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The Empty Nest Lament

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  • Member since
    April 2015
The Empty Nest Lament
Posted by Mopar Madness on Thursday, August 19, 2021 1:06 PM

This large monstrosity that was a home and bustling hub of teenage activity is now barren and quiet. Dead silence from upstairs wafts down to the living room now where there once was crescendos of sudden arguing, laughter, burping and farting contests, crying, and all the other sounds that come from any space occupied by multiple teenagers. The mundane chores of garbage, dishes, vacuuming, and cleaning toilets now fall on the shoulders of two very proud parents. As young parents we were told many times, "It goes by so fast."... it really does. 

Yesterday we drove out to west Texas to move our son into his dorm. He's living his dream; he received a full baseball scholarship and seems to be acclimating pretty well.  What followed was an emotional 5hr drive back home to Dallas with hours of quiet reflection. That's three kids in college now and the only child left at home is our calico cat; who I'm sure will now become more spoiled than she was before. Now we start a new chapter full of new memories. It's been along time since we were married without kids but we're both looking forward to rediscovering each other and downsizing to something more managable.

Cheers to those who have yet to walk down this path. Beer Cheers to those who have already been here. Beer

Chad

God, Family, Models...

At the plate: 1/72 Revell He177 & 1/35 Tamiya Sdkfz 251

On deck: 1/35 Bronco LWS

In the hole: 1/144 Revell S-100

  • Member since
    September 2012
Posted by GMorrison on Friday, August 20, 2021 5:08 PM

It's not to be underestimated. It represents a big change. Mine went to Community College and lived at home for a couple of years. Then she moved out to University. I missed her, but was in pretty regular contact for one reason or another. Then she moved home for a couple of years while she worked. Eventually she moved out for good. So it sort of was an easier transition.

We sold our house at the same time and moved to another more rural area and live in our other house.

I love the kid but was not at all sorry to see her move on.

 

It stays pretty involved ever though it's just you in the house.

 

Makes Thanksgiving and Christmas more special as well.

 

Bill

 Modeling is an excuse to buy books.

 

  • Member since
    March 2015
  • From: Close to Chicago
Posted by JohnnyK on Friday, August 20, 2021 5:23 PM

Mopar,

As I read your post tears ran down my cheeks. You post was just so sad and full of emotions. We don't have kids so I can't relate to what you are going through. I can only say that I hope that time will makes things better. My only recommendation is to give your kids a call.

Your comments and questions are always welcome.

  • Member since
    August 2021
Posted by goldhammer88 on Friday, August 20, 2021 5:31 PM

Never had any kids, but have gone from a bustling house to a lonely place with a roof, twice in seven years.

I can understand what you're having happen, at least you've got family around.  Stay in close contact with them.

The dog and cat here were spoiled before and it's getting worse.

  • Member since
    December 2002
  • From: Fort Knox
Posted by Rob Gronovius on Saturday, August 21, 2021 1:52 AM

I've raised six kids, but my youngest (8 years younger than the next youngest) has been akin to an only child since his older brother went to college in 2015. And this last child just began his senior year in high school.

One more year and we are official empty nesters.

Except for four cats and two dogs.

  • Member since
    November 2003
  • From: Naples, FL
Posted by tempestjohnny on Saturday, August 21, 2021 6:03 AM

My daughter(26) moved out about 3 years ago just before we moved from CT to FL. She followed us to FL but got her own apartment here. Her fiance followed her here and they bought a house. 1.5 miles from mine.  My son(22) still lives at home but is finishing up college locally. He is a homebody. Its nice knowing that I have no worries about where he is. 

 

  • Member since
    April 2003
  • From: USA
Posted by keavdog on Saturday, August 21, 2021 7:33 AM

I hear you.  I have 3: my daughter is the oldest and twin boys.  So we went from 3 to 0 in 2 years.  My kids and I did everything together: RC stuff, fishing, boating, skiing  etc.  All great memories.  The left for college and never returned - currently in San Antonio, TX and Fort Collins, CO.  That was 10 years ago so pretty acclimated to the new life AND my daughter is due any day now so I'll be starting the grandpa chapter soon.

Thanks,

John

  • Member since
    September 2012
Posted by GMorrison on Saturday, August 21, 2021 10:32 AM

keavdog
AND my daughter is due any day now so I'll be starting the grandpa chapter soon.

That's something to look forward to.

Bill

 Modeling is an excuse to buy books.

 

  • Member since
    June 2014
Posted by BrandonK on Saturday, August 21, 2021 11:25 AM

Time does rush by when you're rasing kids. My youngest (20) took a few weeks to spend with some friends out of state and the time at home was surreal, kinda empty for me, my helper was away. Kinda hit harder than I thought it would. But, he is home now and will be for at least a few more years as rent here is stupid high and almost impossible for families let alone young adults just starting out. He understands that living on his own in this day and age is not gonna happen till he gets work that pays really well. Someday he will get on his feet and we won't see him much and that will make my work around here more challenging. I truly appreciate having him around.

My oldest (29 in Dec.) is developmentally disabled and will remain living with us until we can no longer care for him. So, no empty nesters here. But it scares the wife and I dearly to think of someone else careing for him. Will he be happy and well cared for? Truly keeps me awake at night. Barring any major issues I should have another 35-40 years to do it, but you just don't know. Getting older has more challenges than most people believe until you start to face them head on. So yeah, seeing the kids move on is not something we want to see for ourselves, but we really want to see for them to have a full and happy life where they carry themselves.

