Feel like giving up?

dahut wrote:

"Rock Gyms?" What the...... when did THAT happen??

wingform84 wrote:

I'm in such a funk, I have around 500 kits, I'm not quite sure even though I do keep an excel spreadsheet (so I don't accidentally double) and do have doubles of some of the stock car ones just so I could use diff decals.  Anyway most of the time I look at them, as they're EVERYWHERE in my house and just like.. Oh I feel like building one.. but then I never do...

wow. thanks guys. i feel better just reading these 4 pages of comments. my model area is in the basement but i also have a table in my study near windoes and my one remaining parakeet. his cage mate died last week but he checked out fine at the vets. i do contract technical illustration using computers and all my contarcts got suspened the end of may. i think i am more sad about not having any work even though i made 80% of my annual goal the first 5 months. anyway i have less than 200 in my stash (quite the piker, eh?). i have bought 24 kits in the last 3 months, all at garage sales and lhs sales. offers just too good to pass up. i have 10 models in various stages of construction because i am in a PAINTING SLUMP. just learning to airbrush (aztek 470 and usually poly s or tamiya acrylics) and my brush painting isn't what it used to be. i enjoy the building, seam filling, sanding, and weathering. i find it very relaxing but i don't want to start any more until i finish what i have. monday i went to my wood ship work bench and continued my CONSTITUTION cross-section. some of the pieces aren't very good so i am redoing them in walnut with my unimat.

i think part of my problem is having too many interests being alone in the house all day; computer strategy games, reading, model building, websurfing news. i think i need to find a place i can go and work on one thing. pack the box with all i need for working on a model or take the laptop up to the library (once i replace the 6 year old one). go someplace where all i have to do is what i brought. my shipbuilding club (all wood except for 2 of us) also has a group of us that get together once a month to do just that. actually i can finish the at guns since it is crew painting and building small dios.

and probably i am feeling a bit sorry for myself right now. this topic and all the answers really helped. sorry for the long winded response. i tend to be verbose. I WILL NOT SELL MY STASH though i will sell some doubles to friends in my IPMS club.

On a tangential note, I have to say that I find your (and others') "video signature" there extremely distracting and annoying; it's hard to even read your posts with that dustracting business going on underneath it.

Ditto here... Can't stand animated siggys bigger than a smiley... I've also seen that one on the net elsewhere without "Vader" helmet. It's a .gif of a mentaly retarded girl and is in poor taste, IMHO...

MountainDew wrote:

the doog wrote: Please do seek some help; if you are bipolar, that definitely needs medicine. Not necessarily. My last cruise with the Navy the XO sent me to a shrink because I was a little moody. Doc jumped on the bipolar wagon and gave me some pills. I slept 16 hours a day, had no sex drive, gained 25lbs, and was depressed as hell. Quit the pills, changed jobs and was fine. I think in todays society there is pressure to conform to a standard called "normal" and those that don't are given pills and a label.

I took them for 2.5 months--just long enough to come out of the hole, and then I immediately stopped them as soon as I said "OK, I can function now". The thing is, some Depression is indeed bio-chemical--your brain literally gets chemically off-kilter, like an engine that's been given watered-down gas; it doesn't run correctly until the card is cleaned out--and you have to reset the chemical output of it. Sometimes, the only way to do that is to stabilize it with added chemicals which are natural to the brain anyway. It's like sustaining a serious wound--some you can heal from, some require medical care, and patching up.

This is how snti-depression meds work, from what I understand. In my case, I KNEW that I had a problem after a very traumatic break-up, and KNEW that there was no way I was going to kick it without getting some help. I recommend that people research a little, and know when a depression is serious enough to require outside assistance. Don't just reach for apill to solve life's problems, or as a substitute for a little self-discipline. But don't be too proud to admit that you need help if you're in danger of being a danger to yourself.

the doog wrote:

Please do seek some help; if you are bipolar, that definitely needs medicine.

Not necessarily. My last cruise with the Navy the XO sent me to a shrink because I was a little moody. Doc jumped on the bipolar wagon and gave me some pills. I slept 16 hours a day, had no sex drive, gained 25lbs, and was depressed as hell. Quit the pills, changed jobs and was fine. I think in todays society there is pressure to conform to a standard called "normal" and those that don't are given pills and a label.

