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Having fun in the colonoscopy room.

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  • Member since
    March 2015
  • From: Close to Chicago
Having fun in the colonoscopy room.
Posted by JohnnyK on Sunday, May 1, 2022 4:49 PM

I had a colonoscopy last Thursday and everything is just hunky-dory.

I had everyone in the proceedure room in stitches.

Me - "Hey doc, is this my final colonoscopy based upon may age."

Doc - "This is your fourth one. How old are you?"

Me - "I'll  be 73 in July."

Doc -"Maybe just one more."

Nurse - "73!!!! I thought you were 50!"

Doc -  "Did you say 50? You'll need at lest three more!"

Me to the nurse - "Thanks for nothing. You're fired."

Everyone in the room starts laughing.

Me - "Hey doc, you should be playing Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb"."

Doc -  "Why is that?"

Me - "The first verse goes like this, "Hello, hello, hello, is there anybody in there"?"

The entire room errupts in laughter. The anesthesiologist is laughing so hard that tears are running down her cheeks. 

Me - "Let's get this show on the road. Slip me the juice" I fall into a deep slumber as I watch the milky white liquid run down the IV . I felt nothing and I have no memory of the experience. Of course, the previous  "prep-day" was another story.

Your comments and questions are always welcome.

  • Member since
    April 2020
Posted by Eaglecash867 on Sunday, May 1, 2022 5:11 PM

LOL!  

The last one I had 2 years ago, I actually remember toward the end of the procedure, and the video monitor was right in front of me.  I came out of the anesthesia singing the Oompa Loompa song from Willy Wonka.  There was definitely laughter in the room as I became fully conscious again.  Heh...must have had something to do with the video image of the "tunnel".

OY!  Have another one coming up in about 4 months.  I'm with you on the prep day beforehand.  The day after is "fun" too when you finally get the release of all that gas they pump in there to open things up.  It was so loud, I was just sure my neighbors could hear it.  Good times.  

"You can have my illegal fireworks when you pry them from my cold, dead fingers...which are...over there somewhere."

  • Member since
    January 2020
  • From: Maryland
Posted by wpwar11 on Sunday, May 1, 2022 5:26 PM

I'm way overdue for my first one.  I'm 52.  My cousin just called me after his experience. The day before ritual was a disaster.  When I asked him what happened his dialouge went something like this:  "So I drank that devil concoction the day before.  It really cleans you out.  I felt a very unpleasant episode coming and ran to the master bathroom 15 feet away.  Paul, it needed to be 10 feet."

  • Member since
    September 2012
Posted by GMorrison on Sunday, May 1, 2022 6:05 PM

I'm lucky, I qualify for the "the poop is in the mail" routine.

That's funny Johnny. Nothing like a 73 year old rock star on the juice.

 

Bill

 Modeling is an excuse to buy books.

 

  • Member since
    October 2004
  • From: Orlando, Florida
Posted by ikar01 on Sunday, May 1, 2022 6:30 PM

Next time remember Young Frankenstein:

Oh sweet mystery of life I found you.

Oh at last I know the secret of it all!

  • Member since
    August 2021
Posted by lurch on Sunday, May 1, 2022 7:20 PM

When I had mine done it wasnt as funny as your was. But glad you had at least a littlefun with yours. It made me laugh some.

  • Member since
    June 2017
  • From: Winter Park, FL
Posted by fotofrank on Sunday, May 1, 2022 7:57 PM

At my last physical, my doctor informed me that I have "aged out" of the need for a colonoscopy. I'll be 76 end of June. What a relief.

OK. In the stash: Way too much to build in one lifetime...

  • Member since
    August 2021
Posted by goldhammer88 on Sunday, May 1, 2022 8:24 PM

GMorrison

I'm lucky, I qualify for the "the poop is in the mail" routine.

 

 

Bill

 

I hear that, just got the results back from mine.  Now they want a colonoscopy to determine if hemorrhoids, polyps, or maybe a bleeding ulcer.

Just turned 69, and with all the other health issues, doesn't make much difference what gets me first.  Besides, normal circumstances, I just barely make it, and that's 25' from the chair.

