1:00 AM

I have flown alone in my early teens, and even younger, localy and internationaly...back in '70-es and before cell phones talking driveres. My parents would put me on the plane and my relatives or friends would pick me up.

Your relatives are a dissaster waiting to happen. I work in a hospital and see the crap that happenes with distracted drivers, cyclists who "knew how to asses the traffic" so they didn't wear helmet etc. Your kids are worthmore then the 400 bucks and their time away won't be at all relaxing for you knowing to whom you are sending them. Don't do it...

 

  • Member since
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  • From: East Bethel, MN
Posted by midnightprowler on Saturday, April 30, 2016 7:07 AM

Only if you want your children on the back of a milk carton. I can't believe in this day and age someone would even ask a question like this.

Hi, I am Lee, I am a plastiholic.

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  • From: New Braunfels , Texas
Posted by Tanker - Builder on Saturday, April 30, 2016 12:45 PM

Hi;

    Well , I used to travel alone by train between 10 and 14 . Never had a problem . Years later I figure I had an unseen chaperone. After all it was 1953 .I wouldn't send my Grandchildren two Blocks on a city bus , much less on planes where we don't know if the pilot broke alcohol and sleep rules and on the other end , Disaster ! . I would advise against it .  T.B. 

  • Member since
    January 2013
Posted by BlackSheepTwoOneFour on Sunday, May 1, 2016 11:21 AM

midnightprowler

Only if you want your children on the back of a milk carton. I can't believe in this day and age someone would even ask a question like this.

 

 

I couldn't agree more. You're a grown man, you should know better than to ask. Tell both of them your concerns and make them come down to see the kids themselves instead. Sounds like they're both nut cases who can't get their own life in order.

  • Member since
    September 2012
Posted by GMorrison on Sunday, May 1, 2016 11:24 AM

It's not the plane trip so much. There's a protocol for "unaccompanied minors". It takes a little pre-arranging, is all. So don't be afraid of that, in other circumstances it works fine.

 Modeling is an excuse to buy books.

 

  • Member since
    September 2012
Posted by GMorrison on Sunday, May 1, 2016 11:26 AM

castelnuovo

 and their time away won't be at all relaxing for you knowing to whom you are sending them.

Whistlingthat's the big problem. You know there's about a 90% or more chance everything will be fine, but then you've cost yourself a week of worry.

 Modeling is an excuse to buy books.

 

  • Member since
    August 2014
  • From: Willamette Valley, Oregon
Posted by goldhammer on Sunday, May 1, 2016 11:30 AM

While I agree with G on the plane trip per se, and I don't know the age limits for unacompanied air travel these days, it is what is on the other end that would scare the bejeebers out of me if I were the parent.

 

 

  • Member since
    January 2013
Posted by BlackSheepTwoOneFour on Sunday, May 1, 2016 4:14 PM

Not to mention that youngsters would know which gate to go to for the correct flight. I highly doubt they will let kids that young fly unaccompanied especially with such tight security these days. Any child under the age of 12 MUST have proof -i.e.: birth certificate by a parent flying with them.

In reality, I highly doubt they will be allowed to fly without an adult. So much has changed since 9/11.

  • Member since
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  • From: Indiana, USA
Posted by Greg on Sunday, May 1, 2016 4:56 PM

US domestic airlines have procedures (and fees) in place for situations like this.

Various rules and charges but typically $150/child/one way. You are most likely looking at $300 minimum, possibly $600 and also possibly not even available at all if a plane change from one airline to another would be required and/or various other restrictions depending on the carrier.

Some Googling might provide enough financial obstacles alone to nix this thing for you.

As mentioned several times above, kids flying alone is a whole different ballgame than it was decades ago.

Surprised none of our active ATP's have chimed in here.

  • Member since
    March 2013
Posted by patrick206 on Sunday, May 1, 2016 8:12 PM

Hi, Greg -

I'm a retired ATP, major carrier but not active, age 60 clipped my wings in 2001. Back then I could have contributed something positive to this, but the airline industry has changed so much now. In the day, 60's and 70's, we were well able to take good care of the youngsters flying alone, giving them the personal attention of counter agents, flight attendants and even we pilots were notified we had little ones on board. BTW, back then we didn't charge for it.

The employees at the destination were notified, (and had to acknowledge receipt of the info,) so that the kids were not on their own for even a second. Once at destination, the kids were only turned over to adults that were named, and they were properly I.D.'d.