Truth is I was just bored and needed a change. Yeah, it's not "normal" to change jobs, cities, countries, on a regular basis. The "normal" thing to do is to go to college, start a career, settle down, have 2.5 kids, retire and die. That's not me.

I've had so many jobs, been to so many different countries, it's not normal. Luckily I know it and don't shoot myself in the foot with long term commitments. Longest I've ever comitted to anything was a 2 year hitch in the USCG. After 6 months in I was bored and counting the days until I could move on. I was on the Polar Sea. Sailed to the Artic and Antarctic. Struck EM,made EM2. Cutterman qualified, Aux watch qualified. Wasn't enough to keep me interested.

Liked the sea so I went with the Navy as a civilian sailor. That was fun but got bored with that too. Was a sheriffs deputy for a while in Oklahoma, got bored with that and went to Columbia, Thailand, and Mongolia to teach EFL.

Bombed around in the Boilermakers and Ironworkers to learn welding and travel.

Now I weld aircraft parts and I'm getting bored with that. Going to college, that's keeping my interest because I only have to focus on a subject for a semester at a time. Plus there's so many different classes to take. Chances are good that it will take me forever to get a degree in something because my interests vary so much. Last semester I took a bunch of classes in entomology. Watched a documentary on bugs, sparked my interest, took some classes. Now I know enough to satisfy my curiosity and I've moved on. Taking some aerospace classes now.

Only thing that has captured my attention long term has been modeling, climbing, and WW2 history. Go figure.

I've been on all 7 continents, both poles, fluent in 3 languages, conversant in 5 others, done a lot. Done 5 of the 7 summits. Learned to scuba dive. Took flying lessons for 6 months before I got bored. However my interest is picking up so I may go back to get my private pilots license. I've lived in nice houses in suburbia and been homeless. Had money, and been flat broke. All over the road is how you could describe my life.

I'm not even 30 yet.

Yeah, there's probably something wrong in my head. Surely if I gave a shrink enough time he could fix it. The thought of that terrifies me. Honestly. I've had so many wonderful and awful experiences in my life that I treasure. What if all of a sudden I was "cured" and I focused in school, kept a job longterm, stopped traveling, and just became "normal". I'd hate it.

I'm interested to see what the next 30 years of my life bring. Where will I go? What will I experience? How will I live? I like not having attachments and not feeling trapped. If the opportunity came along for me to (climb K2, sail around the world, trek across Tibet, take your pick) tomorrow I'd pack up and go without thinking twice about it. I like that spontaneity.

The point of this post is that you need to evaluate yor life. Is there really something wrong with you? Or do you not fit the mold of "normal" and feel badly about it? As long as you're not doing anything self destructive (cutting, self medicating, attempting suicide) you're probably ok. Remember there is a difference between being irresponsible and being self destructive. I'm mostly the former. I say mostly because I went to Tanzania during a HAT (Human African Trypansomiasis) epidemic, got sick, was evacuated to Germany, and almost died. Yes I knew before hand but I was too stubborn to cancel my trip. That probably ventured into the gray area between irresponsible and self destructive.

Evaluate your life man. Nobody can make decisions for you. All we can do is relate our own experiences. You have to decide which path you want to walk down. 

One thing I do urge you to do is seize life. Do something great at least once in your life. Have at least one moment where you can look back on it and say "f**k yeah, I did that".

My next "big trip" is an overland convoy in an ex-Soviet army truck. Lasts 8 months. Start in Moscow and winds it's way through Kyrzgstan, Uzbeistan, Tajikstan, and on to the far east Russan coast to Magadan. Cost's $15,000. When I come back I won't have a job, money, or a place to live. Yet I don't care. I'm still going to go. For me it's the experience. A "normal" person would probably evaluate the risks, costs, and benefits and decide against it. Should have the money saved up this year.

Make a life list. Things you want to do, experience. Things that are important to you. Then work towards them.

the doog wrote:

Please do seek some help; if you are bipolar, that definitely needs medicine. You should check if you qualify for any public assistance? Or Medicare? Medicaid? Whatever that's called. In any case, I'm sure your parents would listen if they thought you would ever be suicidal? Don't underestimate them; talk to them--at least you can say you tried? By the way, it's "sedentary", not "sedementary"

If you stay sedentary long enough you become sedimentary!

Please do seek some help; if you are bipolar, that definitely needs medicine. You should check if you qualify for any public assistance? Or Medicare? Medicaid? Whatever that's called.

