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Put a Tank into your Tiger. Part 2, the saga continues.

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  • Member since
    November 2005
Put a Tank into your Tiger. Part 2, the saga continues.
Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, February 5, 2004 3:31 PM
It has begun.

The dark days of sitting alone and staring at the box are over. I stood up and faced the behemoth which is my Italeri 1:35 Tiger E/H1. As the lid slid off the box, sucking the ouside air in with a satisfying sluuush, the pristine plastic and brass bits gazed up at me in sheer anticipation.

As I had already studied the intructions well enough to have earned a Phd, I started the construction. Starting on the lower hull, I elegantly removed the parts from their sprues, freeing them from a life of cruel inprisonment and being withheld from being bonded to the ones they're destined to be with for all of its life on the display cabinet shelf, happily growing old and gathering dust together. I feel good. Cheekily the parts nestle down leaving the odd gap, begging to be filled with putty and tickled with sand paper. A mild disaster strikes. I find myself in a desperate situation without putty! Thankfully, unlike modern popular music, worse things have happened, so I calmly ,and more importantly, collectedly moved my focus to the turret.

The turret is a land of intricate construction, filled with vast wastes of plastic, dotted with the odd monolith of brass, not unlike monument valley, but less likely to bio-degrade as quickly. The commanders cupola seemed like the best place to start, as it didn't need as much items I don't have at the moment. I must embark on a quest into the lands of the shoppe's and aquire the majestic spools of 0.2, 0.3 and 0.4mm wire from the realms beyond the gates of the hobby shop. I digress.. The cupola has a cluster of vision ports aranged around it, and the PE set included the interiour details of said vision ports. The size of the parts, which are huge if you're a mouse, and the intricateness just astounded me. I reeled to the fact that this was the most I'd ever spent on something not too dissimilair to drill shavings, and I was about to cut it up and paint it with superglue. This would require me to completely reset my brain. Thankfully that isn't rocket science.

After several hours of trudging carefully through the mine laden fields of teeny-weeny part assembly, I considered myself to be succesful in the assembly of what seemed to resemble the pictures I had seen once upon a time. And there was much rejoicing. So far I hadn't lost anything to the clutches of the tiny monkeys who leap out of the 7th dimension and steal the bit you were just working on and hide it under the sofa. The instructions called for some minor surgery of the kits bits, so, after carefully waving a knife at my own fingers and missing, I managed to slice off the offending items from the commanders hatch, the evilly molded on hatch levers. These parts were replaced by a threesome of merry brass parts and their stretched sprue sidekicks. The parts recovered well after the operation and are now on a diet of jelly and ice-cream until they can eat solids again..

..but it was far from over. I started on the hatch hinge, and vowed never to stop until all the PE bits were bent and glued into submission. That and when I needed the wire guages I don't have and the prospect of my girlfriend beating me to a mushy puree for not coming to bed at a normal hour. I removed more of Italeri's incorrectly placed plastic (but bless 'em..) in preperation for the attachment of the brass hinge. The first part went together lovely. For the hinge pin I inserted a length of what used to be one of those pins that are cunningly hidden in new shirts in the exact spot that would stab you either in your armpit, jugular or nipple. There it sat on my worktop. The light of my 70 watt bulb glinting playfully from its metallic metal surface. Proud of my creation I sat in awe of my own abilities. I was to be brought back down to the levels of mere mortals, when I attempted to use the PE sets hinge links. These proved to be slippery little rascals being too short and totally uncooperative. After I slowly started to loose my cool and suave je n'sez quois, the rift in space and time that we all know and fear started to slowly tear open. Light poured out of it like moviegoers from a britney spears movie. Anything smaller than the head of a flea and made of brass or plastic started to swirl around. The debris swirled faster and faster and I tried to desperatly cling on to all the irreplacable bits, but it was to no avail, one of the hinge links was taken. Brutally ripped from my bossom, it was gone. Lost forever floating out in the wastes of unused time and space along with Fergal Sharkey's career and William Shatners real hair. Its out there now, alone, cold, afraid. Its so tiny and defenceless.. At least its got janet Jacksons underwear to talk to, though. I was devastated. Destrought I peered through my tear soaked eyes for a solution. And there it was. A light shon through the darkness like a beakon. I realized I could use a small section of the PE sprue as new links. So be it. It turns out I shouldn't have bothered, as this turned out to be a much better and more workable solution. Hurrah! I assembled the hinge and attached it to the cupola and its friend, the hatch. Lo and behold, the hinge actually works!

And there was much rejoicing.

I decided to call it a night. Which was quite apt, as it was dark outside and everything. I was tired and considered I should quit while I was ahead. That and I needed those wires again to continue.

