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For those of you who have lived in or driven NJ, I found this in my desk,pretty funny,you'll understand.
Ha! Never drove in New Jersey but I think a lot of that still applies. Thanks for posting.
Thanks,
John
Addendum: All the above applies in New Jersey, most of New York, and so the drivers out west don't feel left out . . . Most of Nevada!!!
A few years back, I was doing a ride-along with the local constabulary and heard this statement, much to my amusement;
"But you can't give me a ticket, it's only my first accident!"
"Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes and they let me use explosives, okay?"
These are most certainly still current and if anything too tame. I was recently on the Jersey Turnpike and the troopers don't even look up from their crossword puzzles unless you're over 80 in the right hand lane. I eventually was on the NY Thruway and just before exiting went thru a radar trap. I looked down and saw I was going 84 (as were the other three cars in the pack was currently in) and nothing happened.
Wait; New Jersey has rules for driving?
Whoda thunk it?
Up here in Eastern Washington the going rules seem to be
1: If in a 4 lane situation ride the left hand passing lane 2mph below the car your "attempting" to pass. OR force everyone into the right hand lane by tailgating in your hopped up desiel Dodge 4×4.
2: Once you have gained lane control and set a speed....usually 10 over posted, proceed to travel into 2 lane traffic then proceed to slow down to 20mph under posted speed limit. Safety first!!
3: Claim to be low on blinker fluid OR have your left hand index finger removed to prevent informing others of your turning intentions.
4: If your exit is next BE SURE to blow past the car in front of you THEN slam on brakes to make your 30mph exit from the left lane.
5: In inclimate weather conditions reduce speed accordingly....this is only a suggestion as your local First Responders truly enjoy being out in a blizzard to pull your dumb body out of the tangled mess YOU created.
6: Keep honking, I'm reloading OR horn broke watch for finger.
we're modelers it's what we do
Both of those seem to be gaining traction in western Oregon as well, especially in the Portland area.
And don't forget the guy who gets on the freeway in stop and go traffic, jumps to the far left lane, because it's moving a half car length faster every 5 minutes, only to dive back over to make the very next exit, usually when he's even with it.
How about the guy who accelerates to 40MPH on the freeway onramp and stops accelerating and somehow thinks that's the way you merge with traffic that is going 75? There seem to be a lot of those guys in Denver...seems like 90%+.
"You can have my illegal fireworks when you pry them from my cold, dead fingers...which are...over there somewhere."
Jersey requires slower traffic to keep right on mulit-lane highways, and use the left lane only to pass.
Jersey drivers find it so liberating to come here to PA and to be free of that law, that they plant their butts in our left lanes and then cruise along at 40 miles an hour.
The bigger the government, the smaller the citizen.
Here in Minnesata a rule is, the left lane is the lane you drive in. The right lane is only for the underclasses. Even if you drive ten mph below the speed limit, you'll look like a fool in the right lane.
They even passed a law about driving in the left lane but it has made NO difference.
Don Stauffer in Minnesota
How many can remember that the left lane was known in some parts as the"Monfort" lane, and why?
Having been a Oregon State / ODOT certified driving instructor, I firmly believe that the driving test should include a written portion where the person must explain and give examples of two terms; YIELD, and RIGHT-of-WAY. I'd be willing to bet that less than 30% of the driving population understand either of those.
That is really funny, However, people in Chicago have been following those rules ever since Henry built his first Model T.
Your comments and questions are always welcome.
Goldhammer, I wasn't familiar with the Monfort moniker, but I do recall it called the 500 dollar lane, as that was what the fine was if a trucker was caught there while not 'actively passing' another vehicle.
Don't know if still around, but there was a trucking company by that name. Was CB slang for the left lane, as that was where you generally found their rigs, foot to the floor.
They're still around, but I'm not sure how well they're doing. They used to have a flight department way back in the day that was one of my customers.
I grew up in Jersey and other rules should be obvserved:
When approaching a traffic circle, speed up to get into the lane you need. This especially applies if you are being persued by at least one police car.
When aboiut to enter a jug handle, make sure you are the first to enter. Otherwise you might as well pull out something to eat.
AS far as the turnpike is concerned:
It doesn't matter how big your car is, it you are in the slow lane and tanks are starting to enter into your lane, move over. Otherwise the experience will not be pleasant, but will be memorable. So will the meeting with the N.J. State Police, the ticket and the expense of buying a new car. (Based oin a actual incident).