In any case, I'm sure your parents would listen if they thought you would ever be suicidal? Don't underestimate them; talk to them--at least you can say you tried?

By the way, it's "sedentary", not "sedementary"

It's not so much that'd be ashamed to say I went to a doctor for that, and I surely wouldn't be unique in my family for it (one aunt was so depressed she killed herself and another is taking medicine for I think bipolar, I'm not sure but its one of those mood leveling drugs) it's more of a not being able to.  Yeah I could physically call a doctor and go but I just don't have the money, and I definately don't have insurance to help cover it.  My job's one of those that doesn't pay for insurance, and the insurance they offer their part time people is a super rip-off, I'd end up paying more than half of my check for the mess, and its not good coverage. 

As far as being overweight, I have been since 4th grade, but it's not because of depression.  For my bday when I was in 3rd grade I got a NES, and well during that summer, I stayed in and played the whole time so I naturally gained weight from being so sedimentary and it just stayed that way as I got older.  Generally when I don't have a job, I end up gaining beause once agian I'm sedementary, but I've already lost a little weight just working this job, being on my feet and having to walk/bend/lift stuff.  Oh really it'd probably be easy for me to loose weight, I don't eat that bad and all that, its more of a I don't really have the drive to.  I tried joining a gym back in 2007 and I went a lot for a while, because at the time my job was cutting my hours and I had nothing else to do, but after a while when I had to change when I went I started feeling.. outta place cuz here I am this fairly tall large guy with long curly hair .. and everyone else was taller, giantly muscled, and either bald or really short hair .. kinda made me uncomfortable.

Anyway all that being said, if I really think about it I'd probably be closer to bi-polar.  Because one time I'll start a kit/read somthing/watch somthing/hang out with a friend and be enjoying it and then suddenly for some reason it's not fun anymore, and usually its either no reason I know of or a very small thing.  Eh, well maybe our family doctor would work out some kinda payment plan or somthing.. I dunno I'll have to check into it another day (cuz its late now)

I have handled some cases involving depression.  The persons at issue were all no longer depressed, if you catch my drift.  This can be a very serious issue, even with the help you are reluctant to get.

Some people need professional assistance with this issue.  Read what you wrote, you KNOW you need help with this.  If you had unrelenting pain in your abdomen, you'd be an idiot not to see a doctor.  Don't fall for any stigma, shame, not normal BS, get some help.  IF you have any reservations about what others will think, it's simple, DON'T TELL ANYONE.  But there's nothing at all to be ashamed of.

Please get some help.

Bill

wingform84 wrote:

And honestly, if I did go to a doctor they probably would call me clincally depressed.  I can't talk to my parents about it though.  They always say I can talk to them about stuff but every time I do their cure isn't a "normal" one like go see a doctor or go make friends its.. go to church...

This is wreaking hell on your body right now as well--weight gain can happen during periods of depression and high stress form the body releasing cortisol. If you're already slightly over your ideal weight, you need to address the cause of your depression before you can work on the cure--conseling might help--but in the meantime, if you're so depressed that you can admit that it's sapping your enthusiam and love for life, then you need to do something more than just "woe is me" about it.

Please take it seriously. I've been there, and I can telll you there is definitely a way out of that hole-sometimes it does take medication.

Yeah, a lot of it was more about the "finding a deal" on kits, especially on eBay and then when HL would have them on sale but really the last few times I've been to the HL or the other LHS I havn't bought any kits, only supplies like a new hobby knife cuz my old one died tragically.  I do tend to look at them but it seems to be the same old same old, nothing new or exciting or somthing I don't already have.  As far as taking long on a kit, I think the longest one took me to finish was probably my Voyager kit, which only took a week or so, the rest I ususally get together in a couple of days.  I do think that's part of it too though, in a way it's lost its challenge.  I was that way in school too, as long as somthing to learn was challenging I enjoyed it, but once I was ahead of the class I got bored and would stop caring about it. 

And honestly, if I did go to a doctor they probably would call me clincally depressed.  I can't talk to my parents about it though.  They always say I can talk to them about stuff but every time I do their cure isn't a "normal" one like go see a doctor or go make friends its.. go to church... no offence to anyone who does go to church but I went for 20 yrs of my life, and it never made me feel super happy, in fact most of the time I felt guilt cuz I wasn't living up to this "good christian" standard that they always seem to preach.   

