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Heavy Sigh....

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  • Member since
    May, 2017
  • From: Denver, Colorado
Heavy Sigh....
Posted by MrStecks on Sunday, October 28, 2018 5:59 PM

My pent-up emotions from my ongoing uneployment reared its ugly head today.
I sat down to shoot some paint and my airbrush was spitting and sputtering a bit.  Normally when that happens I adjust the paint mix or the air pressure and all is good.

Today, I calmly shut off the compressor and poured the paint out of the cup.  I wiped out the paint cup, disconnected the air hose, and then I threw the airbrush across the room... propelled by 10 months of anxiety, frustration, and anger.  I don't know why.  It just came out.

It didn't end well for the airbrush or the wall.

Now I'm just depressed.  These are the days that really test my sobriety.

Mark


On the bench: Hasegawa 1/48 Nakajima E8N1 Type 95 (Dave)

In the queue: Airfix 1/48 Junkers Ju87B-1 Stuka

  • Member since
    July, 2012
  • From: Douglas AZ
Posted by littletimmy on Sunday, October 28, 2018 6:26 PM

Sometimes it's just better to "SMASH" something.

 But next time, pick a kit off of your "Shelf of Doom" .Place in blender..... ad Firecracker's and a bit of thin liquid glue...... blend at the lowest speed setting , for 5 second's.

Dont take anything out of the blender. Instead, take the whole mess outside

                        ............. Light fuse and step back......

 

                                     Mr. Stecks Airbrush     R. I. P.

( you will be missed..... unless he replaces you with the latest IWATA......... or NEO ...... then we will probably forget about this whole "Episode" ...)

I was gonna place a "For Sale" ad for you here, You know... slightly used..... low milage ECT   ECT. 

But then i thought, I might be pushing my humor just a bit too far.....

I  DO feel your Pain. Been there myself.... more than once ! 

( and that's just in the last month !!! ........)

 Dont worry about the thumbprint, paint it Rust , and call it "Battle Damage".

  

 

    

  • Member since
    March, 2005
Posted by philo426 on Sunday, October 28, 2018 7:01 PM

YES it can be frustrating, but it is best to vent with a junk paint test mule rather than the rather expensive airbrush. 

  • Member since
    January, 2015
Posted by PFJN on Sunday, October 28, 2018 7:02 PM

Hi,

Sorry to hear that.  A few years ago my nuerologist dignosed me with anxiety and possibly depression.  At first I would usually just tell people the medication that he prescribed was for anxiety, but to be honest I knew it was probably for both, and now realize that its not anything to feel embarassed about.  Anyway I think that its helped with both and find that its helped really reduce those times where I would lash out in some silly way because I felt overwhelmed.

I'm not saying that seeing a doctor or getting medication is for everyone, but just wanted to relate that it can potentially be of help in some cases.

Anyway, hoping for the best for ya.

PF

 

  • Member since
    August, 2016
Posted by Keyda81 on Sunday, October 28, 2018 7:09 PM

Had a similar situation last year a couple months or so after I lost my Dad.  I had little to no paitence at that point in time.  I was working on a 1/72 "Fat Albert" and I was so hell bent on keeping myself occupied to keep my mind of not having my Dad anymore that I just kept putting coats of paint on the plane and not waiting long enough between coats.  Well when the paint decided to crack and literally start sliding off the fuselage I lost it.  I stuffed everything in the box, and even went as far as to breaking it, and stuffing the entire thing in the recycling bin.  It happens when we were are frustrated with stuff.  It's best to let it out in increments from time to time rather than let it build up and explode out at any given moment, easier said than done though, I know. 

  • Member since
    March, 2003
  • From: Rain USA, Vancouver WA
Posted by tigerman on Sunday, October 28, 2018 7:09 PM

Went through the same 7 years ago. Lots of collateral damage along the way. I feel for you. Stay strong. It will get better.

   http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y269/wing_nut_5o/PANZERJAGERGB.jpg

 Eric 

  • Member since
    May, 2013
  • From: Indiana, USA
Posted by Greg on Sunday, October 28, 2018 7:28 PM

Sorry to hear about the event.