The system worked extremely well then, other than some kids that realized, hey, Mom and Dad aren't here, then got a bit scared and weepy. Easily handled by a hug, a few gentle words and some .15 cent plastic pilot wings, soon enough they could settle in and feel OK. Do you think we'd even dare consider giving someones kid a hug today?????

By the time of my retirement so many things had changed, few for the better. Overcrowded terminal space, crimes increasing in the terminals, impersonal service standards, for a while when I would travel after retirement, it seemed to get worse with each year.

It reached the point for me, that I would rather just set aside the time to drive and skip the passes. Then TSA entered the scene. Most certainly not an added convenience for the passengers, although now required in this day and age.

I can visualize the scenario for unescorted children going through the screening process, what would an airline be expected to do, devote an employees time for an hour or more to personally escort the kids through TSA? Not at all likely.

My last flight, (and I hope it was,) last summer was to Honolulu. The trip was to place the ashes of a friend and his wife off Waikiki, from an outrigger, their final request. He was also an airline pilot, they had moved to Hawaii in '79, following his retirement.

The trip both ways was ghastly, a full 737, (two engines, 5:45 over water?) For over twenty years I was used to seeing four engines turning on the wings, twin engine ETOPS are not for me. If one gets shut down, (it does happen,) it's now an ASEL, (Airplane Single Engine Land.) No siree, not for me. 

So, two issues alive here.

First, in todays world I would NEVER allow children to travel alone, by air or other means. Stikpusher is absolutely correct, you don't even want to know what some criminals are capable of. They won't hesitate, not for a second, to do unimaginable harm to others. Some time ago a 28 year old man with Down Syndrome was horribly victimized, it all began in the airport terminal. He was traveling alone.

Second, the air travel industry of today is about getting the tickets sold, load the passengers, get to destination, get the passengers out. Repeat, ASAP.

At a personal level, currently I most certainly would not subject a child to the rigors and potential dangers of solo travel. Not today, not ever. The thought of children traveling unescorted today, brings out the most uncomfortable emotions in me. Guard your loved ones well.

Sorry for the rambling, but the thoughts just kept surfacing. Bet you're sorry you asked now, Greg. (:>)

Patrick

  

  • Member since
    May 2013
  • From: Indiana, USA
Posted by Greg on Sunday, May 1, 2016 9:29 PM

Not at all, Patrick, I'm so glad you did. (I'm sure Chris will be too when he checks in).

I remember vividly the days when the little solo travelers were very special VIP's, and I'm glad you brought that up. Seems like yesterday, doesn't it?

Pardon for going OT, but re your Hawaii trip, the second time my better half went to China and I tracked her flight, I darned near had a heart attack when they departed ORD virtually straight north. Within an hour I'd learned about the polar route to save some Jet A (that route was news to me at the time). I thought of this when you mentioned crossing the Pacific in a twin engine aircraft (which I also did within the past few months but not for as noble a reason as you).

 

  • Member since
    February 2007
  • From: Brunswick, Ohio
Posted by Buckeye on Monday, May 2, 2016 11:17 AM

My kids are grown now but if I were in your shoes I wouldn't let them go.  Way too many things could go south here. 

Mike

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  • From: Sonora Desert
Posted by stikpusher on Monday, May 2, 2016 1:42 PM

Finally I have a chance to chime in here. Trust your gut instinct. As a kid I travelled unaccompanied from CA to Mexico, but my dad worked for the airlines, and aside from customs I had family at both ends to hand off and receive me. But as said above, times have changed bigtime regarding airline travel. But the relatives that want to watch your kids sound way too irresponsable to watch your kids. They are a bad event waiting to happen. It will be bad enough if they wipe themselves out when it happens, but if they take out some innocent passenger or passerby- unforgivable.

 

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  • Member since
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  • From: NW Washington
Posted by dirkpitt77 on Monday, May 2, 2016 2:06 PM

Hi guys,

  Thanks to everyone who commented. When I posted I was already 99% of my OWN answer. The plane ride would be the least worrisome part of the whole deal. I just wanted to bounce it off other  folks to make sure I was thinking correctly. I do appreciate everyone's input very much, though. Buncha good heads around here. Yes

I let my wife know for sure Friday evening. It did not go over well. They think I'm overreacting. Such is life. They know where I stand.

Back to fondling some plastic. I've got the old Revell 1/32 AH-64 on a tv table on the couch going together to hang in my son's room. Nothing fancy, but keeps a body occupied.

Thanks again, guys. Beer

--Chris

    "Some say the alien didn't die in the crash.  It survived and drank whiskey and played poker with the locals 'til the Texas Rangers caught wind of it and shot it dead."

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