The bowling league is actually a sugestion I might look into.  We have a few alley's around here and I enjoy bowling, I just need to get better at it cuz I never get to go.   I've tried looking into hobby groups around here, someone mentioned earlier in this thread some big national club, but the closest meeting spot is like 1 1/2 hrs from me and thats really too far for me to go regularly.  

Partially I just have no motivation/lack of encouaragement.  Most of my family and friends either think its a waste of time or don't care either way, so its like oh you finished another one, thats nice.  If you look in the "Truck show" thread under auto you'll see this past week I did a Peterbilt/Lowboy/Cat D8 combo and enjoyed it, but I had a reason behind it too, I was tryin to make my dad feel better because his mom died last monday  (the 12th). I think it actually worked though, at least that was one he seemed to like.  

I really don't get out much, I used to have more friends but well after high school most of them either moved away or got new friends, so now I do pretty much work or be at home doing somthing by myself.

And yeah I know, it was distracting I was kinda like yay I made a good gif that doesn't look completely horrible.. and then I was tired of it after a few days but didn't bother to change it til now

I believe that your problem is that you've gone from the satisfaction of building and finishing a kit to the quick "rush" of acquiring a kit--you have "shopper's syndrome". 

You've traded the reward of a diligent, dedicated long term satisfaction for the quick "hit"/instant gratification of the "purchase".

This is, seriously, a medically-documented fact, and mayhave its roots in a chemical imbalance. It is often a reaction to stress. The impulse originates in the same part of the brain that controls addictions. In the saem way that a  dope addict needs that :hit" from their poison, your brain has learned to soothe itself with the colllecting of kits--but you have sacrificed the urge to actually build, becasue it's easier for your brain to get the "high" by simply purchasing.

You should look at OTHER ISSUES in your life--I would wager that you have some other issues in your life that may be driving this symptom of something significance? Your admitted loneliness? Tyr to get out more--join a bowling league, a modeling group at your local hobby store?You can't meet people if your nose is stuck in a manga book or in a video game at home.

You might also think of some anti-depression therapy? When you lose your interest in your hobies, it's a #1 indicator of serious depression, and a signal that something more needs to be done. Been there, got the T-short, Take it seriously. Talk to your parents.

 On a tangential note, I have to say that I find your (and others') "video signature" there extremely distracting and annoying; it's hard to even read your posts with that dustracting business going on underneath it.

wingform84 wrote:

I end up making anywhere between $300 and $500 a month, it varies month to month though.

If you want a job that pays well and there is no experience required check out the Boilermakers Union. It's construction. I did it for years. Depending on your Local you'll make between $18 and $32 an hour as an apprentice. The apprentice website is http://www.bnap.com/. The apprentice program is great! You start out at 70% of what the Local payrate is with no experience and work your way up. It's a 4 year program to become a Journeyman Boilermaker. They send you to school, take night classes at your Local, work on jobsites doing all kinds of stuff. When you move up into your second year you can start to travel. Work in different Locals all over the country at oil refineries, power plants, nuclear facilities, steam plants, shipyards, etc. You'll do things like crane rigging, welding (the welding school they send you to in Kansas is awesome!!!), cutting, fitting, mechanics. You can work around 8 months a year and make a very comfortable living. Plus the skills you learn get you jobs outside the union. I'm a damn good TIG welder and now I weld aircraft parts for $25/hour to pay for school. Looks like Local 108 in Birmingham might be the one closest to you. http://www.boilermakerslocal108.com/?category_id=19

There's also the Ironworkers Union. Local 92 is also in Birmingham. They're a fun crowd to work with. For a while I held 2 books and was also in the Ironworkers Union. If you don't mind heights this is a great job just for the comraderie. The Ironworkers are real party animals. We used to work a 6am to 6pm shift, go to a strip club and shut it down at 2am, sleep for an hour, take a shower, choke down some IHOP, and go back to work for another 12 hours. Did a schedule like that for weeks at a time. Lots of coffee and no-doze. Great group of guys, except it's almost required you have a criminal record to be a Journeyman Ironworker. Ironworkers are the guys that walk the iron and bolt/weld the framework of a skyscraper together.

There are opportunities out there. I urge you to check them out. You'll lose weight in either of those jobs without hittng the gym. They get physical. They're also both a lot of fun.

Hans - That might would be part of it, if people knew I lived at home with my parents.  The last few people I dated knew I did, but they lived with their own so it definately wasn't a problem, and its not like it exactly comes up with other people.

