nc - No matter which game you choose, you can learn to fly quite easily. One of the most important items to invest in is a really good flight stick. The better (and more expensive) ones feel better in the hand, have fire buttons and other functions such as trim switches ("coolie hats") and buttons for other functions located more ergonomically than the cheaper ones. Also, the cheap ones definitely have a "cheap" feel to them with a lot of looseness around the center point, or "null" region. I fly with a Saitek X36, which has a seperate throttle control for the left hand, and oh my god, more buttons, modes, and settings than I can even use. Check it out on www.saitek.com .This particular HOTAS (hands on throttle and stick) will allow you to program any of the buttons to suit your particular settings, and there are downloads available for most of the popular sims. Get one at Best Buy, try it out, and return it if you don't like it (just remember what their return policy is).
Speaking of settings, one of the better ways to learn without frustration is to customize your settings within the game to allow continued flight after a crash. There is usually also a "cheat mode" that will give you unlimited fuel and ammo, and a "no kill" mode for shots against your own aircraft.
I know that some you really skilled simmers will load up on weapons and fuel to come after me for suggesting this, but right now that's my current skill level, as I don't have much time to sit and play. Besides, right now, I'm still learning my aircraft.
One more thing. Don't know what kind of system you're running, but some of them will really tax your system, resulting in jumpy screens and poor graphics. Make sure your system is capable of handling the sim. The minimum requirements are printed somewhere on the box, so you can check that before you buy it. And if you buy a sim whose minimum requirements are the max that your system has, you will be running the program at it's most primitive level, which never much fun
A magazine called Flight Journal does a review of sims and controllers every month, so you might try to find a few back issues to scope out what's out there. Pretty good rag otherwise also.
Simming is awesome, and though I don't get into online combat with others (I'm still on a dial-up connection), I can't wait to upgrade my computer and get in on the "action".
Hope this helps. Stinger