Item: Yes, the lead did cause deterioration of your enamel paint. Lead is a very chemically active metal.
Item: Lead and many lead compounds (particularly "white lead," the common corrosion product found on lead that has been stored in less than dry conditions) are extremely toxic. However, it is the corrosion products that are most soluble and most readily absorbed through the skin. Properly done, reloading and casting should not raise your exposure to lead significantly. Exposure to aerosolized lead, such as at a poorly ventilated indoor range, however, will.
Children, infants, and small animals are particularly vulnerable to heavy metal poisoning.
Item: Stainless steel is the only metal you should use as an aggitator ball in paint. The copper on BBs will also react with some paint components, as copper is only slightly less reactive than lead.