Oh, wow! These are some of the funniest stories I've ever read! I love 'em!
As far as modeling mishaps, I can't recall any major ones. I can't recall any minor ones, either, although I'm sure I've had a few over the years. The old memory ain't what it used to be (and I'm only 47!).
But, just recently, while working at a hospital's cancer treatment department, at night, I wasn't watching where I was walking, and slammed my head into a ceiling-mounted BrainLab monitor that had a very hard metal handle attached to the bottom of it (yep, I hit that handle). I literally saw stars. I immediately fell to the floor, holding my head in both hands, with blood pouring all over the floor (although I didn't realize I was bleeding at the moment). I think I invented a few new words while lying there. Luckily, someone working late in the department heard me, came to see what was up, and saw all the blood on me, my hands, face, clothing, and the floor. She got me up, looked at the wound on the top of my noggin (said it wasn't serious), cleaned up the floor, and got me to sit for a while until the bleeding stopped. I take Plavix, so bleeding is a big concern for me. I did make sure to move that f***&%$#@ monitor outa the way, though.
And, for another story, the day before Mother's Day this year (07 May 2011), I was cutting some boards to replace rotting planks in our deck, and, as the blade on my table saw was winding down after I had turned off the power, I STUPIDLY reached across the saw to pick up a scrap piece of wood, and sawed through three fingers on my right hand, cutting the index, middle, and ring fingers longitudinally from the last knuckle to the finger tip on each. Needless to say, I lost the fingernails on all three fingers, plus lots of meat as well. What's really wierd about this is none of my fingers ever hurt from this. Never. When the fingers hit the spinning blade, all I heard was a "DING" from the blade, and I felt something hit my fingers. I had to look at them to realize that they were injured. No pain at all. Ripped through the fingers of the glove I was weaing like they weren't even there. The only pain I had was when the doctor in the ER filled all three fingers with Lidocain to prevent pain while stitching everything up. THAT FREAKIN' HURT!!!!! You would figure that a medicine that prevents pain by deadening nerves wouldn't hurt when administered - WRONG! It hurts worse than anything, except maybe kidney stones (those are another story). I live in a very small town, so anything like my dilemma is a big deal at a small-town hospital, and word gets around very quickly (my wife actually took picures of the suture procedure with her iPhone, and posted all of this on Facebook before the doctor was even done with the stitches!! How do I know this? No, she didn't tell me - I started getting phone calls on my cell phone from church friends enquiring about my fingers!! Wasn't that nice of her?). So, while in the ER, awaiting the Lidocain to take effect, numerous (around 20 or so over the two-hour span I was there) hospital employees (and I think some other patients, too) made their way over to my room to see just how many fingers were missing. I think quite a few were disappointed to see that I still had all of mine - just three missing fingernails, and some ugly-looking wounds. The fingers are still healing nicely, although I will some nasty scars for the rest of my life on them. They never did hurt.........
Gary Mason