Poetry and Lyrics thread...redux...

Politically correct? mehh, probably not. Funny?? I got a kick out of it, in a South Park kinda way!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99YU4PP6HU8&feature=player_detailpage

Oooooooooo...got some ideas for a few of these...

I dont have all the words but here are some of the songs on my ipod:

Dude glues like  a lady 

Nothing compares to spru

Canadian Railroad Diorama

Stuck Inside Mobile With the Memphis Belle Again

Didn't I see you priming

Courtesy Of The Red, White and Glue

Living on Tamiya Time 

High On The Mountain of fumes

I Build Alone

I'd Rather Go Blind, than finish this build

I'v Been Building you too long 

Boy named Sprue

Whole Lotta Sanding Going On

I Fought The Kit and The Kit Won

Ain't No Sunshine When Its Done

One Bourbon One Scotch and One Kit

Pour Some Future On Me

Silver Threads and Golden Nacelles

Six Days On This Kit

Some Where Over The Work Bench

Sympathy For The Dremell

Tangled Up In Glue

You Can't Always Build What You Want

I, for one, would be honored...

Any requests?

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hahahah!!

With your permission, boys, I may use these as lyrics on the next album? ....

Good ones!

ahhhhhhh - the classics!

The plastic stash, it is exploding

Violence flarin', bullets loadin'

You're old enough to build, but not for votin'

You don't believe in war, but what's that  “jug” your totin'

And even Hasagawa has kits on half price'

But you tell me

Over and over and over again, my friend

Ah, you don't believe

We're on the eve

of contruction.

Don't you understand what I'm tryin' to say

Can you help me with the kits that I'm buildin' today?

If the button is pushed, there's no runnin' away

There'll be no one to save, I’ll take my stash to my grave

[Take a look around ya boy, it's bound to scare ya boy]

And you tell me

Over and over and over again, my friend

Ah, you don't believe

We're on the eve

of construction.

Yeah, my blood's so mad feels like coagulatin'

I'm sitting here just contemplatin'

Those damm rivet counters know no regulation.

Handful of IPMS officials don't pass legislation

And judges alone can't bring contest elation

When human respect is disintegratin'

This whole crazy hobby is just too frustratin'

And you tell me

Over and over and over again, my friend

Ah, you don't believe

We're on the eve

of construction.

Think of all the kits made in in Red China

Then take a look around to Selma, Alabama

You may leave here for 4 days in space

But when you return, it's the same old place

The mess on the table, the half built kits

You can mask your fusulage, and don't leave a trace

Air brush your next-door neighbor, but don't forget to say grace

And… tell me over and over and over and over again, my friend

You don't believe

We're on the eve

Of construction

Mm, no no, you don't believe

We're on the eve

of construction.

ahhhh - the girl with the Optivisor eye.... CLASSIC! Now that I've admitted that the thread exists I'll have to submit something. Not now though, think I need some glue/paint fumes before I get in on this one!

Congrats to all so far, you should be touring together, fermis can provide guitars.

Well I dont know why I model tonight,

I got this feeling something aint right'

I'm so scared in case I set fire to my hair, 

There is a part jammed right under my chair,

Exacto to the left of me, sprues to my right,

and I'm, stuck with my fingers in glue,

yes I'm, stuck with my fingers in glue,

I wish I had some debonder too,

I got parts spread all over the place,

I got PE stuck right to my face,

Exacto to the left of me, sprues to my right,

and I'm stuck with my fingers in glue

The Long and Winded Rant

The long and winded rant
That leads to your thread
Will never disappear
I've seen that rant before
It always leads me here
Lead me to your thread.

That weird and shiny wing
That the wife has thrown away
Has left me sad and blue
Wishing for the day.
Why leave me posting here?
Let me know the way.

Many times I've been alone
And many times I've flown,
Anyway you'll never know
The many ways I moan.

And still they lead me back
To the long, winded rant
You left me posting here
A long, long time ago
Don't leave me posting here
Lead me to your thread.

But still they lead me back
To the long winding rant
You left me posting here
A long, long time ago (ohhh)
Don't keep me waiting here (don't keep me waiting)
Lead me to your thread. (yeah yeah yeah yeah)

Skipping Three Steps...

I was cutting the sprue
Right above the rug
With a girl named Linda Lou
When in walked a man
With a spraygun in his hand
And he was looking for you know who
He said, "Hey there, MOJO
With the spine colored yellow
Whatcha tryin' to prove?
'Cause that's my wing there
And I'm a man who cares
And this might be all for you"
I said, "Excuse me"
I was scared and fearing for my life
I was shaking like part B3 on a tree
'Cause he was lean, mean
Big and bad, Lord
Pointin' that spraygun on me
"Oh, wait a minute, Manny
I didn't even break the wrap
Don't want no trouble with you
And I know you don't owe me
But I wish you'd let me
Ask one favor from you"
chorus:
"Oh, won't you
Skip three steps, skip
three steps, Manny
Skip three steps and move onto step four?
Skip three steps, skip
three steps, Manny
And you'll never see me no more"
Oh, sure
Well the crowd cleared away
And I began to pray
And the paint fell on the floor
And I'm telling you, son
Well, it ain't no fun
Staring straight down a Badger model forty-four
Well, he turned and
screamed at Linda Lou
And that's the break I was looking for
Well, you could hear me
screaming a mile away
I was headed out toward the door
chorus
Show me the back door

With apologies to Neil Young....