That said, being at my workbench and being able to share with the folks here have helped me through some crappy times. I wish the same for you.

Edit: D'oh, I mean I wish better times for you. My good wishes above didn't sound right.

-Greg

  • Member since
    July, 2014
Posted by Bakster on Sunday, October 28, 2018 7:38 PM

Hey--that brush is probably fixable. A new head assembly with needle and you are good to go. Chalk it up as one of those things.

And sorry to hear about your current situation. I've been there. Hang in there, it will change for you.

 

  • Member since
    March, 2003
  • From: Western North Carolina
Posted by Tojo72 on Sunday, October 28, 2018 7:38 PM

Thats like the frustrated baseball pitcher who punches the dugout wall after a bad game and breaks his hand,then is out for the season.It just doesn't help anything.

Hopefully things improve.

  • Member since
    July, 2014
  • From: Currently in the Dallas area
Posted by modelcrazy on Sunday, October 28, 2018 7:52 PM

Sorry about the incident Mark but sometimes keeping self control just takes one more thing to trip it off line. Hang in there buddy, a door will open.

 

Steve

ON THE BENCH

1/48 Tamiya Mk.1 Swordfish
1/350 Tamiya Prince of Wales
1/200 AMT Saturn V

In Que

Secret Santa gifts will move to the top after Christmas.

  • Member since
    March, 2015
  • From: Streetsboro, Ohio
Posted by Toshi on Sunday, October 28, 2018 8:41 PM

I was a perfect human specimen.  I didn’t go to the doctors, dentist, nor optometrist.  I excersiced, did yoga, and meditated.  Not a single issue with me.  

On 5/5/10, my life changed.  250lbs. of board fell on me.  I was in a coma.  I could not walk, I had severe headaches, blind in right eye, neck and lower back issues, issue with right leg, numbness in right hand and right foot, loss of hearing in right ear, short term memory loss, depression, anxiety, and finally Traumatic Brain Injury or TBI.  

Of course I could never work again no matter how bad I wanted to.  I take a plethora amount of prescription drugs.  Some days I can’t nor want to get out of bed.  Some days I can get out of bed but can not operate my bodily functions.  Some days I wish I was dead.  I see a neurologist, psychiatrist, psychologist, optometrist, and a PM (Pain medication) doctor.  

10/28/18, eight years later I still have the same issues mentioned above.  The only difference now is that I have FSM Forum Members in of which are my second family and my beloved grandson Ezra.  

All in all, I have my bad days and I have my fantastic days.  Last year, Mrs. Toshi had a Brain Tumor, she had it removed.  Later she had an infection and had to get another operation to clean it up.  Now another is needed due to her brain swelling.  Until the operation, with that I try to care for her now, I feel my plate is full.  

The only thing that keeps me going is building kits, FSM Forum Members, and most importantly of all Mrs. Toshi and my grandson Ezra.  All I can say is find your inner peace.

Your friend, Toshi

On The Bench: Revell 1/48 B-25 Mitchell

 

Married to the most caring, loving, understanding, and beautiful wife in the world.  Mrs. Toshi

 

 

  • Member since
    May, 2017
  • From: Denver, Colorado
Posted by MrStecks on Sunday, October 28, 2018 9:11 PM

I want to thank you all for your kind words of caring, sharing and encouragement.  I am grateful for this community and the support that is offered to each other here.  I can't recall ever seeing any hurtful or hateful posts on the FSM forums, which is kind of remarkable these days!

Yes, I had a rough afternoon and kind of "lost it."  But it was constructive, as least as a wake-up call to myself that I haven't been doing enough to deal with my anxiety and fear surrounding my ongoing job search.  That is something I can and will work on.

And to Bakster's point, I think the airbrush is repairable, and of course the wall is fixable too.

But I have to say this to littletimmy;   Umm, no... I won't be doing any of those things.  Hahahaha....  but thank you for making me laugh, which is enough.  Big Smile

Thank you all again.  Heart
Peace, Mark.


