How to make your Wife/Girlfriend/Significant Other Hate Modeling

Bill, once again, a brilliant insight.  I agree with the above.  In fact, I came to this comclusion a few days ago.  As I was/am guilty of a few of those, I felt it necessary to open a dialog with the wife regarding my problem.  It turns out that the problem is, as you, pointed out, our behavior.  Today I enjoyed a guilt free day of building and painting, with intermitent periods of wifetime.  She said, "I'm glad you are building a model."  This was not snide or sarcastic.  I've always been willing to step away from my models for other things.  This probably helps with my wifes disposition toward me.  If there is any lesson I have to offer is that secrets are bad.

There can be worst bad habits or addictions, don't you think. I think that is why certain wives are forgiving of the stash. They realize we could be out and about with our single guy friends doing all the silly little sneaky things we shouldn't.

Thanks, I've noticed a bunch of threads where the theme was "How am I going to get away with..." when the point is you shouldn't have to "get away" with anything, as long as it's reasonable, or isn't in lieu of paying the phone bill. I was going to post this in one of those threads, but I thought it might be more beneficial on it's own. I've always found that if I spend time with my wife she eventually tires of me and tells me to go build something anyway!

While I'm a big time supporter of the old "It's easier to get forgiveness than permission", I have discovered that is trumped by "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"!

I am horrible at secrets and lies. I don't think I'm smart enough to lie effectively. Besides, it's just too hard trying to remember all those deceitful details! The truth is really easy to remember.

I've also discovered that while I could pull the "Pater Familia" act and show her who's boss, that is an unhappy way to spend time, and eventually I remember we're a partnership. She gets a vote same as me, and we share the workload. I "let" her go out once a week to her girlfriend's house for craft night and a chick flick and she "lets" me have a small stash and take up most of a room for modeling. And I don't have to watch chick flicks!

I've posted in a few of those How I Sneak ___ threads.  I started to think that it was going to get old and I wanted to stop before it became more of an issue.

tigerman wrote:

There can be worst bad habits or addictions, don't you think. I think that is why certain wives are forgiving of the stash. They realize we could be out and about with our single guy friends doing all the silly little sneaky things we shouldn't.

Absolutely, but that doesn't mean that we should do silly little sneaky things about modeling. _All_ of our wives should be more forgiving of the stash, but some of us (and I'm NOT pointing fingers) have more models than sense, or have done things in a deceitful manner that makes their wives hate the stash. When I was a kid a stash was where one hid one's drugs. That connotation is not lost on me!

My wife is the one who first mentioned that I could be out drinking instead. She was explaining why she likes me building "toys" to one of her friends. That only works for a little while. The obverse is also true, she could be out with her single girl friends doing all the silly little sneaky things she shouldn't!

Your right on Bill. The best, not always easiest, way is to just tell her. My wife is pretty good about my stash. When I go "hobby shopping" with a friend, she knows it's her turn next. We have an agreement where what I spend on models, she goes and spends the same on herself. Some days it's easier for me to just book her a day at the spa!

She is happy that I am at home, building away in my hobby room. The kids have their projects in there and it's like a boys only club on saturday mornings. Times both her and I would not trade anything for (well maybe a bigger room and larger stash)

Drew

Bgrigg wrote:

Thanks, I've noticed a bunch of threads where the theme was "How am I going to get away with..." when the point is you shouldn't have to "get away" with anything, as long as it's reasonable, or isn't in lieu of paying the phone bill.

 

Spot on!!!!

Ya know Bill, sometimes I think I don't give you enough credit buddy That is pretty much right on the money! My fiance thinks models are boring, and she has no desire to build or much less to hear about them, however, she will tell me how cool one looks when I get it done, or ask questions about it... I think just to please me, but who cares She will give me a hard time about my stash, which really isn't much compared to some guys, but she will ride me hard if I buy a new kit, just to entertain herself... dang I love her!

I think one of the most important things about keeping the signifigant other happy is you have to be able to put down the exacto and airbrush and take care of things around the house from time to time, like what was said above. I also found that making little jet or car noises while building tends to get you a good laughing at to... not that I have ever done that...

I think a lot of what is said is exaggerated, too.  I know if I say the wife will kill me.  I mean she'll glare at me and say that I shouldn't have spent so much.  Then 10 minutes later, you wouldn't know anyone did anything wrong.  That would be the end of it. 

guilty of 1, 2, 3, 5, and now 4...

My wife is happy about the hobby I have chosen.  It could have been worse, I could be doing stock car racing, pro bass fishing, bow hunting, or golf, and like our freinds who do those things, spend every moment of their free time and tens of thousands of dollars a year to support their hobby / sport.

I spend what?  A few hundred bucks a year.  This year, with going to Nationals, I actually went closer to spending a $1000.00 on my entire hobby, but that also includes four nites in a nice hotel and taking her out to some nice dinners and seeing the sights of KC.

When I raced stock cars and motocross, I would blow $1000.00 in a week.

Scott

I avoid the money issue by only having a physical stash of 2 kits at any time. The rest of my stash is in temporary holding on an online store! The best way to "hide" stuff is not to keep it in the house!

