Poetry and Lyrics thread...redux...

Doldrums Prison

I hear the UPS truck a-comin', it's rollin' 'round the bend-

I've been waitin' on my order since,

I don't know when, Yeah I'm stuck at my build table,

with no new kit to do, but the UPS truck keeps on rollin',

another house or two.

When I was a younger builder, I'd do them one by one-

Right straight outta the box man, yeah it was all for fun-

But then I got some PE and resin, just to make the other modelers sigh-

Now when I don't get my Blue Ribbon, I hang my head and cry.

I'm lookin' in my stash pile, surely there's something there for me-

After all I've been accumulating it since 1983.

Oh I said that I would build them, that's what I tell myself-

But as the years go by my closet space fills faster than my shelves.

Yeah I'm stuck at my build table, staring blankly at the wall-

The wife and kids are yacking 'bout somethin'-

Perhaps yet another trip to the mall?

I'm tryin' to come up with a project,

Something to wow all my Forum friends-

I haven't posted any builds for months now-

Oh well, I guess it's back to "Odds and Ends".

LMAO---made me think of Hammer...

•  With apologies to Prince: This song's called "$19.99."

Went to my local hobby shop just to buy some paint and glue                                                                                  Wasn't really going to buy another model too.                                                                                                        , Ooo, then I saw this Hasegawa Lockheed P-3C                                                                                                         But when I picked it up, I saw how much it would be!

That kit is forty-zero-zero, too expensive OOPS! Ain't got a dime!                                                                               So I'm gonna wait and buy it when it's $19.99.

I went down another aisle just to see what I could see what                                                                                  There I saw a model kit that greatly appealed to me.                                                                                                  A A Tamiya 1/35-scale Sherman Tank                                                                                                                               But when I saw how much it cost, well you know my heart just sank!

That kit is fifty-zero-zero, too expensive OOPS! Ain't got a dime!                                                                               So I'm gonna wait and buy it when it's $19.99.

Went to another hobby shop and guess what I saw in there! 

A USS Enterprise aircraft carrier                                                                                                                                        In 1/350 scale! You know that kit was really nice                                                                                                           And I was gonna take it home and build it, then I saw the price!

That kit's two hundred-zero-zero, too expensive OOPS! Ain't got a dime!                                                               So I'm gonna wait and buy it when it's $19.99.

That's kit's two hundred-zero-zero, too expensive OOPS! Ain't got a dime!                                                             So I'm gonna wait and buy it when it's $19.99.

Forgive the sloppy editing. I cannot get the computer to edit this properly and I tried about three times! Perhaps somebody else can redo it properly; this stupid computer refuses to cooperate!

"We Won't Get Fooled Again" also known as, "We Won't Pre-Order Again"

We'll be fighting in the streets
With our I-20's under our feet 
And the model that we worshiped will be gone
It was Lindberg who spurred us on
We sat in judgment of all its wrongs
But they turned a deaf ear and released it anyway 

I'll tip my hat to the new Hasegawa
Take a bow for the new Tami-WOW-A
Smile and grin at the reviews all around me
Pick up my air-brush and spray
Just like yesterday
And I'll get on my bench and pray
We don't get fooled again
Don't get fooled again

Change it had to come
We knew it all along
We all pre-ordered and took the fall 
But the mold looks just the same
And history ain't changed
'Cause the box-art and ads, they're all lame

I'll tip my hat to the new Hasegawa
Take a bow for the new Tami-WOW-A
Smile and grin at the reviews all around me
Get my toy sub and play 
Just like yesterday
And I'll get on my bench and pray
We don't get fooled again
Don't get fooled again
No, no!

I'll move my hopes and my anticipation to the side
If we happen to be left to decide
I'll get all my refs and smile at the sky
For I know that the manufacturers never lie

Do ya?


There's nothing on the shelves
Looks any different to me
And the re-boxings are placed, by-the-bye
And the hull its too wide 
And now the hatches are too high
And the lines waiting for a decent sub have grown longer overnight

I'll tip my hat to the new Hasegawa
Take a bow for the new Tami-WOW-A
Smile and grin at the reviews all around me
Sit in the bathtub and play 
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my bench and pray
We don't get fooled again
Don't get fooled again
No, no!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Meet the new kit
Same as the old kit

Manstein's revenge

Dr. Faust:

Nah, the last two pretty much suck.

