Worst Ship Model you have ever built

Manny's Zuiho is the WORST ship model he ever built???

It looked really nice, Manny. Why was it so bad? Oops, walked into that one, didn't I

...the Zuiho...

Here's a fond memory of the good, bad and the ugly. The Aurora "Chinese Junk" which was about 1/68.

The one with the black plastic hull, and orange cast sail/ battens, big pieces they were too like about 6" square.

I had read, and this was about '63-64, Ernest Gann's book "Soldier of Fortune", where a sailor named Hank Lee has a black market operation in the Hong Kong underworld running illicit... well you get the picture. So he gets hired by Miss fresh-off-the-farm to go into China circa 1950 and rescue her husband who's in jail. He has a boat, a junk, the Chicago, and pulls off the caper. But during the escape, they are pursued by a Chinese gunboat, at which point he drops the transom revealing an Oerlikon cannon, with which they bang away at their pursuers until...

BTW the book and the movie have different endings, at least the Gable one.

Lots of sweaty girl in her skimpies loading shells into , oh never mind. So I had to do it. My first kit bash, wish o wish I had her still. I used a 1/8" diameter piece of silver plastic rod from a GI Joe .30 tripod that broke in a dirt clod war in the back yard as the barrel, and I was a happy 3rd grader. Long live the Chicago!

As I think back on it, there were a lot, really a lot of fun sailing ship models back in the '60's. We've all touched on quite a few, and they were all a good thing when you were a kid and had 79 cents burning a hole in your chinos. After all, Testors paint was only 15 cents.

The Lindberg Bismarck and Tirpitz were bad enough . . . how about their HMS Hood?

 Bill Morrison

At the merry age of 15, having built the big Revell Constitution with my mom during a summer, and then the Thermo and the Kearsarge on my own with newspaper money, mom bought the Aurora Bon Homme Richard for my birthday. It was a huge pile of unbuildable brown plastic, I think it had molded shroud/ratlines, and sails.

On a positive note, at about the same time I won the Revell Oriana at a contest. What a beaut! I recall a piece of metallic green paper foil that was to be glued into the bottom of the swimming pool! I'd build her again.

Edit: on a google search which found numerous examples for $ 4 or so, I came to the conclusion that my memories are probably nicer than reality. However it did yield this nice little website with online instruction sheets:

http://www.nowonline.at/service.php?page=1&language=en&pID=704

JMart wrote:

The revell "pirate ship". I got it for my daughter, big fan of the POC movie. What a piece of junk. Actually, since I never bothered finishing it, does not qualfy as worst BUILT ;)

That ship is actually the Chicken of the Sea ship that was a restaurant at Disneyland

Only real diffirence is the art work on the stern should be a mermaid and tuna fish instead of the Jolly Roger.

There should also be a mermaid on the bow.

Twords the end before they demolished it for something else they renamed it Captain Hooks Jolly Roger and removed the mermaid off the bow and repainded the stern in one color.

Aft
 

 

I think the worst one I have ever built was the Lindberg Bismark.

 

Eric... 

Well, i nthe spirit of this thread, the most dissappointing kit I ever built would have to be the (old) Revell SS United States..

You got only a semi-hull, the insides were completely hollow, it was box scale and not very consistently and had about seven parts.

So, it built faster than it painted, which was tough for needing only four colors of paint. and when you were done, what did you have?  At least the hull bottom was flat, it'd sit on any surface it was left upon.

No doubt for me it's the Pyro/Life-Like/Lindberg 'American President Liner'.  Very little detail and much of it wrong. Parts that don't fit, decals that are a joke, and instructions that will lead the builder to make it less accurate.

The passage of time only makes the insult worse because Lindberg has the gall to re-issue it at over $20, but I suppose if somebody wants a base for extensive scratch building that's better than paying even more for an old kit on eBay.