There's colors on the wings
greens greys and blues
People cutting decal sheets
People stretching their sprues
But there's a caution sign
on the instructions ahead
There's a lot of people asking
"what's the best oxide red?"
Don't feel like sanding
that nasty seam
So I try to forget it
and just paint it green

Keep on modelling in the free world
Keep on modelling in the free world
Keep on modelling in the free world
Keep on modelling in the free world

I saw a guy last night
Tamiya Panther-A in his hand
under an old worklight
using a Testors spray can
Now he's thrown the kit away
and he's got the ***ts
He hated the paintjob
and how he weathered it
That's one more kit
that's so old school
no matter what you do
it'll never be cool

Keep on modelling in the free world
Keep on modelling in the free world
Keep on modelling in the free world
Keep on modelling in the free world

We got a thousand spots of paint
for the oil-dot man
got a kinder gentler thinner on hand
Went to the department store
no models to be seen
My LHS has run out of olive green
A guy on the forum
says there's some in the next town
but when I get there
they're out of red-brown

Keep on modelling in the free world
Keep on modelling in the free world
Keep on modelling in the free world
Keep on modelling in the free world

Tenax bottles, and plastic cars
Sprue tree you're in my way
There's too much paint and too much glue
Look whats going on inside you
Ooooh that smell
Cant you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of plastic surrounds you

Your wife's intuition is upon you
She stuck a needle in your spine
So here's another joke, take some advice from your MOJO's
One more scolding will drown you
Ooooh that smell
Cant you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of her perfume surrounds you

Now they call you Von Manstein
Cant understand a word when you post
Say you'll be all right come tomorrow
But tomorrow might not be here for you
Ooooh that smell
Cant you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of cats surrounds you

Hey, youre a fool you
Pull that sprue when its warm
I know I been there before

One little problem that confronts you
'Aint got a spine in your back
Just one more $229 kit, lord might do the trick
One heck of a price for you to get your kicks
Ooooh that smell
Cant you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of $229 surrounds you
Ooooh that smell
Cant you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of $229 surrounds you

Imagine there's no Dragon
It's easy if you try
No Hasegawa below us
Above us only Esci
Imagine all the people
Living for each piece

Imagine there's no Eduard
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to bend or fold for
And no instructions too
Imagine all the people
Building models from scratch

You may say that I'm a modeler
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the Forum will be as one

Imagine there's no stashes
I wonder if you can
No need for kits or AM
A brotherhood of spam
Imagine all the modelers
Sharing all their refs

You may say that I'm a modeler
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the Forum will live as one

With all due respect to the lads from Liverpool, and my respect for them is considerable, I'm throwing a parody bone to some gentlemen from Canada:

Forums

Living at the model bench, I build for my desire

To post up my entire

Review of all the work I’ve done this year for all my buds to see

Living in the glaring lense of Manstein and von Hammer

I dare not court their favor

I know my work is my reward if the wife doesn’t know what it cost

Living on the Forums, the model builder’s dream

For those who click to see

Group builds and WIP’s

Can’t get enough plastic saturation

But back to the bench without hesitation

The Flying Eyeball and Horton 229 are there

Living in this cyberspace, where plastic is so sacred

And new threads are created

To ask and tell and pic and nit and “What’s Your Favorite Show?”

All the Forum’s indeed a stage, and we are merely builders

We post while CA cures

Each another’s audience inside Aaron’s guilded cage

Living on the Forums, the model builder’s dream

For those who click to see

Group builds and WIP’s

Can’t get enough plastic saturation

But back to the bench without hesitation

The Flying Eyeball and Horton 229 are there

(hint: ‘Limelight’ from Rush)

A Day in the Life (of a Forum Modeler)

I cut some sprue today oh boy
Read about lucky man who won a badge 
And though the badge was rather sad
Well I just had to laugh
I saw his avatar
She had his spine in a jar
He didn't notice that the price had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure
If he was from the 229 thread.

I saw a post today oh boy
Vance Crozier had just won the award
A crowd of MOJO's turned away
but I just had to post
Having made the most
Of a courtyard ghost

Woke up, fell out of bed,
Dragged a cat across my head                                                                                                                                  Found my way downstairs and put on a cup,
And looking up I noticed I was late.
Found my coat and grabbed my cat
Built the wing in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and heard a joke,
and somebody spoke and I went into the screen

I cut some sprue today oh boy
Four thousand holes in my Lancaster 
And though the holes were rather small
I had to fill them all
Now I know how many holes it takes to fill the Lindberg sub.
I'd love to spur you on

tigerman

Hmmm, must be beat-up on Jeff day.

