Curt - I know exactly what you are talking about... I recently did a N. Africa Martlet Mk.IV and it looked like a neon sign! (middlestone uppers and light grey lowers.. similar colors to the desert orange/light blue you are talking about)
What I did on the uppers is use a VERY thin coat of the main color (as in around 85% thinner or so, the rest paint... and I lightly misted it from about 8 inches or so at a med pressure. I did this on the sides too as this helped blend the demarcation line of the upper and lower colors... I didn't do it on the bottom.
THEN - as crockett and andy said, I used pastel chalk, in this case a kind of ochre color with a bit of brown chalk mixed in (trying to simulate the sand in N Africa which is a yellowish to brown color) I dusted over the whole model including the bottom. Once sealed with sealer it didn't show all over the model but tended to show on the higher panel lines where the dust would collect... after the future cured I did a little washing here and there to simulate oil stains and accent the panel lines.
Finally for the chalks, most art stores carry packs of "earth tone" pastel chalks... just grind the right colors up (in this case the dull yellow and reddish brown ones, less of the brown) and with a wide soft brush brush them over the model and panel lines, more emphasis on the leading edges of the wing and cowl...
Good luck to you!! You're right, it kind of looks like a toy when it such contrasting colors with no wear... Oh and I agree with Andy, an understatement is much better than overstating the wear... go little by little till it looks right to you...