The main reason I do still live at home is much like MountainDew said, I just don't have the cash to move out.  While I'm not a college student (tried and failed, was going for computer programing, the math class kicked my *** cuz I suck at math) I do live in a major college city, in fact they say (dunno if its true) that its one of the biggest colleges in the country, so all the appartments are well more expensive.  I even did a little search again just now and the cheapest I could find for one that isn't in a crime-filled neighborhood is $360 a month, and that doesn't include utilities, and with the job I have I could never afford that.  I end up making anywhere between $300 and $500 a month, it varies month to month though.  

dahut - Yeah, I know, girls want someone that can provide for them, yet they'll turn around and when you want to help/provide/protect they act like they're mad and can do it themselves XD I can definately understand where your son in laws ex is coming from though.  Which, I'm not just sitting and doing nothing, with this job I have now I'm actually trying to make a career out of it.  Yeah I know the low end I'm at right now doesn't pay the best, but I've already been semi-promoted one time and I've only worked there for 3 months.  It's a big national company and as long as they don't start laying people off I think I can make a living here, even if it won't be until I get promoted.  Everyone thinks I do really good though and the way they talk it probably won't be TOO long until I am.  

 Part of the problem though is I don't even get to the DATE part of it, hell I don't even get to the hello part most of the time, I'm a shy person.  But a lot of the time people do tend to judge based on appearances.  It's not that I look bad, or dress bad, or even have an ugly car (I have more ppl admire my car than me haha).  Normally I wear a t-shirt and jeans or shorts but that's the norm for this town.  I'm comfortable with me.  Some people have said (I don't think here, but other places) that to find someone who will love you how you are, you have to like yourself first.  That's the thing though, I do.  Yeah sure I could stand to loose some weight, but other than that I like my hair, I like the way I dress, I love my car, I enjoy my interests, and I'm generally happy with myself.  I just want someone to come home to other than myself or my parents.  I'm more than willing to move out of here but I definately need a roomate or a girl to move in with and I don't trust my friends enough and its damn hard to find someone who isn't wooo party! around here -_-;  

Also the fact that really I'm not around people much.  I pretty much I'm either at home or at work, and because of what I do I pretty much only see my co-workers every day.  There are customers in some stores, because sometimes we do inventory while the stores are open but its not like I can just walk up and talk to them.  

Generally speaking, I have the things that most females claim to want: someone that'll be there, care for them, love them, treat them right, etc.. most of my friends (which are mostly girls lol) say I'm so sweet and kind and caring. 

They say that when they are on a date, or just idly talking when nothing is at stake. It isn't that they dont mean it, they do. But they are conflicted, too.

I don't have all the things that get you noticed, I don't have a fast car (at least not a real one lol), I don't have fancy clothes, I don't have a lot of money, I live at home with my parents, I'm not mr athlete, I'm just me but somehow that's unacceptable. 

I've been through this recently with my step son. Same story - his GF dumped him. She worked and got a degree, a job and was waiting for him to do something, anything, with his life. She soon tired of that and moved on, after several years of trying to accomodate him. Can you blame her?

SO what does he do? He goes to carrying on that "she can't love me for me." NOT true - she could've and would've and even gave it a valiant try for a long time.

But women are security minded and they want a man to be a MAN. "To beat back the lions and bring home the bacon,"... you know, all that caveman stuff. Don't kid yourself into believing that isn't so just because it is convenient for you to think it.

To woo the girl (any girl) you have to courageously step up to the plate and risk striking out. You gotta be noticed, you have to DO something visible. Otherwise you are invisible, doomed to complaining that you are misunderstood. That's the worst thing you can do, from the womans point of view.

SO chin up, mate. Go get you some new clothes that fit, a haircut and get out there. As my mom used to say, "To get customers, you need a decent product  - and then advertise it."

Living at home with parents isn't always a bad thing. If I lived closer to my mom I'd probably rent her above garage apartment and live there. If he's going to college (like I am) then tuition costs can heve a serious effect on your budget. Especially if you have your typical college student job flipping burgers for $8/hour. I tig weld aircraft parts so I do a little better. Still when you have rent, utilities, insurance, tuition, and all that jazz it can be hard to make ends meet as a student.

