 Cosmic J wrote: |
| What I do resent is when individuals take it upon themselves to "Police" the site, cloaking themselves in a Holier-than-Thou attitude, telling the rest of us what we can and can't discuss in any way we see fit. I was exchanging e-mails w/ a fellow from this site just last night, who said he had been continuously harassed by fellow members, not for reasons of content, but for what appear to be economic reasons. I myself received a PM from an site member that read as follows: | You joined the site only slight(sic) more than a month ago, and perhaps you have not yet had the time to yet realize that we in the Armor forums are a pretty well-behaved and self-policing group of guys. They're(sic) have been many past "flame wars" in the past, which caused the loss of many members who had their feelings hurt or just didt(sic) want to be part of a hostile environment. To avoid that possibility, we try to take the initiative to try to squelch any post where the participants are starting to lob insults or careen off topic--the site is. after all, about MODELLING(sic). If you want us to put you on the "shit list" of people with attitudes whose work and questions will be ignored by the members who know that maturity and respect are the watchwords of the site, you're(sic) doing a pretty goog(sic) job! YOU(sic) CHOICE?!? |
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Who exactly are the members of this ‘cabal', and who gave them the right to decide what was acceptable or not? How is it that they, above all others, have been blessed w/ the knowledge of Good and Evil, politically correct and incorrect? To me, jerks like this are a far more pernicious problem. <Anybody wanting to see the full PM, (including the author's identity, as well as all the spelling errors, malaprops and self-contradictions) should drop me a note; I will forward you the complete text.> |
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I'm going to beat you to the punch here, Cosmic J, and take credit for posting that
PRIVATE message to you, which was done after you interjected a rather tasteless and unnecessarily sarcastic comment into the thread "Some say he died in the bunker, but...".
Curiously, this was after you posted another thread saying that you "looked in here in the first place because I thought the author might be one of those closet Nazi sympathizers I sometimes run into..."--you came looking for a fight, and it seems that when you didn't find one, you perhaps sought to create one after the fact? Interestingly, it looks like you returned the next day, apparently thought about it, and decided to stir the pot with an "attitude"? Not in reaction to anything new that had been posted, but apparently just as a provocation. At least that's how it seemed to me?
Cosmic, there are still posts that lament about how many people have left the forum because of the "Flame Wars",--I tried to explain that to you in the original PM--and even in the short time that I've been here--about a year now--we've seen some "situations" here where people get PO'd and leave, and we lose some very good modelers and friends--totally unnecessary and avoidable, in my opinion, and a little bit of diplomacy goes a long way if you ask me. We do seem to have a pretty steady and friendly bunch here now, and to be frank, I honestly value that and enjoy the interaction tremendously, and if there's any way that I can possibly head off the possibilty of that happening again, I have resolved to make a generally-directed post and call for a re-assessment of where things might be headed, or to call out a person in private for a post that I feel might be inappropriate, Is that "policing the forums"? Not to me. It's called "caring enough to voice an opinion", in my book. Better than having the moderator lock the thread after it degenerates into open hostility, in my opinion, but hey, if that's your thing...?
Posts about Hitler always seem to gravitate toward potential minefields of strong opinions--look at how the mere mention of his name here brings them up---and when I felt that the thread was perhaps turning toward the hostile, I posted a simple suggestion that perhaps the thread had run its course of productive discussion--the same as I would do in any small group, bar room circle, or community gathering--a model club perhaps, or a bunch of guys watching a game? The dynamics of personal interactions don't just disappear in cyberspace, and I'd be the FIRST to say to one of my friends "hey, that was a bit harsh" in "real life", in person.
interestingly, as I have said previously, you did not take issue with THAT post, but returned a day later with a provocative post which I still have a hard time understanding as far as your intention, given your opportunity to voice your opinion on the subject had you really taken some sort of offense to it.
In any case, I posted a PRIVATE message to you to tell you that in my opinion, your post was really in bad taste and that that kind of provocative "blog-like" confrontation could be found in any political blog out there, and based upon what I had seen here as an active member, a bit uncalled-for, and ill-considered. Had you had an issue with me on that, you could have returned my post with a response ( or an email)--THAT IS WHAT THE PRIVATE MESSAGES ARE FOR--to dispute or talk amongst members about things that are not appropriate or necessarily relevant to the whole community. You're not the first I have PM'ed in this manner, nor will you be the last. Likewise, I have recieved PM's from members who felt that my posts were inappropriate, and I have admittedly been harsh to one member in the past, and have publicly apologized to him here--as others have done so as well to other members. This, to me, represents the "spirit" of this site, which I love so much. I have become not only a better modeler, but a better person since joining the FSM sites.
Unfortunately, since you have taken it upon yourself to make this a "public issue" with your equally ill-considered "offer" here to make available the text of my PRIVATE message to you ("...with all the spelling errors, malaprops and self-contradictions") to anyone interested in the salacious details, in what can only seem to be an effort to impugn me, I feel regrettably compelled to respond in a similarly public fashion.
The comment about "If you want "us" to put you on the..." was in reference to a situation that happened almost a year ago where we had a member who was quite abusive in many people's views, and who almost wore out his welcome before making a 180-degree change and re-ingratiating himself with "US"--the community here who DO treat each other--for the most part--witha good deal of respect. That was not a "threat" (I admit and regret that my wording of that was hasty and could have been better explained and termed more eloquently). I will not claim to speak for anyone, but was only trying to convey an innate understanding of what I understand as "group dynamics" in a social context and setting. IMO, if you don't know by now that, in this forum, in a bar room, in a model club or church community, that people who are provocatively confrontational just inevitably do get "put on an "ignore" list" almost subconsciously, then perhaps you really should reconsider my motivation in trying to get you to grasp that concept; for the sake of your enjoyment and participation here??? That's why I ended the post with "YOUR CHOICE??" It was a simple call to you to reconsider your tone in the future? Sorry if you felt so defensive about it; as I said, I should have worded it more clearly, but thought that you would grasp the well-intended point behind it--you are, after all, a somewhat "new" member, and every forum and site has its own particular dynamics and intangible parameters of "acceptable behavior" whether we wish them to exist or not.
But in fact, perhaps now that you've alluded to something more sinister and threatening in my well-intentioned post, perhaps you SHOULD post the body of that text here?--with all the spelling errors, malaprops, and self contradictions (???--as if that proves what? That I'm a bad typist?) and let the community decide of it was "out of line" or in any way NOT simply well-intentioned? If it was, I'm man enough to take the criticism and say I'm wrong if I'm called on it by the majority. Let me have it, guys, if you feel that I was out-of-line, or acting outside the bounds of "good taste"?
In closing, I WILL say that I am honestly sorely disappointed in your "offer" to betray what I see as a fundamental issue of integrity and trust--a PRIVATE MESSAGE is a PRIVATE MESSAGE, period--regardless of whether you agree with it or not. You can respond in it with as many profanities or insults as you would deem appropriate; they are not monitored by the moderators! But your willingness to betray the trust of a forum member in this way--and after not even having the courage to respond mano-a-mano--in my opinion betrays the very letter and spirit of this forum and its community of members in a way that just makes me almost physically ill. ![Dead [xx(]](/emoticons/icon_smile_dead.gif)
I was only trying to suggest to you a "kinder, gentler way" to consider your posts in this forum. If that's being a "pernicuous jerk", I'd rather, any day, to be THAT than whatever you have proved yourself to be by your lack of apparent lack of integrity.