Sorry,

I recently went through a divorce and a bout with cancer. I really didn't feel like touching anything. the upheaval to my life understandably caused depression. My bench sat idle and my kits were stored in boxes collecting dust.  I tell you, it just takes time. When my life started to get back to some form of normalcy. the desire came back also. I've just started building again. It'll come in due time, my friend. I've been there.

Rick

Glad you were able to start building again, my best wishes for your future.

Who needs to spend thousands on a therapist there are a enough good ones right here and they are  on call 24/7.

 What a great support group.

female modelers exist in the world.I am just guessing.You take care and have a good life.

M1,

I'm glad to hear that, as upsetting as the divorce is, it's been amicable and civil.  As for model building, you cannot leave it.  It doesn't let you go!  I say that jokingly but there is also an ounce of truth to it.

As you said, it's a good mindset to at least build.  Maybe it won't result in a finished model but it's good to keep building for the relaxation and escapism if nothing else.  I cannot even begin to tell you how I fell into a model building funk and just stepped away for a while.  But don't discard anything.  Just store them away and someday you'll find yourself maybe painting a cockpit or a tire in nothing else than for its relaxation value.  Building models is the journey and not always the destination.

I know divorce is hard but, like all things in life, this too shall pass.  You'll wake up one day and realize it's just a distant memory and you'll go on with the better things in your life.  And, best of all, you'll still be building models.

Best wishes,

Eric

One day at a time. Things WILL get better.

Take Care, Tanker. My wife and I will keep you in our prayers.

First I want to thank everyone for their insightful and gracious replies to my post. I am lucky. My ex-wife and I are still very good friends and the divorce while not good was about as easy as I think one could get. Still it has been a major life change and very hard to deal with at times. That being said the very day I posted this after reading some of the comments, I put glue to plastic for the first time in months! 8-))

Many of you mentioned modeling as away of relaxing and after thinking about it for a little bit that is what I tried. You see I have always had a kind of ahhhhh feeling while building kits or even reading about scale modeling, but have since found that feeling is no longer there. Maybe, some day I'll get it back but in the meanwhile just building for building and relaxation sake will be enough to help.

Again a big thank you to all of you for your guidance.......

M1 A1 A2 Tanker

Lord have mercy. I feel for all of you divorced guys, truly.

My cancer doc told me modeling or a similar activity was good for me. Form of meditation. I'd say for sure keep all of your tools at least. If you did come back to the sport, er hobby, you'd be glad you did.

Great advise given here. It's normal to go thru periods that you will step back from the workbench and devote your time to something else. If you need the room then pack your things away till the urge returns. I have a friend who lost interest and sold a couple of hundred kits on Ebay only to return to the hobby 5-6 years later. Take a break and step back, things happen in life for a reason. At least for me, when I divorced my first wife and waved bye bye,   I felt relieved!

When my ex-wife and I first seperated, I lost a lot of motivation to build. However, I spent a lot of sleepless nights during the divorce process where I spent my time putting myself through hell. I seem to have particularly enjoyed the agony of asking, "What if" or revisiting moments where I regretted my actions or my words. Divorce can be a nasty affair, particularly where there are children involved. Too much time alone wrestling with ghosts just makes the whole experience even more trying.

About a year after things were made final, I got tired of the insomnia and the sense of depression. Taking my place at the work bench and putting my hands back in motion was theraputic for me. It gave me an opportunity to focus my thoughts and attention to better ends. In a lot of ways, it kept me from losing my bloody mind.

Hang in there, Tanker. Take the advice these wonderful gentlemen have offered and take a break if you need to do so. But, from someone who has "been there and done that", don't put those tools too far out of reach. I truly hope you don't walk the road I followed, but if you do, just remember that this hobby has a funny way of allowing you to find center once again.

on everything said above. I, too, have been through what you're going through, and it ain't easy. When I went though my divorce, I just stored all of my stuff, and didn't look at it. For a long time..... But, now that I have a great wife, who understands hobbies in general (she's a scrapbooker & quilter), I've got it all back out, where I can fiddle with it when I want. 

It's hard, I know. But you're gonna pull through. Just takes a bit of time.

Looks like there are plenty of us here that have been through what you are going through, and have come out the other side.  Any shrink will tell you that no longer showing an interest in your hobby(s) is a sign of depression.  Nothing wrong with it, a by-product of divorce if you will.  When you get settled into your new life, whatever form it may take, you'll find the urge to take up the hobby again will return.  And you'll kick yourself for selling all those kits and supplies.  I built nothing in the 18 months after my divorce.  Then 6 kits in the year after that, and this year I want to aim for 1 per month.  Hang in there, things will get better.