On the bench: Hasegawa 1/48 Nakajima E8N1 Type 95 (Dave)

In the queue: Airfix 1/48 Junkers Ju87B-1 Stuka

  • Member since
    April, 2005
Posted by ddp59 on Sunday, October 28, 2018 9:13 PM

Toshi, just live 1 day at a time which can be high or be low as i know somewhat what you are going thru with your body physially & without the meds. i was born with a mild form of spastic cerebral palsey caused by a stroke before i was even born. it affected the locomotive functions of my brain controlling my legs, left arm & speech. failed grade 1 but kept in grade 2 for 2yrs because of the speech problem. had 2 operations on my legs when i was 4 & 10yrs old. most people don't notice the slight left arm problem but do the legs especially when i'm tired. i've noticed over the past 15yrs as i'm now 59 that i'm slowly loosing the mobility in my legs. i ride a mountain bike to get around as i don't drive & i have to lay the bike on it's side on the ground & lift my right leg over the frame then lift the bike up between my legs when i use to get on my bike yrs ago just like everybody else does now. i have no pain at all, have full functions of my hands & brain as i work on computers, do carpentry work on my house & sometimes friends' besides working on my model warships. keep on living as you have at least 2 important reasons to do so.

  • Member since
    September, 2016
  • From: Albany, New York
Posted by ManCityFan on Sunday, October 28, 2018 9:29 PM

Hey Mark, I am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time.  I won't say I know how you feel, since I really don't.  We all know frustration, and your job situation would make anyone anxious.  I think we all also have done something while frustrated that we regretted later.

I hope you can get that airbrush fixed.  You have real talent, and have produced some really outstanding models, and I look forward to your next project.

Lastly, please stay sober, my friend.

 

Dwayne or Dman or just D.  All comments are welcome on my builds. 

  • Member since
    July, 2012
  • From: Douglas AZ
Posted by littletimmy on Sunday, October 28, 2018 9:35 PM

MrStecks
But I have to say this to littletimmy;   Umm, no... I won't be doing any of those things.  Hahahaha....  but thank you for making me laugh, which is enough. 

I wish I had "Magic pill's " that could cure every body's problem's..... but I dont.

I hear about all these problem's , and wish I could help. But, in the end, all I can do is put a "Bright side" to thing's.... through Humor. ( It's all I have)

I'm glad you took it the right way. ( Sometime's my "Humor" get's me into trouble.... go figure) And I was able to bring a smile to your face.

Truth be told..... I  ACTUALLY HAVE done just what I said. ( but I used Gas, not glue..... my mother STILL tell's the story of her Beloved Hamilton Beach blender..... and the day I "Murdered" it.)

 Dont worry about the thumbprint, paint it Rust , and call it "Battle Damage".

  

 

    

  • Member since
    November, 2008
  • From: Far Northern CA
Posted by mrmike on Sunday, October 28, 2018 10:28 PM

I do appreciate the humor in Tim's solution, although I remember that blowing up models with firecrackers was a short lived joy.

My experience with frustration is that it builds and builds and explodes at the sometimes smallest provocations, like your airbrush to the wall. Better that than taking it out on people we love, real property or total strangers. Congrats for just thowing something - I've done it.

There have been a number of good responses already, some of which make me feel so very lucky. My guiding "wisdom" comes from, of all things, a fortune cookie that I had never seen before, or since. It reads " Peace comes from within, seek it from yourself". I taped it to my toolbox, look at it often, and try hard to remember it when life gets rocky.

I enjoy your posts! Build models, be well;

Mike

  • Member since
    July, 2013
Posted by modelmaker66 on Monday, October 29, 2018 12:23 AM

Hey, we all loose it from time to time. Remember the sobriety is the number one thing. Call your sponsor, get to more meetings, talk it out with someone who understands. Been sober quite a few 24 hours now and have been through unemployment, loss, etc. You can PM me if you want to. Always glad to listen for a brother! It may not seem so but this too will pass. God bless!

  • Member since
    September, 2012
Posted by GMorrison on Monday, October 29, 2018 12:42 AM

Ask for spiritual guidance.

Dogs are good too.

  • Member since
    November, 2004
Posted by snapdragonxxx on Monday, October 29, 2018 5:39 AM

Now is the time to pick yourself up, dust your self down and get stuck in to life!

