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How to make your cardiologist laugh in hospital!

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  • Member since
    November 2004
How to make your cardiologist laugh in hospital!
Posted by snapdragonxxx on Saturday, December 11, 2021 6:02 AM

I have just spent a couple of days on the heart ward in my local hospital after my dicky ticker decided to throw a wobbler, scare the living daylights out of me and my sister a couple of paramedics and my friends.

After my dads passing and his funeral on the 3rd December I decided to make a full Sunday lunch and invite sister and friends (who are practically family) as a more private send off when we could remember dad and have a good laugh at what he used to get up to (he always loved to have fun).

Well the lunch of Roat Beef, Yorkshire Pudding and all the trimmings went well and everybody was laughing and having fun remembering what dad or, for the Polish extended family contingent, "Opa" or "My English Grandpa" would get up to, especialy late at night and we were all making a little too much noise!

Well... aparantly I went still, drip white, clutched my chest and everything went not well! I hadn't had pain like that for a long time and not even my glycerin spray helped so it was blue lights and a hospital for a couple of days.

As it turned out, after X-rays, CT scan, other scans, tests, ultrasound thingies poked, prodded and a nasty incident in the ward shower which I will never get out of my head the "Man in the Know" had the results.

It seems that because my dicky ticker has been stable for so long under the medication regime (I stick to it like a religion) the cause must be the stress caused my dads passing and having to deal with the aftermath. We were very much aware that despite dad's insistance he was not well but being the no fuss or nonsense Yorkshireman he was wouldn't tell us things were not going as planned and constantly ignored doctors orders. I think he had had enough and wanted to go and join my mum.

I then decided to push some buttons. My sister has always said that I have no filters fitted and remarked that maybe it was the wild frantic constant sex that caused it.

The consultant, who knows me quite well having treated me for just over 10 years now and is the best in the country stared at me and then cracked up laughing. His retort of sex is good exersise, however I would cut out the wild and frantic stuff and go for long distance performance.

Marathon stuff then, doc?

No more activity from the other side.

Knew I was getting something wrong!

Well, the upshot is that I am back home with orders (which must be obayed at all times) to cut down somehow on the stress and to spend more time at the bench as this seems to help.

My humour seemed to be welcomed by the ward staff as they don't get much of it and to get a patient who uses this as a way of dealing with not being well is like a breath of fresh air!

Remember folks. Laughter is truly the best medicine for all!

 

 

James

  • Member since
    May 2020
  • From: North East of England
Posted by Hutch6390 on Saturday, December 11, 2021 6:56 AM

It sounds like you're having a pretty awful month, mate - I admire your ability to keep smiling!  Stay well, I hope things improve for you.

Vell, Zaphod's just zis guy, you know?

   

TakkaTakkaTakkaTakkaTakkaTakka

 

  • Member since
    February 2003
  • From: East Bethel, MN
Posted by midnightprowler on Saturday, December 11, 2021 8:01 AM

Had a heart attack myself in 2017, and have had a total of 9 stents placed since then. You have my prayers brother.

Hi, I am Lee, I am a plastiholic.

Co. A, 682 Engineers, Ltchfield, MN, 1980-1986

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 1 Corinthians 15:51-54

Ask me about Speedway Decals

GAF
  • Member since
    June 2012
  • From: Anniston, AL
Posted by GAF on Saturday, December 11, 2021 8:16 AM

Two months ago I went into the hospital for chest pains.  They put two stints in my coronary artery and let me go after a couple of days.  Then, just a couple of days later, I was suffering the same symptoms again.  At the emergency room, as I was lying on the table, one of the staff commented, "Weren't you in here a couple of days ago?"

I commented,"Yes, I liked the place so much, I came back for a second visit."

(The two stints they had placed had clogged up and they had to put in two more.)

Stay healthy and keep your sense of humour!

Gary

  • Member since
    April 2020
Posted by Eaglecash867 on Saturday, December 11, 2021 8:46 AM

I started going bald when I was 17 years old, and by the time I was 20, hair was pretty much a lost cause.  Not a big deal back then though, since I joined the Air Force when I was 17...wouldn't be needing it.  A couple of years ago, when I was diagnosed with cancer, my doctor told me I was going to have to do 6 months of chemotherapy.  When he told me that I said, "Chemo?!  Oh my god!  Is it going to make me lose all my hair?!"