  • Member since
    December 2002
  • From: Fort Knox
Posted by Rob Gronovius on Sunday, May 1, 2022 8:43 PM

The Army gave me one while I was awake once upon a time. Yeah, it felt like an arm was twisting my guts as I watched it on the TV.

Had one within the last month or so, a much better affair when you're put under.

  • Member since
    March 2003
  • From: Western North Carolina
Posted by Tojo72 on Sunday, May 1, 2022 9:07 PM

Just as long as they don't play banjo music when you walk in.

  • Member since
    April 2020
Posted by Eaglecash867 on Monday, May 2, 2022 6:11 AM

"So I drank that devil concoction the day before.  It really cleans you out.  I felt a very unpleasant episode coming and ran to the master bathroom 15 feet away.  Paul, it needed to be 10 feet."

LOL, Paul!  When I do the prep part the day before, I drink the stuff, drink the bucket of water afterward, pull a chair into the bathroom to set my laptop on for Netflix, and then settle in...its gonna be a long night. Pirate

Lurch, there wasn't much humor in my first one either, but I already knew what the results were going to be...it was really just a formality to begin the process of determining staging (Stage 3 in my case).  I was 48 at the time, and I guess the previous 26 years of sitting above L-band antennas putting out about 200 watts of microwave radiation for hours at a time while doing transponder and altimeter certifications wasn't a good thing.  These days I turn the tester on and leave the area while its working and the FAA no longer allows us to do open-air testing above field elevation, so its a quick test and then we pull the breakers.  Don't want to go through all of that again, that's for sure.  This Thursday will mark 2 years of it being in remission.  

"You can have my illegal fireworks when you pry them from my cold, dead fingers...which are...over there somewhere."

  • Member since
    August 2021
Posted by lurch on Monday, May 2, 2022 8:46 AM

TOJO thanks I needed a good laugh.

  • Member since
    March 2003
  • From: Western North Carolina
Posted by Tojo72 on Monday, May 2, 2022 9:43 AM

  • Member since
    March 2015
  • From: Close to Chicago
Posted by JohnnyK on Monday, May 2, 2022 11:00 AM

Tojo72

That is absolutely hysterical. His description of "prep-day" was insane, but true!!!

Onto a more serious note, my brother-in-law refused to have a colonoscopy. "Nobody's going to stick a hose up my butt!"  He died at the age of 58 from colon cancer that had spread to his liver and lungs. His doctor said that the cancer probably started at least eight years previous and that if my brother-in-law had had a colonoscopy when he was 50 he would still be alive today. 

A colonoscopy can save your life. Don't put it off.

Your comments and questions are always welcome.

  • Member since
    February 2021
Posted by MJY65 on Monday, May 2, 2022 11:20 AM

GMorrison

I'm lucky, I qualify for the "the poop is in the mail" routine.

Bill

 

 
That's what I've been doing since 50.  
  • Member since
    July 2015
Posted by MR TOM SCHRY on Monday, May 2, 2022 1:48 PM

Johnny K I totally agree with you about the importance of having a colonoscopy done.  Had my first one done at the age of 50 and nothing showed up and then another one done at 60 last December and 11 polyps showed up.  Luckily no cancer showed up but it was a pretty tense week until the news came back.  Now I need to have it done every 5 years to stay on top of it. Everyone should have it done because it saves lives.

tjs

TJS

  • Member since
    August 2021
Posted by lurch on Monday, May 2, 2022 7:18 PM

I agree Tom it does save lives. Cancer is big in my family. I have it now. I want to see my grandkids graduate college an then hopefully when it is my time to go that they would understand what is happening. Mine showed up in a blood test not a colonoscopy but cancer is cancer. I had surgery to remove it but they couldnt remove it all. Not it will be monitatoured monthly . hopefulyy it doesnt progress . If it does then more drasstic measures will need to be taken. So I do strongly suggest you get tested it does save lives.

  • Member since
    July 2012
  • From: Douglas AZ
Posted by littletimmy on Monday, May 2, 2022 7:23 PM

I go in for my first one in July.

I'm 56.

The doctor says there's nothing in my blood work to indicate that I should be concerned, but I'm doing it anyway.

I felt there was no point in " poop-in-the-box" because ...

One: there could be a false negative.