BK

Dream room complete!! BalloonsBeer

On the bench: Trumpeter 1/35 Su-152, Tamiya 1/35 M4A3E8 "Fury" with crew

On Deck: Accurate Minataures 1/48 P-51C "Boise Bee", Tamiya 1/48 F4U Birdcage, Tamiya 1/48 Sea Harrier

 

  • Member since
    July 2015
Posted by MR TOM SCHRY on Saturday, August 21, 2021 1:12 PM

Boy BrandonK, did your posting hit close to home!  Retired from teaching in June of 2020 and taught virtually from home since March to June.  Me, my wife, and three kids all stayed home together during the initial lockdown.  When the school year started in Sept. of 2020 my wife went back to her classroom, only to be sent home to teach virtually from Oct. to Feb..  My daughter, 22 years old along with her twin brother, finished her last year of college from home.  Her 16 year old brother stayed at home and did virtual learning too.  My 22 year old son(twin #1) is developmentally disabled and lives at home with us.  Now as the school year is getting closer, my wife is getting ready to go back to her classroom, my daughter got a job that she loves, plans to live at home for a yeare to earn money for graduate school, my 16 year old is finally getting ready to start his junior year of high school(first two years pretty much completed at home)and I'm staying at home to care for my oldest son.  I know that everyone is living at home yet, but I can see the future where two of my kids are moved out.  My wife and I, like you and your wife, worry about our oldest son and how he will be cared for after we are gone.  Modelers, enjoy that precious time that you have with your children when you can, because sadly it goes by so quickly.

TJS

  • Member since
    April 2015
Posted by Mopar Madness on Monday, August 23, 2021 3:43 PM

Thank you everyone for your stories and great advice! Such a great group of folks in this forum.

Chad

God, Family, Models...

At the plate: 1/72 Revell He177 & 1/35 Tamiya Sdkfz 251

On deck: 1/35 Bronco LWS

In the hole: 1/144 Revell S-100

  • Member since
    August 2020
  • From: Lakes Entrance, Victoria, Australia.
Posted by Dodgy on Monday, August 23, 2021 7:38 PM

Our daughter left home when she married her husband who was in the Air Force. He was then posted to Darwin, which if I remenber correctly was a four hour flight. Boy did we miss her. He was then posted to Pearce AFB in Westen Australia, even further away. It was nearly seven years before he was posted back to our home state. Bloody hard on my wife. The son left home at 16 and had a lot of problems with drugs, nearly killed Jill. All is now good, Steve is a refrigeration mechanic with 3 children and Emma is a Chartered Public Account with 2 children and during school holidays our beachside home becomes noisy and chaotic, and whilst it's wonderful at the time, it's great to see them go home.

For those of you who have a dependant child with a disability, my heart goes out to you. I have a good mate in this position and I am aware of the stress and fear it causes him and his wife.

I long to live in a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

  • Member since
    October 2004
  • From: Orlando, Florida
Posted by ikar01 on Tuesday, August 24, 2021 7:51 PM

I got married while based at Little Rock AFB when I was 25.  About 6 months later While on patrol I was dispatched to the base lake with another patrol to check out a call from base housing near the base lake that there was a large group of people gathered at the far side of the lake where people would camp.  It turned out they were aircraft mechanics who were having a after work get together.  I ended up meeting my future wife in the group and eventually we got married by the time I was 26.  We had one kid and soon I was re-assigned to Okinawa and she followed 6 months later.  A couple assignments later She was medically retired and I was sent back to the states, ending up outside Orlando and looking for a job with no idea how to do it.

Now my kid is married with three of his own.  He's a car mechanic (I never got along well with machines) and lives aboiut a mile from us.  The house is quieter and I get more time to build and sometimes get to the range for some target practice.  Our cats can keep me busysometimes and there have been times when I get into my recliner I have company from three or four of the biggest ones who just love attention.  Then someof the others move in.

I have been a loner growing up, thanks to my older brothers and I stayed that way for a long time, until I met my wife.  I actually like the semi quiet and sometimes I think it would be nice if he had moved just a little farther away, say Texas.

  • Member since
    May 2019
  • From: Texas-Along the Old Preston Trail
Posted by Code Talker on Wednesday, October 6, 2021 10:21 AM

I know exactly how you feel. Both of my sons are away in college and the house is ear-splitting quiet.  I was home all through September for medical reasons so it was just my little dog (Zeusy) and I until my wife came home in the evenings.  However, Zeusy could carry on her part of the conversation so I never felt alone. Then Zeusy died on the 23rd and the silence became stifling.  Everywhere I look in the house are good memories of times past that will never happen again.  I never thought I could miss a dog as much as I miss this one. 

My wife is working late tonight so I'll be going home to a silent house and I'm not looking forward to it.  

  • Member since
    September 2012
Posted by GMorrison on Wednesday, October 6, 2021 10:27 AM

We lost a dog last week and I'm feeling it. We do have another one though. My wife is home alone with that one most days and she can't drive because of MD.

I've finally broken through the barrier to Lyft and Uber so she can go into town or over to church to do stuff during the day.

I work all day in the office, so when I get home I like peace and quiet.

 

Bill

 Modeling is an excuse to buy books.

 

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