There's lots of support here from the community which is a fantastic thing to have and to be able to kick things around and I am happy to see that one post made you laugh.... That's the best medicine!

Getting back into the workforce can be a huge trial by sanity but I must point out that at this time, ANY job will do.

It doesn't matter if it's selling burgers at McDonald's or filling shelves at a supermarket, packing boxes in a despatch departmen.... It is very much a start, even if you are looking for something specific and it is much easier to move from one job to another higher up the food chain, if you know what I mean.

Sometimes it is the interview with the question of "You're a bit over qualified for this job!" Which is the make or break bit.

Your answer. "Maybe, but you have got someone who can think on their feet and solve an issue or problem. Would you rather have a spaced out spotty moron doing it?"

Maybe, and here's an idea.... Start up your own business!

 

 

James

combat veteran, certified model building idiot and almost happy!

  • Member since
    November, 2009
  • From: Twin Cities of Minnesota
Posted by Don Stauffer on Monday, October 29, 2018 8:15 AM

There is a Painting and Airbrushing forum down below.  Some real airbrushing experts there who can be a real help for problems like that.

Don Stauffer in Minnesota

  • Member since
    March, 2007
  • From: Northeast WA State
Posted by armornut on Monday, October 29, 2018 8:45 AM

   Mr. Strecks, just checking in to let ya know that though we don't communicate much here I still wanna give you support.

    I have an"explosive" temper/ personality, usually speak my mind before I realize what I'm saying. I too have shattered expensive tools,  phones, windows, cars.....like some have mentioned prayer helps, staying SOBER WORKS I know this from experience as well. Life can be and often is a real pain in the ***, good thing is ya got folks who share your pain and can direct you to a solution if not on the open forums then by PM or heck if someone lives close and is moved to do so meet you for a coffee.

   While it is hard to swallow right now, things will improve, they have to it is the way of life. Someday hopefully soon this will be just a memory/ learning experience for you. Now fix your brush, take a few REALLY DEEP BREATHS, and hang in there. P.S. feel free to PM me if you like, I don't have all or any answers but I'm a good listener.

we're modelers it's what we do

  • Member since
    March, 2017
  • From: Oregon: Beautiful tree country.
Posted by treehuggerdave on Monday, October 29, 2018 9:17 AM

I'm so srry to hear that several of you have either gone threw bad situations or are going threw them right now.

Like other members expressed, I wish I could do something to help. It's hard hearing these stories and feel helpless.

Like many of you I've been threw some similar things as several of you. Childhood abuse, losee of children and loosing friends - life can be downright niserable at times.

For me my faith in Christ , with His help has gotten me through many trials of life.

God doesn't promise to take our pains away, but He does promise to be there with us and make it more bearable. I find that comforting and thank Him that He's there and loves me.

I hope this hasn't offended anyone. I just wanted to offer some comfort that is lasting.

Some here are alone but you don't have to be. God will come close and be there - we just need to ask, nothing formal, just tell God your hurting and ask for help.

Even in my deepest darkest time there has always been a peace I can't explain.

Phil. 4:6-7   Jer. 29:11-14  John 3:13

On the bench - Hand made '50 Lincoln "Tail dragger"  1956 DeSoto 'vert., Resin '60 Chrysler 300 , Modelhaus resin '58 Pontiac hardtop kit.

Been a "Plastholic" all my life. Love this stuff.

  • Member since
    May, 2017
  • From: Denver, Colorado
Posted by MrStecks on Monday, October 29, 2018 5:05 PM

Thanks again to everyone for commenting, sharing your own stories, and always being positive and supportive to each other.  It's wonderful to see. 

I'm doing better today, got some yard work done (raking leaves) which I normally hate, but sort of enjoyed today.  And I do still have two other working airbrushes so I'll be back at the bench this evening.

Mark  Smile


On the bench: Hasegawa 1/48 Nakajima E8N1 Type 95 (Dave)

In the queue: Airfix 1/48 Junkers Ju87B-1 Stuka

  • Member since
    March, 2017
  • From: Oregon: Beautiful tree country.
Posted by treehuggerdave on Tuesday, October 30, 2018 9:51 AM

Nice to hear your better. I hope it continues Yes.