 

Thanks, here's another one for you to suck on:

Hey Jeff, don't make it bad
Take a Horton and build it better
Remember to get her off of your back
Then you can begin to build it better

Hey Jeff, don't be afraid
It was made for you to go out and buy it
The minute you get  her out of your spine
Then you begin to build it better

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jeff, refrain
Don't carry the wing upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool who pays full price
By building his stash through express mail-order
Na na na, na na, na na na na

Hey Jeff, don't let me down
You have found it, now go and buy it
Remember to get her outta your spine
Then you can start to build it better

So let her out and not back in, hey Jeff, begin
You're waiting for RLM76 on back-order
But don't know that light-blue will do? Hey Jeff, it'll do
The references you need are on the table
Na na na, na na, na na na na, yeah

Hey Jeff, don't build it bad
Take a bad kit and build it better
Remember to keep her outta your spine 
Then you begin to make it better
Better, better, better, better, better, oh!

Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jeff
Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jeff

Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jeff
Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jeff

Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jeff
Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jeff
?

OK I guess I can make lemonade outa that one.

Dr. Faust

Nah, the last two pretty much suck.

Hey Jeff, don't make it bad
Take a Horton and build it better
Remember to get her off of your back
Then you can begin to build it better

Hey Jeff, don't be afraid
It was made for you to go out and buy it
The minute you get  her out of your spine
Then you begin to build it better

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jeff, refrain
Don't carry the wing upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool who pays full price
By building his stash through express mail-order
Na na na, na na, na na na na

Hey Jeff, don't let me down
You have found it, now go and buy it
Remember to get her outta your spine
Then you can start to build it better

So let her out and not back in, hey Jeff, begin
You're waiting for RLM76 on back-order
But don't know that light-blue will do? Hey Jeff, it'll do
The references you need are on the table
Na na na, na na, na na na na, yeah

Hey Jeff, don't build it bad
Take a bad kit and build it better
Remember to keep her outta your spine 
Then you begin to make it better
Better, better, better, better, better, oh!

Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jeff
Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jeff

Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jeff
Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jeff

Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jeff
Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jeff
?

Nah, the last two pretty much suck.

Picture yourself in a thread on a forum
With olive-drab tanks and a rubber-spine device
Somebody calls you, "MOJO", you answer quite slowly
A girl with an optivisor eye

Celluclay flowers of yellow and green
Priced waaaaaaaaaay over your head
Look for the girl with $229 in her purse
And she's gone

Horton in the sky with rhinestones
Horton in the sky with rhinestones
Horton in the sky with rhinestones
Aaaaaah

Follow Jeff down to a bar by the mall
Where mocking people give him the eye
Everyone smiles as he walks by your stash  
That grows so incredibly high

Plastistrut Zuihos appear on the shore
Waiting to take Jeff away
Climb on the deck with his head in her ***
And he's gone

Horton in the sky with rhinestones
Horton in the sky with rhinestones
Horton in the sky with rhinestones
Aaaaaah

Picture yourself in a courtyard dio
With resin-wheeled wagons and cat-hair for hay
Suddenly someone is there at the corner
The girl that will blow Jeff away

Horton in the sky with rhinestones
Horton in the sky with rhinestones
Horton in the sky with rhinestones
Aaaaaah
Horton in the sky with diamonds
Horton in the sky with diamonds
Horton in the sky with diamonds
Aaaaaah
Horton in the sky with diamonds
Horton in the sky with diamonds
Horton in the sky with diamonds...

BRAVO! 

Another early Beatles classic before the rewrite:

Oh yeah, I´ll tell you something
I think you'll understand
When he says that's something
I wanna hold your Wing
I wanna hold your Wing
I wanna hold your Wing

Oh, please, Jeff says to me
Let me hold your Wing
And please, say to me

You'll let me hold your Wing
Now let me hold your Wing
I wanna hold your Wing

And when I touch sprue i feel happy, inside
It's such a feeling
That from his wife
Jeff can't hide
Jeff can't hide
Jeff can't hide

Yeah Jeff, got that something
I think we all understand
When he says to someone
I wanna hold your Wing
I wanna hold your Wing
I wanna hold your Wing

And when I touch sprue I feel happy, inside
It's such a feeling
That from his wife
He can't hide
He can't hide
He can't hide

Yeah Jeff, got that something
I think we all understand
When he says to someone
I wanna hold your Wing
I wanna hold your Wing
I wanna hold your Wing
I wanna hold your Ho-or-ton!  