Two: If it was positive, I would have to do the procedure  anyway , so I figured "the box" would just be an added expense. 

( plus, ... what if the porch pirate's get their hands on the box ... " SUPRISE !!! )

 Dont worry about the thumbprint, paint it Rust , and call it "Battle Damage"

  • Member since
    April 2003
  • From: USA
Posted by keavdog on Monday, May 2, 2022 8:07 PM

Had my first around 50 and they removed a couple benign polyps and set me on the 3 year plan.  Second showed all clear so I'm on the 5 year plan.  My dr that administers the procedure is a not unattractive woman. I told my wife "some people would pay for this" Stick out tongue

Thanks,

John

  • Member since
    January 2003
  • From: West of the rock and east of the hard place!
Posted by murph on Monday, May 2, 2022 8:45 PM

keavdog

Had my first around 50 and they removed a couple benign polyps and set me on the 3 year plan.  Second showed all clear so I'm on the 5 year plan.

 

I'm in a very similar situation.  Had my first bum-o-scope at 53.  The doctor removed three pre-cancerous polyps and I had a follow up scope three years later.  All clear.  Due for my next one next year.

 

A very close friend of almost 40 years had a scope back in the fall and cancer was discovered in the large intestine.  Further examination revealed lesions on the kidney and liver.  All lesions and six inches of intestine were removed.  He's 57 and said he had no symptoms whatsoever.  His prognosis is very good.

 

To the nay-sayers, get it done.  It might save your life.

 

I hope this hyperlink works.  If it doesn't go to YouTube and search for Billy Connolly - colonoscopy.  I peed my pants watching it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvrzUngEQRw

Retired and living the dream!

  • Member since
    April 2020
Posted by Eaglecash867 on Tuesday, May 3, 2022 6:20 AM

lurch

I agree Tom it does save lives. Cancer is big in my family. I have it now. I want to see my grandkids graduate college an then hopefully when it is my time to go that they would understand what is happening. Mine showed up in a blood test not a colonoscopy but cancer is cancer. I had surgery to remove it but they couldnt remove it all. Not it will be monitatoured monthly . hopefulyy it doesnt progress . If it does then more drasstic measures will need to be taken. So I do strongly suggest you get tested it does save lives.

 
Lurch, did they not talk about the possibility of radiation or chemo to get the rest?  Might want to get a second opinion.  Mine was actually too large to remove right away, so I did 2 months of daily radiation and pill chemo before the removal surgery to shrink it, and another 3 months of both pill and IV chemo afterward.  Overall, it was almost a year of awfulness (6 different surgeries involved in the process), but it was worth it.  My last two CT scans and last colonoscopy were all clear.  Don't want to second-guess anybody or anything, but you might want to get a second opinion on treatment options.

"You can have my illegal fireworks when you pry them from my cold, dead fingers...which are...over there somewhere."

  • Member since
    October 2019
  • From: New Braunfels, Texas
Posted by Tanker-Builder on Tuesday, May 3, 2022 8:54 AM

Oho! 

      Guess what ? I have aged out, BUT, if the Doctor says get it I will. Why? well, being an adopted child I have had health issues my Parents( God Bless those two!) Didn't have. They had the usual, Ulcers, Liver etc. Me, all mine so far have been Cardiac and Fixable! Thank God.

     My grandmother( Great Grand) Had Cancer, and made me promise never to tell the family till she was gone! Thank God for Roswell Park memorial cancer center in Buffalo N/Y. I had her for twelve more years. It started as a simple Melanoma under her eye.She told Mom and Dad it was a mole! They passed before she did.

      I kept my promise, she passed quietly after it had Metastasized into the forpart of her brain from the Eye Socket. I got emergency leave because she was the legal " Next of Kin" for me. That's when I told the family. Haven't had contact with anyone since. That was fifty five years ago! So if you need a Colonoscopy or a Biopsy, Get It!

    

  • Member since
    December 2002
  • From: Fort Knox
Posted by Rob Gronovius on Tuesday, May 3, 2022 9:45 AM

I don't recall the prep I went through in 1998, but when I had it this year, you get a couple of bottles of the nasty tasting prep and a large quart sized cup to top off with water.

