Ten things I don't want to hear

From the guy in crash crew, wearing a fire suit and pointing an extinguisher at you as you put the tire back on the KC130-- "Is it still burning/"

What about: "Dont worry, it's only a little problem - all is under control" !

3 things that entice me to build more models and the sounds that follow.

Cats-I even tried hanging my planes from the ceiling, doesn't work. Cats can fly.
Kids-Crack, snap, pop, WACK, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Trains - I lived next to the railroad tracks, so the sound of a train was followed by the sound of plastic shattering on the floor.

Since my planes hung from the ceiling, the sound of the ceiling fan set on high.

My shop is in the basement, so the sound of gushing water can be unsettling. Plastic floats.

I always liked this quote from Peter Hathaway Capstick: "The loudest noise in the world is a 'click' when you were expecting a 'bang'."

I don't think he had any misfires during his career as a PWH or as a game ranger in Botswana, but in one of his last books he recounts the tale of his only personal lion hunt, during which nearly a dozen rounds were expended to put ONE lion down. The last shot was fired at a range of only 15 yards (a bit too close, in my opinion...but then I'm not much for bothering dangerous animals). During the whole CF, the PWH that was guiding Capstick had 2 misfires and 3 hangfires (as in 'click'...wait for it...not yet...any minute now...don't open the action yet...just be patient-BANG!).

Not fun at all.

Kent

For me the one thing I never wanted to hear was.............................. Platoon commander " I have the map and compass...... follow me"

OR

"Yeah the cat eats plastic, strange huh?"

Anything that starts with..."Ah...I have a confession to make".. and when a pilot says "I did a little of my own troubleshooting, and I think the problem is this broken wire, or that broken object, when the switch was in the O-F-F posittion.

one of my least favourite things to hear is "sorry its out of stock" usually followed - after my next question - by" no they ain't, the mold is in for repair"

and also, "the model shop phoned today, i thought you said that model you ordered only cost..............."
Greg

Dropping the part, usually clear, thus precluding repair...........

........getting up, stepping back......

.....CRUNCH........

'Hello, spares hotline, my ??????? appears to be missing part no.????'

Karl

How about, " Uncle Scott, that model helicopter just fell off the shelf all by itself."
Scott

How bout:

Honey, I vacuumed you model room last night. Yeah, I already tossed the bag, today was trash day stupid.

When my 19 year old brings his college buddies to the house:
Hey dude, does it fly............crash!

Why do you have so many still in boxes?

You don't need another model?

It cost how much?

When are you going to clean this mess?

How can you work in here?

I think the basement flooded. . .

(Insert son/daughter name here) Had a school project so they went down and got one of your models to build, you have so many.

Yes it's nice, what does it do?

It just sits there?

How many of those little paint thingys do you really need?

Odd how these sayings bring a tear to the eye or a knowing nod.

Don

Hobbyroom cleaning by foreigners to model making should be made criminal offence.
The most annoying thing is that they make you feel guilty afterwards...."Comeon its only silly toys" is the killing motto. .......

QUOTE: Originally posted by rangerj You go to draw a parachute, and the stumbling drunk you saw at the Enlisted Mens Club the night before is a "rigger". Oh S**t! Has anyone else put something some where, and find that it somehow moved somewhere else all by it self? No one moved it, nor did they see it. Maybe the dog moved it, and isn't talking? One of these days I'm going to Super Glue something of mine to the kitchen table, just to see what "she" does! I know, it's my fault I married her!rangerj

Reminds me of the book "Who moved my cheese ?"

Heh.. My dad was informed that there was bird debris on the runway after he took off.. And low and behold he had had a bird strike. A seagull into the nosegear well of the Saab 340.

According to him the smell of fish was horrible..

Here's one that an airframe mechanic absolutely hates:

Birdstrike

You go to draw a parachute, and the stumbling drunk you saw at the Enlisted Mens Club the night before is a "rigger". Oh S**t!

