Respect and Decorum;;

Way back when Yahoo Groups were all the rage there were many scale model building groups. The owner of one of the more successful and most active groups for truck builders at the time lived by the old adage "If you can't say something nice don't say anything". Some times I think that mantra has been long forgotten, instead it's now known as "constructive criticism". The way I see it, something gets lost in the translation and constructive criticism becomes destructive critique. It's not about only wanting compliments and pats on the back, it's about being civil with each other. If you can't say something nice maybe just move on to the next post. There is however one thing here I don't understand, why did it take TB over 3 months to respond to Mike's reply?

Justinryan215

The problem herein lies with those that post that feedback/critique/critisism welcome, but really only want to hear the 'atta boys disguised as critique.

I've found that to be the case on all of the internet forums of various subject matter, that I've participated on over the years.

It seems to be a strangely touchy matter with lots of variables. I gave up on it long before I joined here, and I'll only do it if I feel really comfortable with the OP.

Just my on a lazy, hazy, delightfully hot summer day.

Internet forums and written communication in general both leave a lot to interpretation, and different people get different things out of their modeling experience.  I just read a little more of one of the exchanges and all I can say is that when someone clearly isn't receptive to your input or how you like to do things, its really best to stop pushing at them.  It doesn't matter what your intentions are, sometimes we just don't see eye-to-eye on things and we should just agree to disagree and move on.  Sometimes there's a good reason for it, and sometimes one person just decides they don't like another person and that is that.  Just accept that and move on.

On the subject of decorum, in my opinion, it isn't a good idea to ask for public commentary on a personal issue between ourselves and other members, while mentioning that other member by name.  Those kinds of things, if they are important enough to you, should be handled in private.  Also on the subject of decorum, its also not good form to go back to someone you had a disagreement with in a thread more than 3 months after the disagreement, just to tell them how they should have responded to you there because you're angry about a more recent disagreement with them in another thread.

As for me, I'm defnitely not much of a rivet counter, but I do have little quirky things on military aircraft that I obsess about (mainly cockpits and ejection seats).  If I see something that is out of place, I'll mention it, but I'm not going to run it into the ground.  

I think your post on that thread in Auto Section was fine

I think that this is a very well behaved forum. I post messages to a music forum that is just wild! People get flamed and slamed all the time. Sometimes it is just mean and not in good fun.

stikpusher

Long story short, if you post a build WIP, expect critical feedback. Otherwise why post it? We may or may not be well versed with our build subjects. If all we are looking for is "oohs, ash's, and attaboys...." well, perhaps we should not be posting our work in progress builds. Save it until it's done.

And if you choose to go down the WIP path and constructive criticism is received, and it is delivered in a helpful manner, take the time to acknowledge and say thanks but no thanks, or thanks, I'll address it if I still can, or hey, I did this or did not do this because... 

quite frankly this site has deteriorated from what it was because such practices are not observed so much...

 

 

The problem herein lies with those that post that feedback/critique/critisism welcome, but really only want to hear the 'atta boys disguised as critique.

I was recently defriended and blocked by a guy (and his family) who I spent several years helping as he was down on his luck.  There was a message back around new years I sent to him in regards to things his mother was posting that was really angering our large friend group, and he took offense (even though, as a friend, I went to him, hat in hand and very non accusatory-merely just explaining the situation...)

He recently created a facebook modeling page-actually within a week of my own creation of a page-and whenever he posts (and shares to all 80 groups he shares in) he asks for feedback.  IEvery time i give feedback, I try to do it in the most laid back way, yet he jumps all over me about "having to explain himself to me and I'm the only one, etc".  It ultimately let to a harsher critique of his work and his reasoning behind what he does and he blocked me (so heart broken).

 

Moral of the story is even if they state they want feedback, they may not ACTUALLY want it....lol

wpwar11

Speaking of posting WIP hows the Harrier coming?  Haven't seen pics in a while. Hope you are well Stik.  Enjoy the weekend.

