Pardon me, sir ... why are you here?

I might be going too far... 

My last visit to Wal*Mart with the family, I decided to look for some liquid mask. I was looking for something in a screw top container. My wife and sone were showing me stuff in somekind of squeeze bag thing with fruit scents. Well after 5 minutes my wife and son said I was nuts and left to go shopping. My daughter went to look at her make-up stuff. There I am all alone and no clue what I'm really looking for.

A few minutes later a woman worker in her mid 50's came over and asked if I needed any help. I said yes, thank you... I'm looking for a facial mask in a screw top container. She heard my daughter call to me from the other isle so didn't think much of it. We walked slowly up and down the isles for about 20 minutes in search of the masking goo. My daughter kept coming over to me asking me if I wanted different brushes she was finding. I said yes to a big one that would be good for dusting off models and a little one for detail work. The worker kept trying to push the ones in those bags too. I told her - "my wife tried to have me get those, that's not what I want". She looked at me and said - "This is for you and not your daughter?" I said yes, well she gave me the worst look I ever got in my life. You would think I just had bad sex with her and told her - "by the way, I have AIDS". Well she took a deep breath and said - "do you know what it is used for?" I said - "sure, my car models". Well she was about ready to kick me I think, but was nice enough to say - "sir, in town you can go to the beauty supply shop warehouse and you can probably find everything there that you need". She gave me directions and everything to the place.

Now all I have to do is convince my wife to go with me. I guess I could take my daughter, even though she'll keep asking me if "this" is what I want. 

Why can't they sell this stuff at Home Depot?

I can imagine their reaction's. Probably like the ones I get in a hobby shop, hardware, automotive, or feed store. 

"Can I help you, ma'am."

"I need a 2" cork gasket for a settlement bulb, a set of plug wires and caps, and a can of Ferguson Gray tractor paint. Oh, I need the red too." 

The guy at the local farm store makes his newest clerk wait on me just to make embarrass them I think.  Gary dies laughing when their eyes go wide.  I probably have an easier time working on something because my hands are smaller and can fit more places.

Rob Gronovius wrote:

Or you can just go into the paint supply section of the hardware store or Wal-Mart and look for the one pint containers of acetone (sold near the paint thinners). It is much cheaper, only a couple of bucks for a container the size of charcoal lighter fluid.

Ordinary acetone can eat trough plastic, nail polish remover is diluted and thus safer to use.

Swanny wrote:

Hey, did you pick up some eyeshadow swabs while you were there? You'll want some! Also some of those eyeshadow sets look pretty interesting with colors similar to deisel exhaust and burnt cordite. Might as well get a pack of laytex gloves like used for coloring hair -- great for avoiding fingerprints during final stages of airbrushing. Yeah, ladies makeup department can provide you with all sorts of goodies that will raise the clerk's eyebrow. Now go into the home depot and pick up airbrush supplies -- it's amazing how many are on the same list for a meth lab. Why do I know that? Just did a training session with the head of the local drug task force on haz-mat.

Don't forget the Midol for when those parts just won't go together!

Hey, did you pick up some eyeshadow swabs while you were there? You'll want some! Also some of those eyeshadow sets look pretty interesting with colors similar to deisel exhaust and burnt cordite. Might as well get a pack of laytex gloves like used for coloring hair -- great for avoiding fingerprints during final stages of airbrushing. Yeah, ladies makeup department can provide you with all sorts of goodies that will raise the clerk's eyebrow. Now go into the home depot and pick up airbrush supplies -- it's amazing how many are on the same list for a meth lab. Why do I know that? Just did a training session with the head of the local drug task force on haz-mat.

Rob Gronovius wrote:

Or you can just go into the paint supply section of the hardware store or Wal-Mart and look for the one pint containers of acetone (sold near the paint thinners). It is much cheaper, only a couple of bucks for a container the size of charcoal lighter fluid.

Ugh! Why didn't I think of that?  That's how I buy my mineral spirits after all.

Should have saved yourself the trouble and bought one of each type!

Or you can just go into the paint supply section of the hardware store or Wal-Mart and look for the one pint containers of acetone (sold near the paint thinners). It is much cheaper, only a couple of bucks for a container the size of charcoal lighter fluid.

dkmacin wrote:

Bill, Remember the FSM article on the tank that used fish net stockings for a mask? Bought at Victoria's Secret no less! Don

Why, yes. Yes, I do. That was the article I had in mind...

      

store clerk : yes sir feminine hygene is in isle 3

wing_nut wrote:

LOL.  I know what that feels like... when I go to Sally's beuty supplies and get to the checkout and ask them to scan my discount card.

I got one too!

And I do gets some strange looks when I'm alone in the store, wearing Wrangler jeans, boots, and a John Deer cap.  I somehow don't fit the profile of a guy who buys that kind of stuff, or worse, gets excited over it.

Back when I was in high school, I started scouring the make-up and fabric departments for tools and supplies, and amazingly, I was able to get some dates from the girls that worked the make-up counter and in fabric depatment.

Then again, I used the excuse that I was in a band and was into "modeling".

Yuk Yuk!

Scott

Bill, Remember the FSM article on the tank that used fish net stockings for a mask?
Bought at Victoria's Secret no less!

Don

I won't even tell you the kind of looks I got when I bought eyeliner pencils and eye shadow for some weathering a few years back.

The guy working the till looked like he wanted to feed me my teeth for trying to buy those things.

Could have been worse, could have been stockings...

LOL.  I know what that feels like... when I go to Sally's beuty supplies and get to the checkout and ask them to scan my discount card.

LOL!!!  ROFLMAO!!!

well that sure is one of situations when a lie would be better than the truth.

That's funny... would not want to be in you shoes lol...