Has anyone else put something some where, and find that it somehow moved somewhere else all by it self? No one moved it, nor did they see it. Maybe the dog moved it, and isn't talking? One of these days I'm going to Super Glue something of mine to the kitchen table, just to see what "she" does! I know, it's my fault I married her!rangerj

Hey all,
Heres another good one,
What a WSZO/RIO does not want to hear coming from the front seat!
Watch this..!! followed by AAHHH SH*T
Flaps up, Mike

Bad things to hear:
The sounds of a cat digging in a room not equiped with a litter box.
Silence when there are little kids or cats around.
Gnawing coming from a room other than where the gerbil/hamster/... is supposed to be.
A crash followed by a lot of swearing from my bedroom. (Models and ceramics)

"Don't worry; I'm going for help" - from your pilot as he cinches up his 'chute harness and opens the aft door

How 'bout -- "Honey, we have to talk."

How about: "The good news is that i fixed your TV/car/computer. The bad news is that i have all these left over bits."
Also i don't like it when the pilot of your flight gets on the intercom and gives you the "Welcome to flight 1234... blah, blah" and he stops in the middle of the sentence. I imagine that all the warning lights in the cockpit are going off at the same time!

I think I have heard some of those things around here in the past (especially after A. during the first few months of marriage and B. not long after each of my boys learned how to walk) Here's some other statements that I have heard over the last 30 odd years.

Statements (or prefaces) which can cause fear at AT (Summer Camp)

2nd Lt "It's been my experience that ......"
Capt "I've got this great Idea"
Sgt "Hey guys, watch this"

The four most feared things around an aircraft

1. Smoke
2. Flame
3. Loud noises
4. Sudden silences

And you just thought it happened around models! lol

H ow's about "Opps" from the doctor as he is using a very sharp scalpel?

why is it that if you scratch a part, odds are that it's clear?

Hey all,
A year or two ago at our annual mall show I had a few a/c on club display.
My lovely F-16 was up in front showing her stuff when this lil runt I mean lil boy came and closed the canopy. I was shocked to have seen this happen right before my eyes. It happened so quickly that we could not respond fast enough. The parents were right there when he did it too.
The funny thing was that there was a sign right next to the plane which read: "Please Do Not Touch". I guess reading was not one of there strong points..!! LOL
Just to hear the sound of white glue and plastic snapping can make ones stomach go...!!

Heres a few for ya,
1. O look dad the bombs can be dropped.
2. Dad, was that suppose to do that..??
3. O look dear, Fido found himself a new chew toy
4. Dear, why is your hand stuck to your forehead and why is the superglue empty?
5. Hun, a few of these thinga-ma-bobs came off while I was dusting in your room!!.. You did what??
6. A few of bobby's friends came down to see your model room, they have been really quite ever since!
7. Why does FSM make it look so easy..LOL
8. I see lil billy used my paints for finger painting again.
9. Can I spin the propeller?
10. Mommy, why is daddy on his hands and knees looking at the floor. Hey mommy what did he just say???
Flaps up, Mike

Things you don't want to hear?
Mine was a bit of a freakout -
While in traction (just out of ICU as a matter of fact) after a particularly nasty motorcycle accident, my darling mother (bless her little cotton socks) tried to lighten the moment by saying:
"I washed the dust off all your model planes by running them under water - were the decals supposed to come off and float away like that?"
I was not impressed.

I also don't want to hear "Does THIS turn?" Followed by the sound of snapping styrene.
Cheers
LeeTree

Two things that I can't stand:

1. The smell of burning rubber
2. The sound of a screaming woman

Boy,

I was wondering if the "Black Hole" was a condition that just I suffered from!! Sure am relieved to see others saying it happens to them too!

My wife doesn't come in my modeling room, and my older teenager doesn't want to, so I'm responsible for what cleaning gets done, but in all that cleaning, I rarely find any of the objects that have succomed to the Devils Triangle between my legs!!!

Also, here's something else you can think about: "If your work desk is 4' x 2', wonder why your work area's only 5" x 2"?

Frank

"how come the wheels on that airplane can't roll"?