There is no right or wrong with panel lines. From what I have seen, real planes range from zero visible panel lines to zebra stripes, and everything in between. At the end of the day, every modeler has complete artistic license to do whatever looks good to them.
Imo the visibility of the panel lines and panel edge shading should match the overall age and condition of the plane. I see examples where the plane has an immaculate shiny factory fresh finish, but prominent panel lines with heavy preshading that practically scream at you. I'm wondering how did all that get there before the plane has even flown a single mission. Or maybe the ground crew painstakingly clean, polish, and buff every surface except the panel lines and edges? The washing and preshading are amazingly done, but just don't look real to me. But that's the nature of artistic license. You can't please everybody, so you might as well please yourself.
My personal technique is to do panel lines and rivets with a simple acrylic wash. I use raw umber for light base colors, and dark grey or black for darker base colors. I have also seen panel lines and rivets that look white or silver against a dark base coat, I guess from frequent handling wearing the base coat away. This is usually seen on fuel tank filling covers, weapons access bays, and the like.
Once the panel lines and rivet washes are complete, I prefer post shading with dark gray Tamiya acrylic heavily thinned with iPA. It mixes and shoots very well from my Badger 105. And I have complete control, from barely visible to very dark. And if I overdo it, it is pretty forgiving and easy to tone down. This same technique is also useful for exhaust stains, gunpowder soot stains, oil smudges, etc.
For me, the main challenge is to match the panel lines and post shading to the overall wear and tear I am trying to depict.