The saga will continue soon..

Here are the promissed images..

External shot of turret roof, tastefully decorated with the latest in PE fashion.


Similair, but with the hatch open.. Note the vision ports cheekily peeking through the hatch opening.


Join us as we take a look inside the turret cupola.


Part 2

And the saga continues.

My quest to find wire was succesful. I had ventured deeply into the depths of the hobby shop that doesn't sell kits, fighting the hordes of blue rinse macrame demons and tree hugging pottery goblins. With three different guages of wire and three tubes of oil paint in on hand, a green goo coated sword in the other, I emerged triumphantly. It was a long and terrible battle, but all is fair in love and modelling..

I did, however, completely forget to get putty...

On arriving back at the lair I continued with the ongoing struggle which is the Tiger. It would be a short battle due to to my excellent strategic insight to conserve my troops for a larger assault. Also because I had promissed my girlfriend to spend some time with her.. It was time to face the smallest piano-hinges since the beginning of time itself. These are small hinges. Think Bush re-election chances small, but maybe double that. After fumbling around with the tiny parts as if they were wet fish and I had vaseline gloves on, I finally realized that this would only work if I were cunning. I acted nonchalantly and snuck up on them when they weren't looking. I got them completely by surprise and managed to wrestle them onto some sticky tape. Hah! They didn't see that one coming! I had pre bent the hinges and laid a length of 0.3mm wire in the teeth. After reading them a story, I tucked them in making sure they were nice and warm and gently moved them to the mudguards. They looked so peaceful, I had to wipe away a tear.

On that note I called the retreat. I pulled the troops back to the confines of their cardboad barracks that lie in the grounds just past the sofa. The short but succesful skirmish resulted in a nice pair of mudguards with working hinges. The dings, dents and imperfections which are hallmark for my incompetence work nicely as shortcomings in German army parallel parking training. Happy with the result, I put everything aside for the evening and turned my attention to my girlfriend, who was sharpening her favorite knife and checking the clock.

Pics to follow..
  • Member since
    June 2003
Posted by M1abramsRules on Thursday, February 5, 2004 3:39 PM
you come up with quite the stories and posts michael.

first all those laws of modeling, and now this.

LOL that is good though Wink [;)]
  • Member since
    December 2002
  • From: United Kingdom / Belgium
Posted by djmodels1999 on Thursday, February 5, 2004 3:59 PM
Nice to see you enjoying the hobby so much! Excellent writing too!
  • Member since
    February 2003
  • From: Indiana, USA
Posted by cassibill on Thursday, February 5, 2004 4:04 PM
LOLLOL If we all loony you are our king!!!

cdw My life flashes before my eyes and it mostly my life flashing before my eyes!!!Big Smile The 1/144 scale census and message board: http://144scalelist.freewebpage.org/index.html

  • Member since
    November 2005
Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, February 5, 2004 4:10 PM
Thanks for the kind words peeps.. I figured I could either share my progress with a rather grey, monotonous (more 'o's in that than there are in 'mississippi!) 'ItookpartAandgluedittopartBandwhilethatwasdryingIgluedpartCtoD..', or get all lyrical and jazz it up a bit. Who said we had to be as boring as people think we are?

We know better, eh? Wink [;)]
  • Member since
    November 2005
Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, February 5, 2004 4:54 PM
Great novel
lol
  • Member since
    July 2003
  • From: Philippines
Posted by Dwight Ta-ala on Thursday, February 5, 2004 5:27 PM
LOL. I though I was at the wrong forum.

  • Member since
    April 2003
  • From: Central Wisconsin
Posted by Spamicus on Thursday, February 5, 2004 5:47 PM
Sounds like the agony and the ecstacy of modeling. Give us more!

Steve

  • Member since
    March 2003
  • From: Rain USA, Vancouver WA
Posted by tigerman on Thursday, February 5, 2004 5:52 PM
Quite a narrative so far Michael, keep us posted.

   http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y269/wing_nut_5o/PANZERJAGERGB.jpg

 Eric 

  • Member since
    November 2005
Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, February 5, 2004 6:16 PM
Very nice story....

