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Mr Phroosh:
As you may or may not know, The Potsdam Conferences created my organization, The New York German Armor Task Force, giving it worldwide jurisdiction. We deal with all matters concerning criminal acts involving German Armor.
It has come to my attention that you have been victimized by such an act. Due to budgetory constraints, we can not investigate this petty crime in person, however we do demand that you forward all evidence to us for inspection. We will inspect said evidence, including painstaking assembly, so as to bring this criminal to justice. After our lengthy investigation, we will return remaining evidence at your expense.
Failure to comply will result with in my forwarding this information to our enforcement group leader, Lance-Corporal Michealvk of the Somewhere Near The Hague (SNTH).
Our budget is currently committed to our upcoming investigation of the Great Barrier Reef. I have long suspected towards the war's end, Germany had placed an entire Heavy Panzer Division in plastic bags and sunk them for future use. If you have any information regarding this, please forward.
-Sgt Ausf, NYGATF.
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