Fred

Is that the big 1/96 Cutty Sark?  I built that once a long time back, and I agree, a most excellent ship model!  There are a number of others I like very much too, and it is quite difficult to choose between them, as each is memorable in one way or another.  'La Flore' is quite good too, and can be done up in any number of different color schemes, the Revell 'America' was an excellent model for its day as well.  Simple, but well-molded and makes up into a really attractive model (and you can play with the color scheme of that one too!)....

I'll hack into my own thread and ask the opposite question. Which is the best Kit you hace built and why? The one that I have built and like the most is Revell's Cutty Sark. It has just got that something about it that I have made her a least four times.

In any case.... I also remember a disaster (self-inflicted!) involving a 1/700 scale 'Kongo' from one of the Japanese manufacturers, though I can't remember which.  It was just after the 'waterline' kits hit the market and I was about 10 years old, and for some reason the words 'Waterline' plainly printed on the box didn't sink in at all ('reading comprehension 101'), which I thought was merely some sort of expression to label a new line of kits.  In any case, when I got home and opened the box (they wouldn't let you open the box at the shop in those days, and if you opened, it, you bought it!), I was scandalized to find what appeared to be HALF of the model missing!!  Not willing to admit my mistake by bringing the model back to the shop, I decided I would make a lower hull piece for it out of wood.  As my wood-working skills in those days were almost non-existent, you can imagine it was more than a little rough!  Finally, i decided that this was all going so badly, i might as well take a stab at converting the thing to its original WW1 layout by scratch-building a tripod mast, etc, but the results just got worse and worse.... In any event, the Kongo, through no fault of its own, was eventually turned into a painting practise model, and for that, it served a useful purpose at last.......

Hi Guys,

This is a good discussion topic, but let's remember to show some respect to those with differing opinions. 

Carry on ...

Kelly, FSM

Back to the basic idea of the thread, does anybody remember the Aurora DD USS Halford?

Bill Morrison

Crackers, I think the point you have missed is the title of the thread 'Worst ship model you have ever built!'  Until your entry, we were having a lovely time chuckling over some of our worst efforts based on some of the worst kits from the days of yore (some of which, despite all odds, that continue to be produced!).  If the title of the thread was 'Gee, I sure wish I could make perfect models of anything I wanted to,' then your comments would have been germain, and not strike almost exactly the wrong note of egotism and bombast!

  I was mildly surprised at some of the negative comments posted about my suggestion that modelers who are dissatisfied with inferior quality kits, or unable to find a kit of the vessel of their desire, instead scratch build a model. Would someone in the vast Forum audience please explain to me what is so offensive about this opinion?

   It can be done. At the risk of sounding egotistic and bombastic, I have made two sailing ship scatch built models and am preserntly working on a third model. My comment is not to promote Ships in Scale magazine, but to emphasize that this route can be successfully accomplished given the desire, proper tools and research. In just about every issue, some author submits an article of a scratch built model. Judging by the photographs with the article, the results would put me to shame on the quality of the author's work.

  As I wrote on my previous post, in my humble opinion, the inner satisfaction of completing a scatch model with out assembling plastic part A to part B after glueing, is worthwhile, to just to see the product of your own hands and know that one did not depend on a kit. By-the way, I have used popsicle sticks on my models, they make convincing deck surfaces when cut to proper scale.

                    Montani semper liberi !  Happy modeling to all and ever one of you.

                                            Crackers    

 

 

I challenge you to do something useful with the Aurora 1/600 Bismarck.  For you, it would be a perfect joy that you'll be fooling with for years (and STILL never do anything useful with it!)!

Substitute "Wanderer Whaler" for 1/600 Bismark, and your challenge is already accepted. :) :) The only "modern" warships I have any desire to model, are the ones I served in, and doing a full hull FRAM II Sumner class DD, from a 1/700 waterline kit is no laughing matter either.....but I'm just crazy enough to be having fun with it. 

Normally I don't get in the middle of family feuds, but something hit a nerve.  Crackers are you talking about this level of modeling?

http://home-and-garden.webshots.com/album/550954925tCjrKx

This is a totally scratched built PT 109 60" long weighs 57 pounds, with 2 astro-flight electric 40,000 rpm motors and full reversing speed control. 