Definately need some pics to go along with it!
  • Member since
    April 2014
Posted by r13b20 on Thursday, February 5, 2004 6:46 PM
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
thats great, but where is the evil cat in this story? I needed that michael!
  • Member since
    January 2003
Posted by shermanfreak on Thursday, February 5, 2004 7:34 PM
Quite the yarn you have weaved Michael.
If you ever need a career change, think about writing for Harlequin Romances.
Happy Modelling and God Bless Robert
  • Member since
    May 2003
  • From: USA, GA
Posted by erush on Thursday, February 5, 2004 10:00 PM
Michael's waxing rapsodical on us and I didn't have a singel tissue handy... * sniff * * sniff *

That's definitely a new way to tell us you assembled the hull, stopped because you were out of putty and started on the turret, only to become the latest victim of "tweezerpult" while working on the p/e hatch hinges! Wink [;)] Big Smile [:D] (that's also a translation for those who have no clue what he said Tongue [:P] ) Laugh [(-D] Laugh [(-D]

Ok, we want pics in this novel Michael (i can read them!! lol)

Eric
Hi, I'm Eric and I'm a Modelholic too. I think I have PE poisioning.     "Friendly fire...isn't"
  • Member since
    March 2003
  • From: Northeast Washington State
Posted by JCon on Thursday, February 5, 2004 10:24 PM
Ah, the thrill of victory! Keep up the good work, Joe
Happy Modeling, Joe Favorite Quote: It's what you learn after you know it all that counts!
  • Member since
    July 2003
  • From: Dahlonega, Georgia
Posted by lizardqing on Thursday, February 5, 2004 11:07 PM
Very entertaining MIcheal, at least for those of us not building it anyway. Your stories are as entertaing as your builds. Keep em coming.
  • Member since
    March 2003
  • From: Newport News VA
Posted by Buddho on Friday, February 6, 2004 12:28 AM
Excellent yarn you're spinning, Mike!

I can't wait for chapter 2!

Regards, Dan

  • Member since
    November 2005
Posted by Anonymous on Friday, February 6, 2004 4:02 AM
He he... Funny stuff. That cupola looks awsome... Bring us more....

  • Member since
    February 2003
  • From: Tochigi, Japan
Posted by J-Hulk on Friday, February 6, 2004 4:06 AM
Excellent writing, Michael!
So...what are you building?



Jus' kiddin'!
The periscope madness inside the cupola looks great! And maddening!
Looking forward to more prose and plastic!
~Brian
  • Member since
    May 2003
  • From: Upstate NY
Posted by Build22 on Friday, February 6, 2004 6:22 AM


Michaelvk - so, I'm guessing you have a deep interest in modeling ?


Lots of detail there - Looks good


Jim [IMG]
  • Member since
    November 2005
Posted by Anonymous on Friday, February 6, 2004 8:13 AM
Prose and plastic are both great Michael, keep 'em coming. Smile [:)]
  • Member since
    November 2005
Posted by Anonymous on Friday, February 6, 2004 9:48 AM
Finally some pics......

Looking good!
  • Member since
    June 2003
  • From: Cavite, Philippines
Posted by allan on Friday, February 6, 2004 9:52 AM
LMAO! Very amusing, Michael. I especially liked the part about William Shatner's hair. LOL!

So I guess this would be the first episode of the trilogy "Lord of the Turret Rings?"

Btw, great work so far!

No bucks, no Buck Rogers

  • Member since
    November 2005
Posted by Anonymous on Friday, February 6, 2004 9:57 AM
hahaha u're funny!

nice details! ur work makes me wanna glue my armor's hatches down so nobody can see what's inside....(which is nothing).
  • Member since
    November 2005
Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, February 12, 2004 6:29 AM
Don't you just hate waiting for things? Especially things you really, really want to play with. I ordered a Jordi Rubio barrel from my newest bestest friends at Mol modelbouw, and they said they had posted it. I'm sure they did, because they're beautiful people, man. On the other hand, I have as much faith in the postal service as in a Tuareg in a snowman building competition. I sit at the window day after day waiting for my postman to show up on his little moped, but alas. Maybe it'll be there this afternoon, maybe tomorrow, maybe the evil demons that lurk in the bottom of the postmans bag have stolen it to be raised as one of their own, eaten or hung over the mantlepiece. In the meantime I'm in agony, but maybe I shouldn't lean on the radiator in front of the window, though.. I want my turned aluminium barrel! The plastic Italeri thing is as much use as a bar of wooden soap!

The progress on my not-quite-as-little-but-bigger-than-braille Tiger is slow. I'm tossing around diorama idea's.. Whether or not to use the Tamiya engine repair crew? Shall I have it parked in Italy or Tunisia? Dare I add the Italeri church door and window. What additional vehicles do I add? Should I put ham or beef in the macaroni tonight? Will South Africa ever win the rugby wold championship? These are all terribly difficult choices for my tiny little mind. One thing is for sure. I need one of those big magnifier thinggies. If I were any closer to my worktop I'd be veneer.

Still no putty.. Drat.. No updated pics either.. I am ashamed.
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