WP, the Harrier is temporarily sideline while I work on wrapping up my M47 build. That one is so close to the finish line... Then I'll get back on the Harrier. I just haven't had much urge to sit at my bench lately.

Hope that you and all here have a good 4th of July Holiday weeeknd.

And to Greg, Eagle, and the others, I agree about the repeat habits of those who post and then don't acknowledge replies.

Greg

Sometimes I go brain dead and do it myself.

Yup.  Same here.  I guess I figure someone else might get something out of my participation when I know that the OP probably won't even read it.

Eaglecash867

All of us take time out of our day to answer questions and even help with research. A little bit of acknowledgment and back and forth would be a nice thing. I've seen too many posts lately that seem to think we're all some kind of software-driven algorithm, instead of human beings. A question is asked, and then the members trying to help are basically just left talking to each other and the OP is either never heard from again...and/or they start another thread, asking another question.

I couln't agree more.

What really gets me is some of these post-and-runners have been here for ages, and folks just keep feeding their neuroses with compliments.

Sometimes I go brain dead and do it myself.

 

stikpusher

And if you choose to go down the WIP path and constructive criticism is received, and it is delivered in a helpful manner, take the time to acknowledge and say thanks but no thanks, or thanks, I'll address it if I still can, or hey, I did this or did not do this because... 

I think the same could be said of threads where the OP asks for input and suggestions about how to approach a particular modeling subject or technique.  We're all a bunch of regular guys who want to help others by sharing the things we have learned.  All of us take time out of our day to answer questions and even help with research.  A little bit of acknowledgment and back and forth would be a nice thing.  I've seen too many posts lately that seem to think we're all some kind of software-driven algorithm, instead of human beings.  A question is asked, and then the members trying to help are basically just left talking to each other and the OP is either never heard from again...and/or they start another thread, asking another question.  Its nice to get some feedback as to whether or not our advice is helping or even if its making things worse every once in a while.

OK...there's my griping.  

My 2¢, he seemed to take serious offense at an innocent question/comment.

I love it!

stikpusher

Long story short, if you post a build WIP, expect critical feedback. Otherwise why post it? We may or may not be well versed with our build subjects. If all we are looking for is "oohs, ash's, and attaboys...." well, perhaps we should not be posting our work in progress builds. Save it until it's done.

And if you choose to go down the WIP path and constructive criticism is received, and it is delivered in a helpful manner, take the time to acknowledge and say thanks but no thanks, or thanks, I'll address it if I still can, or hey, I did this or did not do this because... 

quite frankly this site has deteriorated from what it was because such practices are not observed so much...

 

Speaking of posting WIP hows the Harrier coming?  Haven't seen pics in a while.

Hope you are well Stik.  Enjoy the weekend.

keavdog

Cheers brother!

 

Cheers!  Have a fun and safe holiday weekend.

Long story short, if you post a build WIP, expect critical feedback. Otherwise why post it? We may or may not be well versed with our build subjects. If all we are looking for is "oohs, ash's, and attaboys...." well, perhaps we should not be posting our work in progress builds. Save it until it's done.

And if you choose to go down the WIP path and constructive criticism is received, and it is delivered in a helpful manner, take the time to acknowledge and say thanks but no thanks, or thanks, I'll address it if I still can, or hey, I did this or did not do this because... 

quite frankly this site has deteriorated from what it was because such practices are not observed so much...

Cheers brother!

Yeah I don't think it's a big deal.  When I post pictures I like to write feedback or criticism is welcomed.  I'm on here to learn, get better at my favorite hobby, and have a laugh or two.  The easiest way for me to grow as a modeler is by getting feedback by those getting the results I desire.  When someone post pictures and doesn't ask for constructive criticism I generally don't go down that road.  Just my 2 cents.  What do I know?  I'm just a dopey guy drinking beer at 1:00 in the morning.

 

It's cool TB.  We are all friends here.  Some times we throw a few blows.  It happens, then we shake hands and have a beer.  Just ask GM lol