Yup.  Keep a sense of humor about it.  Nothing else helps really...but that does.Clown

"You can have my illegal fireworks when you pry them from my cold, dead fingers...which are...over there somewhere."

  • Member since
    August 2021
Posted by goldhammer88 on Saturday, December 11, 2021 11:24 AM

Snap, what you trying to do, play copycat?  10 days after my lady passed in July, my pacemaker/defibulator shocked me 5 times in 3 hours, 2 at home and 3 in emergency room.  Got me stabilized and loaded me on a plane for a 500 mile trip to the nearest cardio ICU that was accepting patients.  4 days later, the bosses wife made the 1000 mile round trip to bring me back.

They completely revamped my meds, and so far doing okay.  Back in 2010, when they put in 3 stents, they put my EF at 25%.

When you get shocked, it's just like on TV when they hit someone with the paddles.  Locks you up completely, and will pick you up about 3" off a bed.  One of the nurses had never seen one go off, And she went about a foot straight up.  My buddies wife was in ER with me, and I think it took her 10 minutes to pick her jaw off the floor and reposition, and about the same to get rid of the bug eyed look.

Anyway, glad you made it through and recovering.

  • Member since
    August 2021
Posted by goldhammer88 on Saturday, December 11, 2021 11:29 AM

GAF.... isn't it fun not moving the leg for about 6 hours so you don't tear open the artery they went through to place the stents?

First couple hours not bad, but keeps getting harder the longer it goes.

GAF
  • Member since
    June 2012
  • From: Anniston, AL
Posted by GAF on Saturday, December 11, 2021 12:09 PM

Goldhammer> Well, not really.  After enough morphine I was pretty out of it.  Moving my leg was difficult at best!  What was the kicker was, since I'm diabetic, the nurses coming in and jabbing me in the finger every two hours or so, in addition to their normal rounds.  I hardly got to sleep!  By the time I got released, I was exhausted!

 

  • Member since
    August 2021
Posted by goldhammer88 on Saturday, December 11, 2021 12:40 PM

I know that feeling, every couple hours for vitals, every 6 the vampires show up to draw more blood.

But it was fun and interesting to watch in the big screen when they were poking at a blockage with a wire, and watching the result swirl, like a muddy stream mixing with a clear one.

  • Member since
    July 2008
  • From: Vancouver, the "wet coast"
Posted by castelnuovo on Saturday, December 11, 2021 1:38 PM

Good to hear you are well. I would love to have patients like you. Smile

  • Member since
    November 2004
Posted by snapdragonxxx on Saturday, December 11, 2021 3:01 PM

Well... it has been a bit of a strange past 6 months on the health front. A kidney stone landed me in A&E and after sitting with a bag of fluid dripping into my arm for hours I kicked up a fuss as the original pain meds the Ambulance guys gave me wore off. Then everything started to move as my Parade Ground Bellow made all of A&E aware that the guy who was sitting quietly with a fluid bag on a stand was no longer quiet and wasn't doing well.

I was given pain meds pretty quickly and a nurse took me to a cubicle. A Doctor wanted a sample in a cardboard "bottle" to which the conversation took a turn which made him laugh....

You want a sample? From here into there? Bit of a reach Doc. It is probably the lack of pressure available but I will try.

Nope... a toilet was pointed out but with the fluid stand I could not get through the door and eventually went into the disabled toilet which was wider and I found plenty of space and handholds.

Things in there didn't go well and I ended up knocking the carboard bottle with sample inside int a sink while trying to move around with fluid stand and pulling up the pants. I was able to salvage the little that was left in cardboard recepticle.

I was making a lot of noise and swearing in more than one language and someone outside asked if I was alright. My response of "Just tipped the sample down the bloody sink. If it goes really quiet then I do need help! "

On return to the cubicle The doctor was waiting. I handed the megre contents with the words:

"Accident with a sink, Doc. Sorry!"

He took it away and when he was down the far end of the corrider I yelled out:

"Even I know that's not the right colour for a pee and if it comes back showing I am pregnant you and me are having words!"