Also are repairing antiques considering modeling?  If so, hows this?

http://home-and-garden.webshots.com/album/560101039FzyJAf

I will build in ANY medium so long as the customers check clears the bank. But I prefere to build in plastic because of the nice detail afforded in some kits.  Crackers don't feel too bad about plastic, it ain't that bad.

crackers wrote:

At the risk that my opinion may sound like it came from the mouth of a space alien on the distant Andromeda galaxy, may I suggest that folks who complain about the lack of quality models, or who lament the often inaccurate models that exist on the market today, that they scatch build their own model. What a novel concept !    As an example, in the Nov/Dec 2008 issue of Ships in Scale, part I, there is a article by Joh L. Jones on how to build the Blue Jacket's U.S.S. Maine, with step-by-step photos. People who wish to follow the authors example can obtain plans from Taubman's Plan Service, or contact the Smithsonian Collection of Warship plans. True, if one goes by this route, it requires research, tools, skill and a desire to see the result of one's own work without the dependence on kits. Over time, the self satisfaction of accomplishment leaves a warm glow all over one's hairy body. Try it, you might enjoy the results. But first, write to the magazine, Ship in Scale for a back reprint of the vessel of your desire, then plunge head first into real model making !                Montani semper liberi  Happy modeling to all and every one of you.                                             Crackers

No, doesn't sound like a space alien, more like a @!#$@!@$%#@!...

Well, you were right in the first instance, in that we do burn aliens at the stake here!  Perhaps you didn't READ the title of this thread, which is 'Worst ship model you have ever built.'  Obviously, EVERY model you have EVER built has been from scratch, and came out perfectly (quick, get the firewood!), and that you have NEVER had ANY problem with ANY kit, because you have always whittled yours out of popsicle sticks, and perfectly to scale (pile it up by his feet boys!).  Further, since you have never built a mere 'kit,' you have never had any sympathy for those on the much 'lower scale' (light the kindling!) of modellers who can neither be bothered with cobbling together a ship merely from plans, or are people new to the hobby who just want a good kit they deal with straight out of the box.  So in support of your position (kick some more coals in and pile up the firewood against his legs, dammit!), certainly, everyone SHOULD aspire to scratch-building wood kits!

   At the risk that my opinion may sound like it came from the mouth of a space alien on the distant Andromeda galaxy, may I suggest that folks who complain about the lack of quality models, or who lament the often inaccurate models that exist on the market today, that they scatch build their own model. What a novel concept !

   As an example, in the Nov/Dec 2008 issue of Ships in Scale, part I, there is a article by Joh L. Jones on how to build the Blue Jacket's U.S.S. Maine, with step-by-step photos. People who wish to follow the authors example can obtain plans from Taubman's Plan Service, or contact the Smithsonian Collection of Warship plans. True, if one goes by this route, it requires research, tools, skill and a desire to see the result of one's own work without the dependence on kits. Over time, the self satisfaction of accomplishment leaves a warm glow all over one's hairy body. Try it, you might enjoy the results. But first, write to the magazine, Ship in Scale for a back reprint of the vessel of your desire, then plunge head first into real model making !

               Montani semper liberi  Happy modeling to all and every one of you.

                                            Crackers  

Bondoman,

Oh, yes! I remember 15 cent bottles of Testor's Enamel paint, as well as inexpensive kits.  I remember taking my 50 cents allowance every Friday and going to the local Dime store to buy my models (Pyro's Table Top Navy was my favorite).  By 11, I had educated myself about the ships I built and saw the very real flaws in the kits, notably the 1941 configuration on the port side of the Aurora and the Pyro Yamato kits and its 1945 configuration on the starboard side!  But, I was very disappointed by the USS Maine kit. I only built it once and quickly sank it in a local swamp.