When I was ironworking and boilermaking I didn't have my own place for years. I was living out of my Toyota and in cheap motels going from one job to the next. It wasn't reasonable to rent an apartment for and never see it. Cheap weekly rate motels were the answer there. I used my moms address for mail and stayed there when I wasn't working. I'd work roughly 40 weeks a year, take some trips in the summer. Mostly stayed there Thanksgiving and Christmas.

For a while I was a ships electrician. Worked on Carnival cruise lines until I got on with the US Navy military sea lift command as a civilian sailor. Doing that I'd go out for 6 months then be off for 6 months. In my 6 months off I'd stay at my moms as a homebase. Usually I'd take a trip somewhere, occasionally though I'd stay there for 3 or 4 weeks at a time.

Lots of reasons for living at home past 18. Doesn't mean theres something wrong with him. Sometimes it's a viable option. 

I live at home with my parents

 Just a wild-azz guess on my part, but I think I may see part of your problem...

wingform84 wrote:

Generally speaking, I have the things that most females claim to want.  Someone that'll be there, care for them, love them, treat them right, etc.. most of my friends (which are mostly girls lol) say I'm so sweet and kind and caring.

Here's the thing though, women say they want a guy that treats them nice. More often than not they want a "bad boy" that treats them like crap. I'll let you in on a secret, all my failed relationships have been my fault. Something about me makes me attractive to women. I think it's because I do my own thing. I don't have a flash car, a beat to hell Toyota FJ80 with a winch, snorkel, and more dents than there are stars in the sky. It's ugly. So apparently it ain't my car. Perhaps it's my clothes? Jeans, boots, and a cotton canvas shirt have ever made it to the cover of GQ, so that can't be it. It must be my personality, honestly I treat women like crap. I say I'll call them and I don't. I cheat. I'm late for dates. Blow em off to go climbing or something. 90% of the time when they call to ask me to hang out I'm too busy and go do my thing. Yet for some reason they tend to hang around for an awfully long time. It's like the worse I treat them (it should be noted that I'm not a woman beater or abusive) the more effort they put into the relationship. Like it's something they have to fix and can't just let go of. If a woman is 5 minutes late for me, cancels a date, whatever, then it's over. I won't stand for it. They have to jump through hoops for me but I will not do it for them.

To give you an example of how I am let me tell you about my summer climbing trip to the Brooks range in 2004. I had taken my then steady girlfriend with me and we had been climbing, backpacking, and living in the boonies for 4 months. It was late July and I decided I wanted to take a crack at Mt. Michelson, Heather had enough and wanted to go home. However Heather "loved me" and gamely strapped on her crampons and off we went. After the second overnght on the slope we woke up to dark skies and generally bad conditions. I was in the throes of summit fever and figured we could tag the summit, drop a few thousand feet and ride it out in a snow cave. About 3 in the afternoon and less than a thousand feet below the summit we got slammed. Hurricane force winds, way below freezing, whiteout. Had to get down fast and get out of the wind. About this time Heather decided she had enough and just quit. Sat down in the snow and wouldn't move. I grabbed her, tried to push her down the slope, slap some sense into her, nothing. She had it. I said fine, cut the rope and left her. I had descended about a hundred vertical feet when she came tearing up to me pissed as hell and tied back in. Later on in the snow cave she let me loose on me for having left her to die. She said something about how if you love someone you never leave them. I explained to her that wasn't my philosophy. We shared a bush plane back to Fairbanks and when I got home to Seattle her friends had already come by and cleared her stuff out of our apartment.

I think women want a "bad boy" that they can change into a "nice guy" like in a romance movie. Real life doesn't work like that. I'll always be who I am. I must have a nice streak though, I stopped dating because I got tired of seeing women cry. They can be such emotional creatures. Until I find a woman that is ok with knowing she'll never be #1 in my life, is ok with being blown off, and will live to a ridiculously high standard to please me I'll be alone. Honestly I'm ok with that. I get laid on a fairly regular basis with 1 night stands, I keep busy, have a lot of friends, and don't feel a void in my life. After a long day I enjoy coming home to an empty house and having some solitude.

It is what it is.

eh, I'm not easily offended, I used to be but I grew outta that after a while a long time ago. 

That being said, to me it kinda is a bad choice.  Like I said I'm a weird guy, and I don't really mean for that to sound like a bad thing because mostly its not, its just in a way that's unappealing to females.  Generally speaking, I have the things that most females claim to want.  Someone that'll be there, care for them, love them, treat them right, etc.. most of my friends (which are mostly girls lol) say I'm so sweet and kind and caring. 