I'll just add my echo to the above posts...been there too. Extreme life-altering events have not only put model-building on the back burner, but completely tossed it off the stove and out of the kitchen entirely.

Pack all your stuff away for now and you will return to it again with renewed enthusiasm after you re-build your life....and as dark as things may seem now, rebuild your life you WILL.

Best of luck to you and God bless

Sorry about the rough times. My 2 cents......

I didn't feel like doing anything during my domestic reorganization, and for over a year after it was finalized. I think we are all wired differently and such things effect some of us more than others.

If you don't feel like it, you don't feel like it. (I'm going through a period of that for the past month, to my dismay). But like some of the others, seems a shame to ditch all your stuff. You might not realise how much you have tied up in tools and stuff. Things will get better, someday you might feel a little urge to go fiddle. That's how my dark periods start ending.

Hang in there, sir.

I am with Rob and Bish on this. Pack up your stuff and put it aside. I have had my periods of weeks or months where I just don't get anything done at the workbench- not because of other things taking place, but because the muse isn't in me. But so far it always has eventually returned in time. DO NOT force it to happen, and it will flow back naturally.

 I have an idea...forget about making models to the best of your ability.  Go buy some cheap Snap-tites and build them with firecrackers pre-installed.  I find that the more I "sweat the details" about something, the more my mind tends to wander to other subjects.  Don't worry about it looking "correct".  Slop some paint on and don't worry about exact decal positioning.  Or don't even paint and decal them.  Build them quick-and-dirty.  And then go blow them up!

I sympathize with your situation.  I've been where you are and it was a terrible time in my life.  But YOU WILL get through it a better person.

Now go to that workbench and HAVE SOME FUN!!!! 

Unless you truly need the space the items occupy or the money selling it might bring, just stuff the stuff in a closet or other out of the way place. I often go through extremely long periods of non-modeling, but always return.

I stopped when I went to college, but then started building after I was stuck on campus on long weekends or other holidays.

I stopped when I left college and went into the Army, but I started again after more long weekends and holidays.

I stopped when I got married, but started up again when having children made it too expensive to go out and with the wife. Sitters got paid by the hour per child, we'd spend more on the sitter than on the evening.

I stopped after I started working again. Second shift hours for me, including commute, means I am out of the house from 2 PM to 1:45 AM. I'm in bed by 2 AM and up at 9 AM. Sometimes I go for weeks without building, because there's always something to fix around the house or yardwork before going to work.

It's nice to know I have something to tinker with on the table in my home office whenever the mood and time suits me.

Hello, I'm new to the forum but not new to your situation . been there done that. I was a a collector of antiques and collectibles . i had been collecting since i was a teenager.tools ,tin toys,windups,vending,gumball, locks, marbles ,funiture.the list goes on and on...how much was my collection worth...i couldn't force myself to attend the auction to find out. yep i lost it all. over 20 years of collecting sold in and afternoon.divorce can and is devastating . took a couple of years to get over it but i did get over it. it will take time but you'll get over it too. we all do...don't get rid of your gear or models when the time is right you will pick up the hobby again. i actually found going back out to flea markets and yard sales cathodic, reconnected with others who shared my interest and it became my lifeline to staying sane.i still do it but not to the extent i once did and now i have picked up modeling to help keep the old brain and hands sharp...it will get better and your not alone.. BTW remarried 17 years now much much better.

Well Tanker, I'll say this; I had a period of about 5 years when I seldom touched models or tools.  I had two stalled builds going and due to a couple personal issues of my own, I just stopped scale modeling.  But, I found I missed it.   I missed that creative outlet that it provides.  I'll never be a prize-winning modeler but still I enjoy the process of building.  I might be slow as hell, but I'm still going.  In fact yesterday, I attached the wings to my A6-E.  It was started last July...

Think about your decision for a while, there's no hurry is it?   A little farther along, you may find you have another prospective on this.  Good luck

Gary

My advice would be not to force it. When I separated from my now ex, I stopped modelling, for various reasons. But I always felt I would get back to it at some point. So everything was kept in storage, and after 5 years, I was able to get back to it.

Maybe take a break for a month or so and try again. If it isn't there, pack everything away and do what ever you need to do.

And I wish you the best, what ever you decide to do.

Sounds like you've gone through tough times. Sorry to hear.

My advice would be to use modelling as a way to clear your mind. It works for me. Sometimes it's hard to sit and concentrate, then it sets in and helps me relax. Maybe join a GB so there is some more motivation?