How to make your cardiologist laugh in hospital!

Those stories got me laughing like crazy. Thanks I realy needed that. I have been just diagnosed with prostate cancer. I hope I get great healthcare workers like you guys did. You are correct the people that work in hospitals dont get enough recognition that they should. I know because I am married to a registered nurse. I suppose I am lucky enough to have my own personal nurse. haha winkwink.

My wife was in the health care field for over 30 years.  I know the daily load the staff has in normal times, let alone in these days of covid and burnout.  Figured that whatever I can do to lighten the day........ besides, when I don't feel good, I just don't want to be hovered over.  Just let me be.

For all the healthcare folks and first responders, know you are damn well appreciated.  It's amazing to me that you haven't thrown up your hands and found something else to do.

goldhammer88

 

 

castelnuovo

Good to hear you are well. I would love to have patients like you. 

 

 

 

 

Probably get a chuckle out of this.  When in ICU in Boise, nurse came in about 0300 to do vitals.  Since I was wired up to monitors, couldn't get to the restroom.  Was making use of urinal jug.  She saw what was going on, turned away and said I'll give you some privacy.  I think she was a little embarrassed thinking she had embarrassed me.

Told her not to worry about it, as a nurse, you've seen it all. And what I've been through the past 11 years, it doesn't bother me.  Besides, as dad always said " if haven't seen before, don't know what it is, and if have, can look on in awe".  Then told her she could drop the last letter of last word.

Took her a minute to process, then she cracked up laughing.  Whenever she had me, we got along great.

 

 

 

LOL, stories aplenty

When I was in for the triple bypass, They tried Morphine, Codiene and Demerol for the pain. Well I was alergic to all three. One of them, I can't remember which, had me seeing the paint on the wall melt and bugs crawling in the light fixtures. When I got back to work and told them about my experiences, one of them said "Hey guys, Jim had his first trip man". Everyone busted up laughing except me. I didn't think it was funny at the time.

I also got tired of having the nurse wake me up in the middle of the night with "It's time to take your sleeping pill".

Jim 

Stay Safe.

I got my V.A. doctor a couple times.  Once I told her that because of my hands going numb I had to give up my explosives hoby and asked her if she realized how much I pur inro it and what am I to do with all the stuff I have left.  She justlooked at me for a couple seconds before it dawbed on her tht I was kidding.

Another time she had just finished checking me out abd was seareing to sit down when in the style of one of the medical commercials I asked her if my heart was healthy enough for sex.  She just froze for a few seconds and then finished sitting.

castelnuovo

Good to hear you are well. I would love to have patients like you. 

 

Probably get a chuckle out of this.  When in ICU in Boise, nurse came in about 0300 to do vitals.  Since I was wired up to monitors, couldn't get to the restroom.  Was making use of urinal jug.  She saw what was going on, turned away and said I'll give you some privacy.  I think she was a little embarrassed thinking she had embarrassed me.

Told her not to worry about it, as a nurse, you've seen it all. And what I've been through the past 11 years, it doesn't bother me.  Besides, as dad always said " if haven't seen before, don't know what it is, and if have, can look on in awe".  Then told her she could drop the last letter of last word.

Took her a minute to process, then she cracked up laughing.  Whenever she had me, we got along great.

Well... it has been a bit of a strange past 6 months on the health front. A kidney stone landed me in A&E and after sitting with a bag of fluid dripping into my arm for hours I kicked up a fuss as the original pain meds the Ambulance guys gave me wore off. Then everything started to move as my Parade Ground Bellow made all of A&E aware that the guy who was sitting quietly with a fluid bag on a stand was no longer quiet and wasn't doing well.

I was given pain meds pretty quickly and a nurse took me to a cubicle. A Doctor wanted a sample in a cardboard "bottle" to which the conversation took a turn which made him laugh....

You want a sample? From here into there? Bit of a reach Doc. It is probably the lack of pressure available but I will try.

Nope... a toilet was pointed out but with the fluid stand I could not get through the door and eventually went into the disabled toilet which was wider and I found plenty of space and handholds.

Things in there didn't go well and I ended up knocking the carboard bottle with sample inside int a sink while trying to move around with fluid stand and pulling up the pants. I was able to salvage the little that was left in cardboard recepticle.

I was making a lot of noise and swearing in more than one language and someone outside asked if I was alright. My response of "Just tipped the sample down the bloody sink. If it goes really quiet then I do need help! "

On return to the cubicle The doctor was waiting. I handed the megre contents with the words:

"Accident with a sink, Doc. Sorry!"

He took it away and when he was down the far end of the corrider I yelled out:

"Even I know that's not the right colour for a pee and if it comes back showing I am pregnant you and me are having words!"

This reduced everyone to helpless laughter!

You can hire me to liven up any place with non-politically correct humour and selective rudeness at cheap rates plus travel and accomodation!

Good to hear you are well. I would love to have patients like you. 

I know that feeling, every couple hours for vitals, every 6 the vampires show up to draw more blood.

But it was fun and interesting to watch in the big screen when they were poking at a blockage with a wire, and watching the result swirl, like a muddy stream mixing with a clear one.

Goldhammer> Well, not really.  After enough morphine I was pretty out of it.  Moving my leg was difficult at best!  What was the kicker was, since I'm diabetic, the nurses coming in and jabbing me in the finger every two hours or so, in addition to their normal rounds.  I hardly got to sleep!  By the time I got released, I was exhausted!

GAF.... isn't it fun not moving the leg for about 6 hours so you don't tear open the artery they went through to place the stents?

First couple hours not bad, but keeps getting harder the longer it goes.

Snap, what you trying to do, play copycat?  10 days after my lady passed in July, my pacemaker/defibulator shocked me 5 times in 3 hours, 2 at home and 3 in emergency room.  Got me stabilized and loaded me on a plane for a 500 mile trip to the nearest cardio ICU that was accepting patients.  4 days later, the bosses wife made the 1000 mile round trip to bring me back.

They completely revamped my meds, and so far doing okay.  Back in 2010, when they put in 3 stents, they put my EF at 25%.

When you get shocked, it's just like on TV when they hit someone with the paddles.  Locks you up completely, and will pick you up about 3" off a bed.  One of the nurses had never seen one go off, And she went about a foot straight up.  My buddies wife was in ER with me, and I think it took her 10 minutes to pick her jaw off the floor and reposition, and about the same to get rid of the bug eyed look.

Anyway, glad you made it through and recovering.

I started going bald when I was 17 years old, and by the time I was 20, hair was pretty much a lost cause.  Not a big deal back then though, since I joined the Air Force when I was 17...wouldn't be needing it.  A couple of years ago, when I was diagnosed with cancer, my doctor told me I was going to have to do 6 months of chemotherapy.  When he told me that I said, "Chemo?!  Oh my god!  Is it going to make me lose all my hair?!"

Yup.  Keep a sense of humor about it.  Nothing else helps really...but that does.

Two months ago I went into the hospital for chest pains.  They put two stints in my coronary artery and let me go after a couple of days.  Then, just a couple of days later, I was suffering the same symptoms again.  At the emergency room, as I was lying on the table, one of the staff commented, "Weren't you in here a couple of days ago?"

I commented,"Yes, I liked the place so much, I came back for a second visit."

(The two stints they had placed had clogged up and they had to put in two more.)

Stay healthy and keep your sense of humour!

Gary

Had a heart attack myself in 2017, and have had a total of 9 stents placed since then. You have my prayers brother.

It sounds like you're having a pretty awful month, mate - I admire your ability to keep smiling!  Stay well, I hope things improve for you.