I took a half day off from work the night before. I had contemplated drinking the first bottle at work and driving the 50 minute commute home, but I decided against that course of action.

When I got home, I prepared the drink in the kitchen and took a giant swig. I was talking with my wife and kids who were home, and within a few moments, I felt the need to pass gas. Nope, that wasn't gas!

I hadn't eaten anything but a bowl of instant ramen noodles at noon. Here it was at 8 o'clock and it was like my body was a fire hose.

I forced myself to finish the first "big gulp" of the mixture. After my stomach was empty, it passed the liquid instantly.

The next morning I was supposed to repeat the same drink. I only got about half of it down before it had cleaned me out again. It was amazing how fast the liquid you drinks comes straight out the other end.

  • Member since
    September 2012
Posted by GMorrison on Tuesday, May 3, 2022 11:29 AM

I am so glad that I don't have to do that, but may some day.

Rob, how is your wife? I really hope she's getting back to her old self.

 

Bill

 Modeling is an excuse to buy books.

 

  • Member since
    July 2003
  • From: Building models on my kitchen counter top~somewhere in North Carolina
Posted by disastermaster on Tuesday, May 3, 2022 1:48 PM

littletimmy

( plus, ... what if the porch pirate's get their hands on the box ... " SURPRISE !!! )

 

 
That would be far far better than a glitter bomb......

On the kitchen counter top in North Carolina

  • Member since
    March 2015
  • From: Close to Chicago
Posted by JohnnyK on Tuesday, May 3, 2022 2:29 PM

Here is a photo of the "cleaning fluid" that I drank. The baseball gives a sense of scale. The container holds a gallon of fluid. I drank 1/2 gallon (8 oz. at a time) at 4:00 in the afternoon on the day before the proceedure. The second dose was consumed at 6:00 in the morning on the day of the procedure. I placed the "cleaning fluid" in the fridge to get it nice and cold. I also mixed some lemon flavored Crystal Light into the fluid. I drank the stuff through a straw placed well back in my mouth. After finishing drinking the stuff I sucked on a lime wedge. The lime removed the nasty taste of the "cleaning fluid" from my mouth. 

Your comments and questions are always welcome.

  • Member since
    March 2003
  • From: Western North Carolina
Posted by Tojo72 on Tuesday, May 3, 2022 2:45 PM

JohnnyK

Here is a photo of the "cleaning fluid" that I drank. The baseball gives a sense of scale. The container holds a gallon of fluid. I drank 1/2 gallon (8 oz. at a time) at 4:00 in the afternoon on the day before the proceedure. The second dose was consumed at 6:00 in the morning on the day of the procedure. I placed the "cleaning fluid" in the fridge to get it nice and cold. I also mixed some lemon flavored Crystal Light into the fluid. I drank the stuff through a straw placed well back in my mouth. After finishing drinking the stuff I sucked on a lime wedge. The lime removed the nasty taste of the "cleaning fluid" from my mouth. 

 

I used lime ice pops to kill the taste,but the crystal lite really made it tolerable compared to 1st two times I got it.

  • Member since
    August 2021
Posted by lurch on Tuesday, May 3, 2022 5:25 PM

Eagle I had prostate cancer. They removed the prostate but found that it had spread to my ureathra and bladder. If they removed the cancer from there I would have had a cathetor for the rest of my life and that I would not be able to work and very strong restricktions again for the rest of my life. We are going to moniter it very closley and see what happens. They may need to dothat if it progresses but if doesnt progress then I dont have to do anything and live life normally. Its a waiting game at the moment. I just started back to work and working on getting things done around here now. So now I am praying for the best and waiting to see what happens.Had colonoscopy done and they took out polops that was cancer but all is good there for now.

  • Member since
    July 2015
Posted by MR TOM SCHRY on Tuesday, May 3, 2022 5:38 PM

Wish you the best and we'll keep you in our thoughts & prayers.  Keep the faith!

tjs

TJS

  • Member since
    August 2021
Posted by lurch on Tuesday, May 3, 2022 5:58 PM

Thanks Mr. Tom I appreciate that. I have to keep the faith cause I have 5 grandkids that I want to be with as they grow up.They mean the world to me.

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