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An F-14 story

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  • Member since
    April 2003
  • From: Savannah, GA USA
An F-14 story
Posted by Bones-coa on Thursday, August 7, 2003 7:20 PM
Thought you guys would like this. Hope the length isn't an issue.

Below is an article written by Rick Reilly of Sports Illustrated. He details his experiences when given the opportunity to fly in a F-14 Tomcat.


"Now this message for America's most famous athletes:
Someday you may be invited to fly in the back-seat of one of your country's most powerful fighter jets. Many of you already have, John Elway,
John Stockton, Tiger Woods to name a few. If you get this opportunity let me urge you, with the greatest sincerity. Move to Guam. Change your name. Fake your own death! Whatever you do, do not go.

I know. The U.S. Navy invited me to try it. I was thrilled. I was pumped. I was toast! I should've known when they told me my pilot would be
Chip (Biff) King of Fighter Squadron 213 at Naval Air Station Oceana in Virginia Beach. Whatever you're thinking a Top Gun named Chip (Biff) King looks like triple it. He's about six-foot, tan, ice-blue eyes, wavy surfer hair finger-crippling handshake.....the kind of man who wrestles dyspeptic alligators in his leisure time. If you see this man, run the other way Fast.

Biff King was born to fly. His father, Jack King, was for years the voice of NASA missions. ("T-minus 15 seconds and counting ..." Remember?) Chip would charge neighborhood kids a quarter each to hear his dad. Jack would wake up from naps surrounded by nine-year-olds waiting for him to say, "We have a liftoff." Biff was to fly me in an F-14D Tomcat, a ridiculously powerful $60 million weapon with nearly as much thrust as weight, not unlike Colin Montgomerie. I was worried about getting airsick, so the night before the flight I asked Biff if there was something I should eat the next morning.
"Bananas," he said. "For the potassium?" I asked.
"No," Biff said, "because they taste about the same coming up as they do going down."

The next morning, out on the tarmac, I had on my flight suit with my name sewn over the left breast. (No call sign like Crash or Sticky or Leadfoot
but,still, very cool.) I carried my helmet in the crook of my arm, as Biff had instructed. If ever in my life I had a chance to nail Nicole Kidman, this was it.

A fighter pilot named Psycho gave me a safety briefing and then fastened me into my ejection seat, which, when employed, would "egress" me out of the plane at such a velocity that I would be immediately knocked unconscious.
Just as I was thinking about aborting the flight, the canopy closed over me, and Biff gave the ground crew a thumbs-up. In minutes we were firing nose up at 600 mph. We leveled out and then canopy-rolled over another F-14.

Those 20 minutes were the rush of my life. Unfortunately, the ride lasted 80. It was like being on the roller coaster at Six Flags Over Hell. Only without rails. We did barrel rolls, sap rolls, loops, yanks and banks. We dived, rose and dived again, sometimes with a vertical velocity of 10,000 feet per minute. We chased another F-14, and it chased us. We broke the speed of sound. Sea was sky and sky was sea. Flying at 200 feet we did 90-degree turns at 550 mph, creating a G force of 6.5, which is to say I felt as if 6.5 times my body weight was smashing against me, thereby approximating life as Mrs. Colin Montgomerie.

And I egressed the bananas. I egressed the pizza from the night before. And the lunch before that. I egressed a box of Milk Duds from the sixth grade. I made Linda Blair look polite. Because of the G's, I was egressing stuff that did not even want to be egressed. I went through not one airsick bag, but two.

Biff said I passed out. Twice. I was coated in sweat. At one point, as we were coming in upside down in a banked curve on a mock bombing target and the G's were flattening me like a tortilla and I was in and out of consciousness, I realized I was the first person in history to throw down.

I used to know cool. Cool was Elway throwing a touchdown pass, or Norman making a five-iron bite. But now I really know cool. Cool is guys like Biff, men with cast-iron stomachs and freon nerves. I wouldn't go up there again for Derek Jeter's black book, but I'm glad Biff does every day, and for less a year than a rookie reliever makes in a home stand. A week later, when the spins finally stopped, Biff called. He said he and the fighters had the perfect call sign for me. Said he'd send it on a patch for my flightsuit.

What is it? I asked.
"Two Bags."
Dana F On the bench: Tamiya DO335B-2 with LOTS of Aires stuff (On Hold) Trumpeter A-10 with LOTS and LOTS of aftermarket goodies! (On Hold) Tamiya 240ZG (In work)
  • Member since
    December 2002
  • From: Aaaaah.... Alpha Apaches... A beautiful thing!
Posted by Cobrahistorian on Thursday, August 7, 2003 7:31 PM
Wussy boy.
"1-6 is in hot"
  • Member since
    May 2003
  • From: Abbotsford, B.C. Canada
Posted by DrewH on Thursday, August 7, 2003 8:57 PM
Well that about sums up my first flight also. Mine was in a more subdued aircraft though. CT-114 Tutor jet. Things became alot easier on the second flight when I was at the controlls. Those yanks and banks were no problem after the first couple of weeks when you start to know the aircraft.

One rule to anyone that is offered this chance of a lifetime: DO IT!!!! Just don't drink any coffee a day or two before.
Take this plastic and model it!
  • Member since
    November 2005
Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, August 7, 2003 9:45 PM
Great story. Reminds me of watching the new pilots from school going out for their first carrier landings, and then watching them come back inside the ship shaking more than a Chihuahua after an all nighter at the Waffle House.

I have to respect those guys. I "trapped" on a carrier once, and that last turn coming into fianl approach pulped 3 guys on the flight, and that was only a 2.5. (No, I wasn't one of them)

demono69
  • Member since
    November 2005
Posted by Anonymous on Friday, August 8, 2003 9:21 AM
I'd love to get the chance to puke all over the backseat of an F-14! Though I probably wouldn't want to do it twice.
  • Member since
    December 2002
  • From: Oak Harbor, WA
Posted by Kolja94 on Friday, August 8, 2003 3:30 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by demono69
I "trapped" on a carrier once, and that last turn coming into fianl approach pulped 3 guys on the flight, and that was only a 2.5. (No, I wasn't one of them)

demono69


Was that on a COD? I have one trap in a COD and hope never to have another. One of the scariest things I've ever done. I much prefer the 160 I did facing forward, with a view outside, an eye on the airspeed and altimiter, an ear on the radio, and a yellow and black handle if all else failed.....

Karl

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