Andy 

I am very fortunate.  My wife and I both work very hard for our money and we both are very supportive of each other.  We don't keep any secrets from each other as our relationship is based on complete trust... that's why I married her in the first place (well... one of the many reasons  ).  I have a huge stash of kits and my wife knows how much enjoyment I get from them, my books and reference material and all my guitar stuff.  And I know how much she enjoys doing her things.  It's nice not having to sneak kits into the house.  I always show her my latest buy and she got just about as excited about my latest Dragon Shermans (M4A1 76mm, M4A3 76mm) and my Dragon PzKpfw IVD as I did!  It was cool, she was checking out all the parts and the photo etch.  It's really nice to have someone as supportive as she is.     

Wulf wrote:

I avoid the money issue by only having a physical stash of 2 kits at any time. The rest of my stash is in temporary holding on an online store! The best way to "hide" stuff is not to keep it in the house! Andy

And that is where it starts!

You got 3&4 wulf, the others are sure to follow!

The comment about the stash and drugs was kinda funny to me.  In a way it is very true.  This buying kits until you have 3-4-5 hundred could possibly indicate some sort of disorder.  A few times when the FedEx man would deliver the goods and I would get my fix, I couldn't help thinking, "So... this is what being a junky is like."  The most I've ever had was about 40 kits, of which I only intended to build about half.  My wife doesn't like me to buy piles of models that I'm not building.  That makes alot of sense to me.  I do enjoy buying models, but that fun ends quickly.  If I would build models one or two at a time and only had a few in reserve, I think she wouldn't care so much if ____ just came out with an all new ____ and I must have it.

The funny thing is I started this post as a joke, just trying to be a clown, but as I kept thinking of ways to PO the wife I realized that as humorous as it may be, it had a ring of truth for so many of us. I know if I did any of those things my wife would get, not angry really, but disappointed. Which any of us long married people know is far, far worse!

There has been many a joke made about styrene addiction and ha ha that's a knee slapper and all, but I can't help but wonder if there isn't a grain of truth is some of the comments. I know people who can't stop buying things (not just models) off EBay "because it's a deal". Well folks, you can't save money by buying things you don't need, even if it's half off!

I find that buying kits and never building them is a bit of a waste.  300 x $25.95=$7,785.00 ... just for some perspective.  If you build musclecars, that could be the start of a very enjoyable resto.  I have done 3,4,5, mostly because I wanted the kit now instead of waiting until I finished what I was working on.  Almost everything that I snuck in is still sitting in the closet.  I could still have that money and be just as happy, maybe even happier not feeling like I wasted a few hundred on those kits.

Bgrigg wrote:

I know people who can't stop buying things (not just models) off EBay "because it's a deal". Well folks, you can't save money by buying things you don't need, even if it's half off!

o_0

Yea I know that but even though it had stopped for a while,  I apparently still can't stop myself as of right now.  I only get models though.  The thing is that I am considering them as needed to finish a full collection of kits (which I am building), like every 1/20 Tamiya F1 cars and 1/12 bikes...  I mean they only released 104 bikes and like 58 F-1 kits (but discontinued over half of them) so the craze still has its limits.  I get some duplicates here and there for some discontinued kits with complex decals so I have spares in case I screw up.  You guys think that's normal for a person?  (I think I do have insecurity issues...  =P)

I feel the same about stuff like WW2 US vehicles.  It is a bit of a compulsion, but if it can't be controlled by will power alone, you might need to think about finding some way of preventing yourself from buying.

Bgrigg wrote:

How to make your Wife/Girlfriend/Significant Other Hate Modeling: 1) Spend every waking moment ... 2) Insist on buying ... 3) Lie about it. 4) Post about how clever you are ... 5) Walk around the house like a love sick puppy ... 6) Say "we can't afford to ...

That would do it Bill. But I think she just might hate more than the models. 

... I don't do any of the above (well, maybe #5 a little)...

Careful Bill, some might think... well... a visit to a special doctor might be in your near future.


As far as my stash...
I usually only buy my car model kits that are getting hard to find [OOP kits] that fit in my scheme of things. My wife is the one who actually encourages me to get the kits before they are no longer available. Sometimes I don't listen to her, thinking that I'm spending to much of our hobby kitty fund. I should listen to her more often, I lost out on a few kits so far.

Even though my wife has no interest in building models, she does look over my shoulder from time to time to see what I'm doing. There's times she'll work on her oil on canvas painting on one side of the table while I work on my model on the other.

