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To toast or not to toast... That is the question.

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  • Member since
    July, 2014
To toast or not to toast... That is the question.
Posted by Bakster on Thursday, October 12, 2017 11:59 AM
I am not afraid to poke fun at myself, here is a story for you.
 
It appears that I have a toaster dysfunction. This is mainly true with the toaster at work. That thing seems to be designed just to mess with me. Part of my daily morning work ritual is to get some coffee from the kitchen, and while I am there, toast some Pop-Tarts. Pop-Tarts are easy to make. Unless, it is with the industrial unit our company purchased. It never fails that they would burn, and not only that, the pop-tarts would fall into the unit when it trips. I’d have to flip the toaster over to get them out. Plop they go onto the counter, along with the crumbs of dozens of employee toastings. I eventually found a workaround for the latter problem by propping the pop-tarts against the back wall of the unit.  That stopped them from falling in. The burning issue however, continued.  I tried different settings and I didn’t seem to get much of a change. Ultimately, I resorted to hovering over the toaster to make sure it didn’t get too dark. This is a hit or miss process because I get distracted by others in the kitchen that are yapping with me. After several months of this, a coworker, (Carol), was tired of my plight. She looks at the darkness setting and says, “You dumb ###. It’s because you have it set too high!”  Dumfounded, I tell her that I have it set to medium.  She checks it and says no you don’t. That is the dark setting. Doh!  On this stupid toaster, the middle position is dark. Well, that explains the burning problem. I never bring my readers to the kitchen, so there was no way that I’d see that. Heck—I didn’t even know they had markings on it. Shaking my head.
 
Fast forward to this morning. I am in kitchen getting coffee and I drop some bagels in the toaster. Carol is there with me when another coworker (Peter) from IT comes in.  Carol LOVES to rip on me, so she tells Peter about my toaster dysfunction. They are having a good ole time, and I laugh with them.  To my chagrin Peter says, “So… he has problems with toasters. Like right now? The toaster is not even plugged in.”  I look---and sure enough… someone unplugged the dang thing. I did not see that one coming. #@$@#$@#
 
Carol walks away for a minute… and I am talking with Peter.  After a bit, Peter goes, “are you sure the toaster is even pushed down.” I’m thinking… of course…what kind of an idiot do you think I am.  I say, “Yeah, I pushed it.  He says, “I don’t think it is.”  So I try it.  Son of a beep!!!  Because it was unplugged, it didn’t lock. Ugh…
 
Carol comes back in and Peter is quick to tell Carol about my latest plight.  I am still reeling from all of this when Peter goes… “are you checking it?” Again, I am thinking, what kind of an idiot do you think I am. I say “no,” but, just in case, I had better look. It is hard to see into this monstrosity, but it did seem to be browning. To eliminate anymore fodder for these two, I decided that I had better not take a chance by burning them. So... I trip the toaster. Oh but wait, now the bagels are stuck in the darn thing. I take a plastic fork out of the drawer and start digging, and digging, and digging.  Meanwhile, Peter and Carol are laughing at me. Finally, in exasperation, I push the handle down some and push it up fast in an attempt to move them up. What happens?  They both fly out and land on the counter. Carol was nearly on the floor laughing. Sigh…
 
That darn toaster may be the death of me.

 

                                                    

 

  • Member since
    September, 2012
Posted by GMorrison on Thursday, October 12, 2017 12:14 PM

And what's your job?

operating delicate lab equipment?

 

  • Member since
    July, 2014
Posted by Bakster on Thursday, October 12, 2017 12:27 PM

GMorrison

And what's your job?

operating delicate lab equipment?

 

 

Don't tell anyone but I process spent nuclear fuel rods. Yes

 

  • Member since
    September, 2016
Posted by Retired In Kalifornia on Thursday, October 12, 2017 12:35 PM

Speaking Of Toasters...

Memories Here For The Commodore Amiga 2000 Folks 

  • Member since
    March, 2007
  • From: Northeast WA State
Posted by armornut on Thursday, October 12, 2017 1:07 PM

ROFLMAO, and I though I was bad. Great story Bakster

we're modelers it's what we do

  • Member since
    February, 2003
  • From: Green Bay, WI USA
Posted by echolmberg on Thursday, October 12, 2017 1:28 PM

Bakster, you have me beat hands down.  There's no topping that one.  The closest I can come to that is from the toaster my wife and I had several years ago.  One day I was getting ready for work and decided to have piece of toast before I left the house.  This was my wife's toaster from even before we got married which meant I didn't know all of its quirks.  