Bill Morrison

i do believe the worst ship model i ever tangled with was the tanker shell welder offshore tanker . this was an imai venture and although it had nice lines the rails were out of scale and , are you ready ? VINYL ! yep ,vinyl . the portholes were off in both size and in shape . who ever heard of oval portholes !  the next worst was the model that appears once in a while the S.S, united stetes . the stacks were to big and none of the bulkhead detail was there . i had to use architects detail decals to make it look right and it still fell short . i don,t remember who made it though ..  i do believe that lindbergs efforts were not the best ,i found out that they made a good base for scratch building , and that because off price . i would NOT buy the tamiya 1/350 fletcher say , to convert it to a gearing or a radar picket . not at 45.00   !!!!  tankerbuilder   

I liked the Olympia at the time, but also remember the Maine as a pretty lousy model too...But cheap!  Speaking of the USS Maine, every once in a rare while on Ebay I see a Heller model in 1/400 scale that purports to be the 'Maine,' but the turrets are on the centerline and it is flying a French flag on the box art!  Does anyone know anything about that kit, and /or the ship it is representing?  I can't find any reference to a 'Maine' in the French navy of the time, though I may well be wrong.....

 

And speaking of cheapness, perhaps it might be a good idea to start a string extolling the benefits of a cheap line of ship models to get younger people interested in model-building.  For all we scoff at the old Pyro and Lindberg kits, they served a very definite purpose and filled a very well-defined niche 'back in the day.'   This is a niche that has seemingly been lost in the thrust towards ever-more detailed and accurate (and therefore very expensive!) kits.  While I love the kits being produced today for the most part, there doesn't seem to be much on the shelves that would encourage a young potential modeller to save his nicklels and dimes, mow lawns, shovel snow and other odd jobs.... Perhaps it is all the price of losing 'Woolworths' as a 'point of sales!'

warshipguy wrote:

If I remember the Pyro Maine correctly, it was a duplicate of the USS Olympia with off-set main battery turrets.  It bore no resemblance whatsoever to the USS Maine. Bill Morrison

Yes, but Bill, I built both, and they cost maybe $ 3.00 in 1966, and they were cast in white plastic, and you got to get out the precious jar of Testors GOLD that said 15 (cents-symbol) and just lay it on, while Admiral Dewey yelled " you may fire when ready, Gridley.." That's a great ship model in my estimation, nostalgia style.

Now I have to pay about $ 75 for the Asahi.

Just in fun. We are all builders, not just assemblers.

sumpter250 wrote:

Hi! Your local raving maniac here.......Worst; Adj. that which is too easy, does not provide any challenge, everything is there and fits perfectly, requires no modeling skill to assemble, has instructions that actually instruct.  As long as the major components are relatively accurate, and I can scratch the details that the kit doesn't provide.......I can carve off the offending stuff, and enjoy the art of superdetailing to the level I enjoy, or am willing to quit at. To put it simply, I am in the hobby of modelbuilding (trains, planes, cars, ships/boats, buildings, sci fi craft, etc.. So! the worst kit, would be the one that I couldn't do something with. The "worst kit", would be the "shake-and-bake" kit.....rattle the box a few times, and  POOF dump out the finished product....where's the fun in that!?

I challenge you to do something useful with the Aurora 1/600 Bismarck.  For you, it would be a perfect joy that you'll be fooling with for years (and STILL never do anything useful with it!)!

Wilbur Wright wrote:

After having built several Tamiya 350th ships which were fantastic , I made the mistake of buying a Hasegawa kit. It had no detail at all. I took it back into the shop and returned it after opening it in the parking lot.

Which Hasegawa kit?

If I remember the Pyro Maine correctly, it was a duplicate of the USS Olympia with off-set main battery turrets.  It bore no resemblance whatsoever to the USS Maine.

Bill Morrison

After having built several Tamiya 350th ships which were fantastic , I made the mistake of buying a Hasegawa kit.

It had no detail at all. I took it back into the shop and returned it after opening it in the parking lot.

My nomination is the USS Maine by Pyro. You know a model is going to be bad when they put a caveat on the box "The within model is similar to the 'Maine' but not an identical replica"! Warped parts, sink holes throughout and no detail - definately a candidate for pond pyrotechnics...