When heading south on the turnpike, ignoe the space track tower as well as what looks like a ICBM missile launch site down the hill past the railing. Remember...they..do..not. exist.
Y'all need to spend some time driving around Orlando and Miami and when you do be sure you are driving a rental car. You don't want to risk severe damage to your personal car. As for road rules, they don't exist between Orlando and Tampa, especially when trying to get past traffic going to Disney World. Pack a lunch because you'll be there all day.
OK. In the stash: Way too much to build in one lifetime...
Based on my experience of 6 years living there, those rules also apply in Connecticut. And thanks to all the Yankees who have relocated here, they now apply in Texas.
I live just east of the Orlando city limits. I can't afford to go to the parks anymore.
Since I moved here I have been in at least 7 accidents, almost all have been in stop and go traffic. I stop and the guy behind me didn't. Just a couple days ago I was going into a turn lane and decided to get into the right one and ended up alongside a pickup. While waiting for the light the truck suddenly rolled into the rear of the car in front of him, backing up after a few seconds. Just as the people in the car got out the light changed and I got out of there.
Another problem we are getting more of are these idiots caring up and down Colonial drive, having their music so loud I can hear it from my house and as they seem to see how many backfires they can cause other times.
Motorcycles have been doing more wheelies than ever. Yesterday I saw at least five go by the end of my street and one come from the Yamaha dealer by the gas station doing the same thing around the neighborhood and through the stationnear the pumps as he rode back to the dealer.
It's getting old fast, wish I had a EMP projectorto quiet things down. Latest thing on my street, a slingshot. Very loud and very fast, especially at night.
Space Ranger Based on my experience of 6 years living there, those rules also apply in Connecticut. And thanks to all the Yankees who have relocated here, they now apply in Texas.
Nothing can be worse than the DC beltway. Absolut nightmare
First time I drove on that mess was something I will never repeat.
Here's one for Texas:
I was taking some people to the airport after we finished traffic accident investigation school back in hte 70s. On my way from the airport and heading toward my home base of Little Rock, I was passed on the highway by a Texas Ranger. As he went by I looked down from the cab of my F-150 and saw that he had a can or COORS in his hand. I was a little surprised, but it was his jurisdiction, not mine and the rules were probably a bit different. Besides, he wasn't trying to take it past the state line, that would have been bootlegging. The Air Force did it all the time, they just loaded some into their C-130s and flew home.
I was at Shaw in the '70's, our sister command base was around Austin. Everytime there was a flight, the camera bay was full of Coors when it came back.
Had a plane come back from Maine once. Photo guys went out to unload the cameras, had to wait on the crew to unload all the lobster. Told them, we'll clean all that up for a couple of them. Got told to stuff it. They swapped out the film cans and buttoned up the bay. Next time the bird flew, every camera malfunctioned. Salt corrosion. That put an end to all extra baggage from anywhere.
Every once in a while we would send a C-130 up to Alaska. It would come back with King Crab most of the time.
We sent a couple T-33s from Minot to Maine. The guys needed some long distance flying to finish off their monthly requirements. They ended up bringing back enough lobsters for the whole squadron.
On my second S.E.A. toiur the base was holding a carnival for the local orphanage. The C-130 gunship squadron, 16th S.O.S. had a couple ships flying back from the Philipines after repairs and were hauling cases of COORS. They auctioned them off one bottle at a time and from what I hear made a bundle for the orphanage.
Hi Tojo!
Change the name of the state and you have where I live, in TEXAS! Explanation of woman getting ticket for Following to Close on the Freeway after she hit me from behind at 65 M.P.H. " But officer I was going the Speed Limit." Funny that, So was I! Her car had to be towed, Mine Not even a scratch!. Lesson. Never follow an Older Grand Marquis too close in a Honda Coupe!
A Honda Coiupe? You mean one of those small cars they made from 71-73?
If so, my wife had a 1972 Coupe andafter I got used to its appearance and size, it was actually fun to drive and park.
Nothing can compare to the trip I took to India last year. Hyderabad and Bangalore - absolutley insane. There are no rules except to honk honk honk.
I hear Italy is pretty bad too,the 405 in Orange county, and the Beltway around DC are pretty bad
St. Petersburg, Russia is a driving adventure too...not for the faint of heart.
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