I put the bread in and pushed the handle down.  As I was waiting for the toast to pop, I did a quick clean-up of the kitchen.  While doing that, I heard the unmistakable "ker-chunk" sound of the toast popping up.  I turned towards the toaster....and there was no toast!  For a split second I thought I had gone nuts and I started to think that maybe I never did put any bread in.  After looking around for a while, I finally found the toast behind the fridge.  I completely forgot that my wife's toaster had quite the powerful kick when the toast was done.  It catapulted my breakfast out and onto the floor behind the fridge.  Eventually, my wife and I got tired of searching for our breakfast so we got a new toaster.

Eric

  • Member since
    July, 2014
Posted by Bakster on Thursday, October 12, 2017 1:42 PM

Eric, that is a good story too! lol.

 

  • Member since
    January, 2013
Posted by BlackSheepTwoOneFour on Thursday, October 12, 2017 3:39 PM

Dorks with toasters..... ROFLMAO!!

  • Member since
    September, 2012
Posted by GMorrison on Thursday, October 12, 2017 3:48 PM

I travel a lot on business. Know the quirks  of every toaster La Quinta owns in CA.

 

  • Member since
    February, 2003
Posted by Jim Barton on Thursday, October 12, 2017 5:58 PM

echolmberg

Bakster, you have me beat hands down.  There's no topping that one.  The closest I can come to that is from the toaster my wife and I had several years ago.  One day I was getting ready for work and decided to have piece of toast before I left the house.  This was my wife's toaster from even before we got married which meant I didn't know all of its quirks.  

I put the bread in and pushed the handle down.  As I was waiting for the toast to pop, I did a quick clean-up of the kitchen.  While doing that, I heard the unmistakable "ker-chunk" sound of the toast popping up.  I turned towards the toaster....and there was no toast!  For a split second I thought I had gone nuts and I started to think that maybe I never did put any bread in.  After looking around for a while, I finally found the toast behind the fridge.  I completely forgot that my wife's toaster had quite the powerful kick when the toast was done.  It catapulted my breakfast out and onto the floor behind the fridge.  Eventually, my wife and I got tired of searching for our breakfast so we got a new toaster.

Eric

 

 

If you have a cat, you could have used the toaster as a cat toy. Somebody on my astronomy forums had a toaster that did the same thing: propel the toast through the air. Their cat learned how to catch the toast in its mouth or with its paws!

"Whaddya mean 'Who's flying the plane?!' Nobody's flying the plane!"

  • Member since
    November, 2003
  • From: State of Mississippi. State motto: Virtute et armis (By valor and arms)
Posted by mississippivol on Thursday, October 12, 2017 10:08 PM

That's when I show up the next day with a butane torch to start browning my toastWink

  • Member since
    July, 2014
Posted by Bakster on Friday, October 13, 2017 7:21 AM

mississippivol

That's when I show up the next day with a butane torch to start browning my toastWink

 

Lol... That works. I am plum out of butane. So... today, I am bringing a muffin. No toasting involved.

 

  • Member since
    May, 2013
  • From: Indiana, USA
Posted by Greg on Friday, October 13, 2017 7:31 AM

Not bad, Stevie. Geeked

I'll try to remember to stay away from technology when we meet up one day.

-Greg

  • Member since
    November, 2009
  • From: SW Virginia
Posted by Gamera on Friday, October 13, 2017 8:20 AM

Retired In Kalifornia

Speaking Of Toasters...

Memories Here For The Commodore Amiga 2000 Folks 

 

Awesome! I remember the Video Toaster from it being used in the CGI on the first season on the TV series Babylon 5. Back when CGI was pretty new and cool and not used in everything! 

Always wanted an Amiga but was in college so I ended up using a C-64 right up to the early '90s when I finally could afford my first PC gaming rig.  

"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed." -G.K. Chesterton

 

  • Member since
    November, 2009
  • From: SW Virginia
Posted by Gamera on Friday, October 13, 2017 8:24 AM

Speaking of stupid-ville the riding lawnmower at work had been slowly leaking oil. Well, the other week I jumped on the mower and started mowing until the mower just stopped. Looked her over and oh well- there wasn't a drop of oil in her. 