Paint It Gray

(More apologies to Keith and Mick)

I see a green tank and I want it painted gray

No olive anymore I want them to be gray

I see a tank roll by in MERDC

I have to turn my head until it goes by me

I see a line of trucks and they’re all painted gray

With guns and rockets each in a shade of gray

I see people turn their heads they’re all dressed in gray

Like a new born baby it just happens eve’ry day

No more will my green sea turn a deeper blue

I want no color but a grayish hue

If I pray hard enough to the rising moon

I'll get more gray paint here before noon.

I look inside myself and see my heart is gray

I see my Sherman that I just painted gray

Maybe now I’ll paint eveything just in my own way

It’s so easy painting stuff when it’s just simply gray

I see a green tank and I want to paint it  gray

No olive anymore I want them to be gray

I see a tank roll by in MERDC

I have to turn my head until it goes by me

Hmmm,hmmm,hmmm

I wanna see it painted gray, painted gray

Gray as clouds , gray as rain

I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky

I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted gray

Yeah!

Hmmm,hmmm,hmmm

Oh, Dora

(after Wild Horses with apologies to Keith and Mick)

Waitng for Dora was so hard for me

The railgun I wanted, I bought it for me.

Six foot cannon on a rail stand,

Can’t hold this model in both my hands.

Oh, Dora, I can’t finish today;

Oh, my Dora, I build you some day.

You watched me suffer sharp aching pains,

Blades cut my fingers again and again.

No open seams and hard to fit parts

Could make me feel bitter or break my heart.

Oh, Dora, I can’t finish today.

Oh, my Dora, I build you some day.

I know I dreamed at  AMPS you’d win gold,

But I can’t complete you 'til I get old.

Tracks have been broken, tears must be cried.

I’ll do some living and put you aside

Oh, Dora, I can’t finish today.

Oh, my Dora, I build you some day.

Oh, Dora, can’t finish today.

Oh, my Dora, I complete you some day.

Stage_Left

Manstein's revenge:

Glue It Together

Here come old Jeff. He come crawling up slowly
He got Horton wingnuts. He's one spinelss MOJO
He got parts hanging from his trees
Got to be a joker he just do what she please

Build me! Build me! Build me!

She wears his makeup she's got shoe collection
She got walnut crackers she shoots poison arrows
She say "I can spend, you can-not"
One thing I can tell you is it better be free
Glue it together right now, if its free.

Build me! Build me! Build me!

He buy Ebay specials he got coupon cutters 
He's got Hammer's wallet he's one spineless bagger
He's got Horton blinders and that's all he sees
Holds it in his hands he can feel the weight of the trees 
Glue it together right now, if its free.

He's a dry-brushing MOHO he wants vacu-forming
He's got muddy washes he's got cloudy filters
He say "Two and Two and Nine 'aint free"
Got to be a good shopper cause the kit it 'aint free
Glue it together right now over me.

Build me! Build me! Build me!

Owwww!

[solo]

 

Impressive...and very nice. Consider copywriting this; there may be an ambitious group of fellows from....oh, I don't know, Liverpool maybe.....who'd want to rearrange the words and call it their own.....

Manstein's revenge

Glue It Together

Here come old Jeff. He come crawling up slowly
He got Horton wingnuts. He's one spinelss MOJO
He got parts hanging from his trees
Got to be a joker he just do what she please

Build me! Build me! Build me!

She wears his makeup she's got shoe collection
She got walnut crackers she shoots poison arrows
She say "I can spend, you can-not"
One thing I can tell you is it better be free
Glue it together right now, if its free.

Build me! Build me! Build me!

He buy Ebay specials he got coupon cutters 
He's got Hammer's wallet he's one spineless bagger
He's got Horton blinders and that's all he sees
Holds it in his hands he can feel the weight of the trees 
Glue it together right now, if its free.

He's a dry-brushing MOHO he wants vacu-forming
He's got muddy washes he's got cloudy filters
He say "Two and Two and Nine 'aint free"
Got to be a good shopper cause the kit it 'aint free
Glue it together right now over me.

Build me! Build me! Build me!

Owwww!

[solo]

Impressive...and very nice. Consider copywriting this; there may be an ambitious group of fellows from....oh, I don't know, Liverpool maybe.....who'd want to rearrange the words and call it their own.....

All the Forum's indeed a stage, and we are merely builders

We post while CA cures

Each another's audience inside Aaron's guilded cage.......

iraqiwildman

Touching during this holiday season.

Touching during this holiday season.