This reduced everyone to helpless laughter!

You can hire me to liven up any place with non-politically correct humour and selective rudeness at cheap rates plus travel and accomodation!

  • Member since
    August 2021
Posted by goldhammer88 on Saturday, December 11, 2021 3:12 PM

castelnuovo

Good to hear you are well. I would love to have patients like you. Smile

 

Probably get a chuckle out of this.  When in ICU in Boise, nurse came in about 0300 to do vitals.  Since I was wired up to monitors, couldn't get to the restroom.  Was making use of urinal jug.  She saw what was going on, turned away and said I'll give you some privacy.  I think she was a little embarrassed thinking she had embarrassed me.

Told her not to worry about it, as a nurse, you've seen it all. And what I've been through the past 11 years, it doesn't bother me.  Besides, as dad always said " if haven't seen before, don't know what it is, and if have, can look on in awe".  Then told her she could drop the last letter of last word.

Took her a minute to process, then she cracked up laughing.  Whenever she had me, we got along great.

 

 

  • Member since
    October 2004
  • From: Orlando, Florida
Posted by ikar01 on Saturday, December 11, 2021 4:10 PM

I got my V.A. doctor a couple times.  Once I told her that because of my hands going numb I had to give up my explosives hoby and asked her if she realized how much I pur inro it and what am I to do with all the stuff I have left.  She justlooked at me for a couple seconds before it dawbed on her tht I was kidding.

Another time she had just finished checking me out abd was seareing to sit down when in the style of one of the medical commercials I asked her if my heart was healthy enough for sex.  She just froze for a few seconds and then finished sitting.

fox
  • Member since
    January 2007
  • From: Narvon, Pa.
Posted by fox on Saturday, December 11, 2021 7:32 PM

When I was in for the triple bypass, They tried Morphine, Codiene and Demerol for the pain. Well I was alergic to all three. One of them, I can't remember which, had me seeing the paint on the wall melt and bugs crawling in the light fixtures. When I got back to work and told them about my experiences, one of them said "Hey guys, Jim had his first trip man". Everyone busted up laughing except me. I didn't think it was funny at the time.

I also got tired of having the nurse wake me up in the middle of the night with "It's time to take your sleeping pill".

Jim Captain

Stay Safe.

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  • Member since
    July 2008
  • From: Vancouver, the "wet coast"
Posted by castelnuovo on Sunday, December 12, 2021 11:14 PM

goldhammer88

 

 
castelnuovo

Good to hear you are well. I would love to have patients like you. Smile

 

 

 

Probably get a chuckle out of this.  When in ICU in Boise, nurse came in about 0300 to do vitals.  Since I was wired up to monitors, couldn't get to the restroom.  Was making use of urinal jug.  She saw what was going on, turned away and said I'll give you some privacy.  I think she was a little embarrassed thinking she had embarrassed me.

Told her not to worry about it, as a nurse, you've seen it all. And what I've been through the past 11 years, it doesn't bother me.  Besides, as dad always said " if haven't seen before, don't know what it is, and if have, can look on in awe".  Then told her she could drop the last letter of last word.

Took her a minute to process, then she cracked up laughing.  Whenever she had me, we got along great.

 

 

 

 

LOL, stories aplenty Smile

  • Member since
    August 2021
Posted by goldhammer88 on Monday, December 13, 2021 11:29 AM

My wife was in the health care field for over 30 years.  I know the daily load the staff has in normal times, let alone in these days of covid and burnout.  Figured that whatever I can do to lighten the day........ besides, when I don't feel good, I just don't want to be hovered over.  Just let me be.

For all the healthcare folks and first responders, know you are damn well appreciated.  It's amazing to me that you haven't thrown up your hands and found something else to do.

  • Member since
    August 2021
Posted by lurch on Saturday, December 18, 2021 7:52 PM

Those stories got me laughing like crazy. Thanks I realy needed that. I have been just diagnosed with prostate cancer. I hope I get great healthcare workers like you guys did. You are correct the people that work in hospitals dont get enough recognition that they should. I know because I am married to a registered nurse. I suppose I am lucky enough to have my own personal nurse. haha winkwink.

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