I was terrified I'd locked the thing up but thankfully the maintanance guy found there was a switch that turned it off before I locked her up...... Dunce

"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed." -G.K. Chesterton

 

  • Member since
    July, 2014
Posted by Bakster on Friday, October 13, 2017 1:30 PM

Gamera

Speaking of stupid-ville the riding lawnmower at work had been slowly leaking oil. Well, the other week I jumped on the mower and started mowing until the mower just stopped. Looked her over and oh well- there wasn't a drop of oil in her. 

I was terrified I'd locked the thing up but thankfully the maintanance guy found there was a switch that turned it off before I locked her up...... Dunce

 

You lucked out my friend.  Yes

 

  • Member since
    July, 2014
Posted by Bakster on Friday, October 13, 2017 1:35 PM

Greg

Not bad, Stevie. Geeked

I'll try to remember to stay away from technology when we meet up one day.

 

I'm not sure what you mean by that, Greg. Are you insinuating that I'm technology challenged? I beg to differ. I can't help it that the toaster is a hunk of junk. Lol.

Wink

 

 

  • Member since
    March, 2013
Posted by patrick206 on Friday, October 13, 2017 2:59 PM

At my advanced age I have learned this very well, the setting controls on any toaster are connected to absolutely NOTHING.

Crumpets warmed in the microwave for me.

Patrick

  • Member since
    July, 2014
Posted by Bakster on Friday, October 13, 2017 5:49 PM

patrick206

At my advanced age I have learned this very well, the setting controls on any toaster are connected to absolutely NOTHING.

Crumpets warmed in the microwave for me.

Patrick

 

And there is wisdom.

 

  • Member since
    March, 2005
  • From: Lancaster, South Carolina
Posted by Devil Dawg on Friday, October 13, 2017 8:03 PM

echolmberg

Bakster, you have me beat hands down.  There's no topping that one.  The closest I can come to that is from the toaster my wife and I had several years ago.  One day I was getting ready for work and decided to have piece of toast before I left the house.  This was my wife's toaster from even before we got married which meant I didn't know all of its quirks.  

I put the bread in and pushed the handle down.  As I was waiting for the toast to pop, I did a quick clean-up of the kitchen.  While doing that, I heard the unmistakable "ker-chunk" sound of the toast popping up.  I turned towards the toaster....and there was no toast!  For a split second I thought I had gone nuts and I started to think that maybe I never did put any bread in.  After looking around for a while, I finally found the toast behind the fridge.  I completely forgot that my wife's toaster had quite the powerful kick when the toast was done.  It catapulted my breakfast out and onto the floor behind the fridge.  Eventually, my wife and I got tired of searching for our breakfast so we got a new toaster.

Eric

 

I would LOVE to have that toaster!! You still got it?

Devil Dawg

On The Bench: Travel 1/48th Hasegawa A-7 Corsair II;  Travel 1/48th Hasegawa F/A-18F Super Hornet;  Travel 1/48th Eduard/Hasegawa Ultimate Sabre with "MiG Mad Marine" markings;

Build one at a time? Hah! That'll be the day!!

  • Member since
    March, 2005
  • From: Lancaster, South Carolina
Posted by Devil Dawg on Friday, October 13, 2017 8:05 PM

GMorrison

I travel a lot on business. Know the quirks  of every toaster La Quinta owns in CA.

La Quinta: Spanish for "Behind Denny's". At least, out here on the southeast coast anyways. Look for Denny's, and, right behind it, a La Quinta Inn.

Devil Dawg

On The Bench: Travel 1/48th Hasegawa A-7 Corsair II;  Travel 1/48th Hasegawa F/A-18F Super Hornet;  Travel 1/48th Eduard/Hasegawa Ultimate Sabre with "MiG Mad Marine" markings;

Build one at a time? Hah! That'll be the day!!

  • Member since
    March, 2005
  • From: Lancaster, South Carolina
Posted by Devil Dawg on Friday, October 13, 2017 8:06 PM

Bakster
 
mississippivol

That's when I show up the next day with a butane torch to start browning my toastWink 

 

Lol... That works. I am plum out of butane. So... today, I am bringing a muffin. No toasting involved. 