Nope, nothing against Sprue Brothers, just the sprue trees  from which our models are born.

Mike T.

Hmmm, must be beat-up on Jeff day.

Here's my try:

ON THE SPRUE

Someone told me

It’s all about the sprue.

I do believe it,

I do believe it’s true

My light’s own and my hand trembles so,

From the cutting of the sprue,

Just a fine clean cut

From the sprue,

But you can take a scapel,

If you are being  so bold,

And the plastic will let you cut through,

If you do.

Somethin’ tells me

It’s all happening with the sprue.

The cutters cut so cleanly,

Leaving hardly a bump,

No I can’t find what I am looking for,

Its so dumb

It makes me so skeptical,

Of which part that I need to cut,

And I get impatient on what else to do.

Somethin’ tells me

It’s all happening with the sprue.

I fumble hard with the tools ,

Almost hacking up the part,

And slicing it off in two,

Will I cut my fingers off too!

What a blast! You gotta come and see,

What’s on the sprue.

Mike T. with thanks to Simon and Garfunkle

'Cover of the GSM'

Well we are all model crafters, we have stashes to the rafters and we're praised everywhere we post-

We build in Armor and we build in Aircraft, and we fight about which is done most.

Yeah we do all kinds of builds that give us all kinds of thrills, but the thrill we've never known-

Is the thrill that'll get'cha when your build is pictured on the cover of the GSM

Geeeee Essssssssss Emmmmmmmm,

Wanna see my build on the cover,

Geeeee Esssssssss Emmmmmmmm,

Gonna buy 5 cpoies for my Mother,

Geeeee Esssssssss Emmmmmmm,

I wanna see my finest build on the cover of the GSM

I've got a freaky old kit that was an E-Bay find, that has stumped the whole forum crowd.

All those poor old grey haired builders, they don't know what's 'a comin' from me now.

Now it's all designed, to blow their minds but their minds won't really be blown-

Until the Postman comes and their dreams are undone by seein' my work on the once year GSM.

Geeeeeee Esssssssssss Emmmmmmmmmmm

Wanna see my build on the cover,

Geeeeeeee Esssssssss Emmmmmmmmmmmm,

Gonna buy 5 copies for my Mother,

Geeeeeeee Esssssssssss Emmmmmmmmmm,

I wanna see my finest build on the cover of the GSM.

I've got a lot of little teenage, newbie groupies, who hang on every pic I post,

I've got article after article published, tryin' to teach the guys how give their most.

I've got all the tools and AM that money can buy, and with the forums I'm never alone,

but while my build collection gets fatter, I'll never be happy,

'till one makes it to the cover of the GSM

Geeeeeeee Essssssssss Emmmmmmmmm,

Wanna see my build on the cover,

Geeeeeeeee Esssssssss Emmmmmmmmmm,

Gonna buy 5 copies for my Mother,

Geeeeeeee Essssssssssss Emmmmmmmmmm,

I wanna see my finest build on the cover of the GSM.

LOL, You have too much time on your hands.

Idle hands are the devils child!!!  Still LOL tho!!  Keep them coming.

EDUARD FAN (Nowhere Man)

He's a real Eduard Fan,
Sitting in his AM Land,
Making all his Eduard planes
for nobody.

Doesn't have a real good view,
Knows not where its going to,
Isn't there a Weekend kit for you and me?

Eduard Fan please listen,
You don't know what part you're missing,
Eduard Fan, OOB is more than you can stand!

(lead guitar)

He's as blind as he can be,
Folding all of that PE,
Eduard Fan can you see me at all?

Eduard Fan, don't worry,
Take your time, don't hurry,
Leave it all till somebody else
lends you a hand!

Doesn't have real good glue,
Knows not what its sticking to,
Isn't there a Weekend kit for you and me?

Eduard Fan please listen,
You don't know what part is missing
Eduard Man, OOB is more than you can stand!

He's a real Eduard Fan,
Sitting in his AM Land,
Making all his Eduard planes
for nobody.
Making all his Eduard planes
for nobody.
Making all his Eduard planes
for nobody!

Any more takers?

"G-girl", hummed to the Beatles, "Something"...

Something in the way she glues,
Attracts me like no other modeler.
Something in the way she pulls sprue.
I don't want to leave the bench,
You know I believe she's French.

Somewhere in her smile she knows,
That I don't need no other model.
Something in her stash that shows me.
I don't want to leave the bench,
You know I believe she's French.

You're asking me will my stash grow,
I don't know, I don't know.
Stick around, and it may grow,
But I don't know, I don't know.

Something in the way she glues,
And all I have to do is think of her.
Something in the wing she shows me.
I don't want to leave the bench now.
You know I believe and how.

Well done, PWB!