But the problem is, most girls, even when I try my best, won't look past the outside to try to get to know me to find out I might be just what they want.  In fact most of my hobbies/more private interests don't even get to be known because they just won't take a chance.  I don't have all the things that get you noticed, I don't have a fast car (at least not a real one lol), I don't have fancy clothes, I don't have a lot of money, I live at home with my parents, I'm not mr athlete, I'm just me but somehow that's unacceptable. 

As far as the loose girls, I dunno I might could pick one up for a one night stand or somthing but I just can't bring myself to do that.  I've only ever "been to the field" with one girl, and only then I'd been dating her almost a year and a half and I really truly loved her.  That's probably the one "bad" part of being weird, not being able to just go be with someone.  Part of the time I do see girls and think that'd be hot but I know I'd feel terrible afterwards.  I'm not the party type I guess, my one guy friend keeps tryin to get me to go to the college bars with him and all his hot female friends but yeah.. just won't happen.  But that's just me, I don't have any feelings about how other people do that kinda thing lol

"....at the age I am now the girls still seem to either have high standards or will hump anything that moves."

You say that like these are bad choices! Have times changed THAT Much?!

You seem like you are a thoughtful, even insightful bloke. So allow me to let you in on a major 'man-secret':

You're right about women. You nailed it on both counts.

Don't deny the benefit of being a plow mule in the field, as Hammer suggests. Nor, should you think for one second that less than a high standard will do. You should embrace both concepts. It'll help "open you up," in a manner of speaking, if you do. You seem a teensy bit stifled, if I may say so.

As for the girls, I would say that until YOU believe in your own worth, they certainly won't.

So go out and get a little exercise to tighten up. Then engage in some of Hammer's well recommended "field work" - safely of course!

Proudly tell each girl you meet what your hobby is. Hold your head up and look them in the eye when you tell them. Keep it up and eventually, you'll trip over one that thinks it's just fine. By no small coincidence, that usually happens about the time you give up moaning, "Poor worthless me," and start saying, "I'm pretty danged good, when you think about it!"

Just food for thought, my good friend. Hope you aren't offended. In the mean time, keep modeling! 

Hell, I was with my second ex-wife at 24, man... 

But there's a sayin' m' pappy had regarding the girls of looser morals vs the rest... "Lookin' at the furrow, you can't tell how many mules pulled th' plow..."

I've been coming back and reading the replies here just about every other day, whenever I can find time after work, and I think even part of the problem is is that I'm so young.  Right now I'm only 24, and honestly never had luck with girls.  See for one I've never been into "normal" things, at least normal for around here, I've never been into sports, or hunting, or fishing or any of that kinda thing.  Eventually I liked racing but that was more cuz of video games like Gran Turismo than anything.  But generally most humans find me.. unappealing, whether it be as a friend or as a boyfriend.  I've dated very few people, only serious about two of them, and at the age I am now the girls still seem to either have high standards or will hump anything that moves and I'm kinda stuck in the middle not being a high enough standard and not willing to touch the erm sluts.  That's actually why I did kinda give up my hobby for the one girl, back then I wasn't that serious about it (a few years ago now) and I wanted to be happy and seeing her happy made me happy.. but looking back she was just too bossy for me, I guess I didn't see it til afterwards.  The sad thing is, I'm still friends with her and she's dating someone else and now she's the complete opposite, doing everything to make him happy and make it work with him.. and he's this scrawy little ugly old man (he's 50 compared to her 23)

But yeah, also it seems most people I see both here on the forums and even in person at the model isle of HL or the small model part of the LHS is all a lot older than me, by at least 10 years, if not more.  Most of the people my age seem to either not go to them at all or if they do they head straight for the RC part of the store and I guess it's kinda discouraging.   One thing that does help though is the kid next door, who's I think 15 now, is actually getting into building them. 