 

No microwave at the office, huh?

Devil Dawg

On The Bench: Travel 1/48th Hasegawa A-7 Corsair II;  Travel 1/48th Hasegawa F/A-18F Super Hornet;  Travel 1/48th Eduard/Hasegawa Ultimate Sabre with "MiG Mad Marine" markings;

Build one at a time? Hah! That'll be the day!!

  • Member since
    May, 2013
  • From: Indiana, USA
Posted by Greg on Saturday, October 14, 2017 6:54 AM

patrick206

At my advanced age I have learned this very well, the setting controls on any toaster are connected to absolutely NOTHING.

Crumpets warmed in the microwave for me.

Patrick

 

Ha!

-Greg

  • Member since
    July, 2012
  • From: Douglas AZ
Posted by littletimmy on Saturday, October 14, 2017 5:27 PM

Bakster
Don't tell anyone but I process spent nuclear fuel rods. 

Could'nt you use those to toast the toast? 

Who know's you could end up with a "super power"...........

( Able to glue part's at an ASTOUNDING rate!)

 

 

 Just so you dont feel you're alone....... I managed to lock myself out of my concrete truck at work a few day's ago.........PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                      Dont worry about the thumbprint... paint it rust and call it "Battle damage" !

  • Member since
    September, 2016
Posted by Retired In Kalifornia on Saturday, October 14, 2017 5:31 PM

patrick206

At my advanced age I have learned this very well, the setting controls on any toaster are connected to absolutely NOTHING.

Crumpets warmed in the microwave for me.

Patrick

 

Remember TVs having controls that did nothing well as knobs in 1950s autos, also bought model kits with parts that weren't connected to anything.

  • Member since
    July, 2014
Posted by Bakster on Saturday, October 14, 2017 6:17 PM

littletimmy

 

 
Bakster
Don't tell anyone but I process spent nuclear fuel rods. 

 

Could'nt you use those to toast the toast? 

Who know's you could end up with a "super power"...........

( Able to glue part's at an ASTOUNDING rate!)

 

 

 Just so you dont feel you're alone....... I managed to lock myself out of my concrete truck at work a few day's ago.........PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Say LT, maybe so! And very funny about the super power... Smile

Let me tell you something else. Spent fuel rods can be repurposed to make great bug zappers. Their green glow attracts mosquitos like nothing else. 

Zap!

Zap! Zap!

Zap!

Bad news bears about locking the keys in the truck!

PS: Let me put your minds at ease. I don't actually work on spent nuclear fuel rods. Phew.

 

 

  • Member since
    July, 2014
Posted by Bakster on Saturday, October 14, 2017 6:20 PM

Devil Dawg

 

 
Bakster
 
mississippivol

That's when I show up the next day with a butane torch to start browning my toastWink 

 

Lol... That works. I am plum out of butane. So... today, I am bringing a muffin. No toasting involved. 

 

 

 

No microwave at the office, huh?

 

Actually, we have six microwaves. They don't toast toast very well though.No 

 

  • Member since
    July, 2012
  • From: Douglas AZ
Posted by littletimmy on Saturday, October 14, 2017 7:16 PM

Bakster
Bad news bears about locking the keys in the truck!

Oh I didn't just lock the key's in........ it was running and I had 10 yard's of concrete spinning around in the drum!

                      Dont worry about the thumbprint... paint it rust and call it "Battle damage" !

  • Member since
    July, 2014
Posted by Bakster on Saturday, October 14, 2017 7:42 PM

littletimmy

 

 
Bakster
Bad news bears about locking the keys in the truck!

 

Oh I didn't just lock the key's in........ it was running and I had 10 yard's of concrete spinning around in the drum!

 

Oh man! That could have been a bad day...  Too funny!!!  

 

  • Member since
    July, 2012
  • From: Douglas AZ
Posted by littletimmy on Saturday, October 14, 2017 8:33 PM

Bakster
Oh man! That could have been a bad day...  Too funny!!!  

Many year's ago..... when I was a young man..... I learned some skill's that came in handy on this paticular day.      ( I broke into the passenger door! ) Took me 2 minute's !

Back in high school I could have done it in 30 seconds....... I'm getting old.........

                      Dont worry about the thumbprint... paint it rust and call it "Battle damage" !

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