Phil. 4:6-7   Jer. 29:11-14  John 3:13

On the bench - Hand made '50 Lincoln "Tail dragger"  1956 DeSoto 'vert., Resin '60 Chrysler 300 , Modelhaus resin '58 Pontiac hardtop kit.

Been a "Plastholic" all my life. Love this stuff.

  • Member since
    January, 2013
Posted by BlackSheepTwoOneFour on Wednesday, October 31, 2018 9:44 PM

I honestly feel slightly sorry for you. But how about this .... how would you like to be dealt with not one, not two,  but 4 deaths in the family all within months of each other? A bro-in-law of a massive heart attack at the age of 53, my father - a few days before Christmas, an uncle and dear close friend. Everybody is suffering from unemployment all across the nation. 

  • Member since
    March, 2003
  • From: Western North Carolina
Posted by Tojo72 on Thursday, November 01, 2018 6:21 AM

BlackSheepTwoOneFour

I honestly feel slightly sorry for you. But how about this .... how would you like to be dealt with not one, not two,  but 4 deaths in the family all within months of each other? A bro-in-law of a massive heart attack at the age of 53, my father - a few days before Christmas, an uncle and dear close friend. Everybody is suffering from unemployment all across the nation. 

 

Sorry about those losses Sheep,that is a real tough stretch for you and your family.Some years ago my wife lost her mother and brother in a 5 month period,he was only 42,mother was 70..

National unemployment rate is actually the lowest in years 3.7% maybe something will pop for him soon.

  • Member since
    May, 2017
  • From: Denver, Colorado
Posted by MrStecks on Thursday, November 01, 2018 2:49 PM

BlackSheepTwoOneFour

I honestly feel slightly sorry for you. But how about this .... how would you like to be dealt with not one, not two,  but 4 deaths in the family all within months of each other? A bro-in-law of a massive heart attack at the age of 53, my father - a few days before Christmas, an uncle and dear close friend. Everybody is suffering from unemployment all across the nation. 

 
So sorry for your losses BlackSheep.  Grief is so hard, but to have it compounded like that is terrible.  All I can say is, keep talking about it with your family and friends, so you can all support each other.  Cherish the good memories of your loved ones, hold them close to your heart.  It's the best way to heal, and to honor them.  At least... that's how I have, and continue to, deal with grief. 
 
My well wishes to you and yours.
Mark.

On the bench: Hasegawa 1/48 Nakajima E8N1 Type 95 (Dave)

In the queue: Airfix 1/48 Junkers Ju87B-1 Stuka

  • Member since
    March, 2017
  • From: Oregon: Beautiful tree country.
Posted by treehuggerdave on Thursday, November 01, 2018 6:06 PM

Life can be hard at times. Nice to see empathy and support hereYes.

Phil. 4:6-7   Jer. 29:11-14  John 3:13

On the bench - Hand made '50 Lincoln "Tail dragger"  1956 DeSoto 'vert., Resin '60 Chrysler 300 , Modelhaus resin '58 Pontiac hardtop kit.

Been a "Plastholic" all my life. Love this stuff.

  • Member since
    July, 2016
  • From: Ohio
Posted by David2080 on Thursday, November 01, 2018 7:50 PM

God, I have been there my friend.  Lost a job I had for 25 years in 2010 when they shut down, and lost my dad last year.

It will get better.  Laugh it off...You probably feel better and it was just an airbrush.  Nothing you can't replace.  Every one of us has reached our limit at one time or another.

  • Member since
    February, 2003
  • From: East Bethel, MN
Posted by midnightprowler on Friday, November 02, 2018 8:34 AM

Being jobless can be hard. I went from summer of 2008 to spring of 2011 without permanent full time employment. It can wear on you. Hang in there and be willing to take any job you are offered. Even flipping burgers is better than nothing.

Hi, I am Lee, I am a plastiholic.

Co. A, 682 Engineers, Ltchfield, MN, 1980-1986

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 1 Corinthians 15:51-54

Ask me about Speedway Decals

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