I think a stash is a good thing to have. For me it´s like a retirement plan. I´m buying em now because later when I´m on a limited income with lots of time they´ll be there. For now I´ve got 5 kits I´ve been working on for a couple of years and they´ll be done when the´re done, no worries. It´s a hobby, no such thing as a deadline. Also a member of a shooting club and that takes up ALOT of time. Training at the club twice a week plus matches on weekends. evan have a pistol range in the basement where I spend alot of my free time. Well, it also has a bar, a fireplace, and a killer stereo but what´s that got to do with it? Then there´s work. As a plumber doing mostly large construction projects 12 hour days are not uncommon. All day long on a job in below freezing weather, home to a hot shower, cold beer, soft couch, big TV, Sopranos. Then somebody comes and puts his paw on me and looks at me with those big brown eyes and expression that says, "lets me and you go for a walk", he´s my bud, can´t let him down. My in laws are ederly and have to be looked after I just hope I´m lucky enough to have somebody there for me when I reach there point. Then there is this fourum wich is the only one I look at and it´s crazy how much time it takes just to read and look at what yáll come up with!Would´nt miss it for the world. sometimes makes my day. Then there´s my wife. One word, lucky. Right place , right time, one night in Regansburg. Her greatest pleasure is that I am happy. Maybe she doesn´t understand why someone would spend hours trying to learn wich decal options go with what paint and armament and where exactly that access panel was but she never complains. She´s not dumb. Better I´m in my shootin range or workshop than ridin the road! Besides, she has a nintendo DS, Gehirn jogging. In the end, models are my sanity. I buy too many, Build too few, but, that gives me something to hold on to.

                                              Regards, Mac

Hans is an acquired taste, like anchovies on pizza.  Once you get past the authoritarian exterior, he's one of the good guys.

First time I've ever been compared to a fish, lol... I have been called various other animal parts though, usually having a reference to an equine posterior...

Dahut, I had no intention of rubbin' you or anyone else the wrong way, although it happens... *shrug*...  I think it was best summed up by a fellow sim-pilot in another forum when he told a member that the difference between he and I was that he was "Ladies' Man" and I was a "Man's Man"... The "Ladies' Man" will hear the question of "What do you have to do to make a woman happy?"" and answer, in great detail, with tips, hints, examples, and guidelines to a long and happy relationship... A "Man's Man" will answer the same question with "Who cares?"...

I don't wanna p*ss off anyone, but I don't pipe sunshine up anyone's azz either... Probably why I never was on the short-list for Sergeant Major... Had more 'n one commander tell me that tact wasn't m' strong suit (Especially around officers and civilians)...

Someday I'll relate the story of an Arab truck-driver, a Saudi Major, me, and my reference to a pork chop that nearly became an international incident during Desert Shield...

"Rock Gyms?" What the...... when did THAT happen??

Take a break. Sometimes you need a break from life. Modeling can be a sanctuary or a prison, your mindset determines which. For me modeling is a sanctuary from women. Had some bad experiences, been hurt a lot. I keep busy with college, work, modeling, working out at the gym, golf, tennis, horseback riding, anything to avoid dating. Haven't been on a date in 3 years and change. Some might say that's odd for a guy pushing 30, but few things in my life have been conventional.

A Lapwai told me that men have an animal spirit in them. He told me that I have the spirit of a bear and that it won't hibernate until late in life. Until the bear in me hibernates I won't settle down and will have to walk lifes path alone. For what it's worth, he's been proven right so far.

Find out the spirit within you. Perhaps you too are a restless soul that needs to walk alone and experience life on your terms. Maybe you need many hobbies and diversions to satisfy your bear. In my case I go to college full time, work full time, spend 2 hours at the gym in the morning, play sports (golf, tennis, raquetball, horseback riding, indoor rock climbing) in the afternoon, work evenings and nights, read 2 or more novels a week, spent a few hours a day at the model bench, weekeds I'm trailriding on a horse, mountaineering, rafting, kayaking, hiking, backpacking, or something like that. Hell I can't make myself sleep more than 3 or 4 hours a day.

Not all of us fit societies definition of "normal" and that's ok as long as you're happy and don't cross the line into deviant or illegal behavior. Take a break and assess. Perhaps you need to find a physical hobby as well. Look into indoor rock climbing. $150 will get you a decent indoor harness, climbing shoes, and stretchy pants. Gear that will last a long time. At the college I go to a non-student can purchase a rock gym membership for ~$80/year. There's always going to be someone there willing to share a belay, or if you want to go it alone ~$50 will purchase you a decent self belay device. There's nothing like sinking into your comfy modeling chair after spending an hour or two climbing. Muscles burning and twitching, those endorphins and adrenaline giving you a mellow buzz. It's heaven tearing into a new kit when you're that tired and you feel that damn good.

Check it out.