WTF Primer?!

You may be right about that, but of the ones I can get my hands on, its the best.  Its the one that has given me the thinnest, cleanest, and most consistent coat of primer yet.

You can't say it's the best 'til you've tried every single one.  Have you tries Mr' Surfacer 1200.  Very good stuff.  But Huge bang for the buck is Krylon primer for plastic. My 2 favs for the rare occasion I prime.

I boycott Walmart, and Tamiya Fine Spray is the best primer out there

Maybe use a different paint as a primer?   I know that many use generic auto-use spraybombs bought at WalMart for priming.   I don't usually prime all-over anymore myself, I've started to do selective shading instead.