We both discuss what we would like to purchase and take turns spending the money from the kitty we set aside just for or hobbies. Sometimes we surprise each other and buy for each other instead of for ourselves. We try to keep mama happy, so everyone can be happy. 

espins1 wrote:

I am very fortunate.  My wife and I both work very hard for our money and we both are very supportive of each other.  We don't keep any secrets from each other as our relationship is based on complete trust... that's why I married her in the first place (well... one of the many reasons  ).  I have a huge stash of kits and my wife knows how much enjoyment I get from them, my books and reference material and all my guitar stuff.  And I know how much she enjoys doing her things.  It's nice not having to sneak kits into the house.  I always show her my latest buy and she got just about as excited about my latest Dragon Shermans (M4A1 76mm, M4A3 76mm) and my Dragon PzKpfw IVD as I did!  It was cool, she was checking out all the parts and the photo etch.  It's really nice to have someone as supportive as she is.

thats because she knows she has a little plastic baby sitter for her little (big) snuggly-poo that keeps him home warm dry and safe from the evils of wine women and song 

Lots of people keep saying things about being out living fast if not at home modelling.  That doesn't seem right to me.  The implication is that when the kits run out we would run off to the tity bar or something.  I don't think that properly describes most of us.

MortarMagnet wrote:

Lots of people keep saying things about being out living fast if not at home modelling.  That doesn't seem right to me.  The implication is that when the kits run out we would run off to the tity bar or something.  I don't think that properly describes most of us.

Sure it does. Thats what I always tell her

MortarMagnet wrote:

Lots of people keep saying things about being out living fast if not at home modelling.  That doesn't seem right to me.  The implication is that when the kits run out we would run off to the tity bar or something.  I don't think that properly describes most of us.

to be honest mortarmagnet i agree with you for the most part  but.....

every person has a hobby, be it  models, drinking, sex, even just watching tv and many of those hobbies are not good and sometimes lead to problems,  ie: tity bars

 

oh 1 other thing the new hobby craze for the wives seems to be scrapbooking and from what i have seen it (can) be fairly expensive 3 to as much as 18 usd per page

Crapbooking has been building steam for a while now.  It has really hit its stride in the past few years.  I really don't understand it.  It's like an evolution of Elem. School art class.  I guess they probably feel the same about models.  When I was dating my wife she asked why I build models and I don't just buy a replica or something.  Hobbies really are something that appeals to the individual.  So, if I don't like it, it doesn't make it bad.

Edit: What I was trying to say is that it seems there are some guys out there that think we'd all be off doing some hard living if we weren't building models.  I disagree with that because I think most of the fellows here are family men.  This may be wrong.  Also, I don't believe what others choose to do with their time to be wrong.  I might not do it because it is wrong for me.

MortarMagnet wrote:

Crapbooking has been building steam for a while now.  It has really hit its stride in the past few years.  I really don't understand it.  It's like an evolution of Elem. School art class.  I guess they probably feel the same about models.  When I was dating my wife she asked why I build models and I don't just buy a replica or something.  Hobbies really are something that appeals to the individual.  So, if I don't like it, it doesn't make it bad. Edit: What I was trying to say is that it seems there are some guys out there that think we'd all be off doing some hard living if we weren't building models.  I disagree with that because I think most of the fellows here are family men.  This may be wrong.  Also, I don't believe what others choose to do with their time to be wrong.  I might not do it because it is wrong for me.

My wife got into it just long enough to purchase all the stuff that she eventually never used. You get my drift? She always does that. She's hooked on something for a mili-second. Bags pretty much everything she starts. At least with modeling, I'm more or less consistant. Lately, I'm consistantly adding to the stash. LOL I do still intend to build everything in it, though it's starting to get out of control.

Going back to your statement Motor about the 300 kits at XX$$, I totally agree with you. That is a lot of investment money sitting there in styrene. I think few people could finish that many kits in a lifetime. At my snail pace of 3-4 a year (hahahaha), it would take me 100 years to finish them. If I built 1 a month, only 25 years. Not a likely prospect and I always seem to focus on the kit-du-jour, rather than the stash.

MortarMagnet wrote:

I think most of the fellows here are family men.

I tend to agree with you Mortar.

I used to joke with my wife and tell her "I could start rebuilding another Muscle Car and start hitting the titty bars", but she just laughs at me. I don't even think we have any bars like that up here, at least not close enough to get to. I used to live the fast and stupid life, hanging out with a certain well known motorcycle club in titty bars back in CT. I also used to spend tons of money on rebuilding cars and racing. So my wife is glad that I (in her words) "grew up" and became a family man. She's all to happy to look over at 8pm and see me sitting with my son at the kitchen table helping him with his model kit. She also knows that I truely miss rebuilding and racing cars. So when I find a model kit that sparks my interest, she tries to get it for me, after all they're only about $10. Now she is helping me start the hobby shop. Guess it's a fair trade for my aging and busted up body, I end up with a loving family, a canoe, time to go fishing, and a few of my own businesses to run and keep somewhat occupied.

If I need to see perky titties, I ask Mama to stand on her head.

jhande wrote:

If I need to see perky titties, I ask Mama to stand on her head.

And if I need to see stars I'll show Mama that sentence!

Bgrigg wrote:

And if I need to see stars I'll show Mama that sentence!

Oh don't do that Bill.

But it was my wife who not so long ago and out of the blue told me - "If I was to ride on the back of a bike now, I'd get road rash on my nipples". 
And all this time I thought she didn't what me to get another one because of my dizzy spells.

Humm... Does my wife know I hang out here and post?