Girlfriend hopes gone with my hobby

This is to the guy who is worried about his love life. My wife and I just celebrated our 40 anniversery. I was a model builder before we met and I still build today. I was lucky now she builds too. ( she is better than I) Be true too yourself and look out for number one.   the right girl will come along believe me I know.watch out foe the girls who accept you hobby and then try to change you.The way alot of women are now you would be better to stick tou your hobby ,and use your right hand.

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Like everyone else here has said, be happy with yourself, the rest will fall into place, most likely when you arent looking for it.

My first wife despised me building models, she thought of it as wasting money on toys that dont get played with and never understood the hobby or any hobby for that fact. My biggest regret was that I let her dictate what I was going to do and I gave up modeling for almost 15 years.

Fast forward to my current wife, of 10 wonderful years, and she supports my hobby. To be honest, she doesnt really understand everything about it, but she also doesnt tell me not to do it. She understands the importance of having a hobby and she likes the fact that I am not out at the bar with my buddies. Her hobby is learning about wine and wine tasting. After some time I have got to enjoy this as well, definitely not to the extent that she does, but we enjoy traveling out of town for Wine Weekends to new places. My goal is to take her to a model show someplace to show her how intricate some of these kits can get. The day my wife told her friends how cool some of my models were, was a proud day and I realized that, even if she doesnt totally understand the draw to the hobby, she can see that it can be impressive.

So, to the OP of this thread, be patient my friend, she is out there, she just may not know it yet.

I have to say GMorrison, I love your story about finding a woman who appreciated your tanks!

Buckeye

Save yourself lots of trouble and get a good dog.  Besides, dogs are chick magnets.

Plus they don't argue or nag, get upset if you don't rub their feet and won't ask "Another model? Don't you think you have enough?"

Save yourself lots of trouble and get a good dog.  Besides, dogs are chick magnets.

Mike

Pawel made a great point that worked for me too.

I was always really shy, awkward, and depressed when I was a teen. I'm 43 now, for perspective. But, in my twenties I finally just gave up on dating and stopped giving a damn about it. I ignored women and did what I wanted, including models. Those are some of the best years of my life, being single and backpacking alone in the Colorado wilderness, or tucking up in a corner of a coffee shop while working on writing (I'm a free-lance writer). As soon as I stopped worrying about dating, I became so much more free. 

As others have said, it also helps to just casually socialize with women you're not interested in. It helps build confidence. Do it. A lot.

You can't force it. The moment will come when it comes, and it's not up to you how that pans out. Call it fate or God, or whatever. 

I finally met mine when I was having a talk with a buddy, my barber and he said after four marriages that his mistake was to be too grateful that women would even talk to him. I took that away and got centered again. Met and married someone 4 years older than me.

Have you ever met a woman and thought"what a stupid hobby she has?"Sure you have.

Would you say something? Probably not. Then expect to be treated the same way. 

On the flipside, you don't have to listen to some female ask why you spent $8 on new "stickers" when your model already came with some, with her best "you are a complete moron" look on her face.

Nathan T

Eharmony...

 

My wife is very supportive of my hobbies. She goes to conventions with me and when I had a model based business, she was my best employee. I've had other relationships were girls thought it was a childish past time. They all went to the wayside but I've been with my wife for over 25 years.

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Hello!

Once I was riding my car - it was raining and two girls were hitchhiking - I gave 'em a ride, and I was living with one of them for three years... Life can be amazing sometimes...

As for practicing saying hello to girls - some say it's easier to start with the ugly ones - they can be very rewarding! The stupid ones should be avoided, IMO - some guys like women to be stupid, but they tend to be dangerous - I mean they can hurt you just by accident. I personally like strong, smart women.

One thing young people some don't see, some have it naturally - most of the time you have to act like you just don't care. I mean if you take things personally, you're easy to get hurt and women are good in sensing that - and they (mostly) don't want to take care of your fragile feelings - they want you to take care of their feelings! It's like you're young, you care about everything - then life wears you down, you gain experience and things slowly stop bothering you. You can start transmitting a message: I don't care about small things - I can take care about selected few important things, and that just might include you, darling! Most women find this message attractive. Sometimes I even have the impression that the less you care about, the more women like you.

Allright, that would be my humble opinnion here - hope it helps somebody! Good luck and have a nice day

Paweł

Two Words. Thai Massage 

Eharmony...

From what I'm reading, it's not a question of meeting the right one, but the ability to interact with women?

You will have to rid yourself of shyness, it really isn't an attractive quality - I mean has anyone ever heard a woman say 'my god, he is so shy, I'm so turned on!' 

Well maybe there is the odd one out there.  I remember quite a while back being in a exotic bar, and a dancer came and sat with my friend and I.  She noticed I was shy, specially when our knees accidently bumped.  That's when she told my friend (in French, which I really wasn't that fluent in) that she liked shy guys.   I dunno, maybe it's her fetish of some kind, but I didn't pursue further.  Not just because I was very shy back then, but she revealed they also had a bf.  Yeah, really don't want to get invloved with those type of headcases.

Anyhow, to overcome shyness, begin making eye contact with woman you come across, and saying hello.  Once this becomes an easy habit, you can progress to conversations and more.

regards,

Jack

All of my best girl friends were those that I met by chance. Going out specifically looking for girls or going on a blind date never turned out to be nothing more than one night stands. The best ones "just happen" when you are out doing just regular stuff.

Sometimes you just meet someone by accident.  I was lonely through my college years, than in my last year, a nice young lady moved into my apartment building.  We said hello a few times, no big deal, but eventually we became friends and then more.  This year we celebrated our 51th wedding anniversary!  So you never know what fate may have in store for you.  Best wishes!

Hopefully, when you find "the one", she will embrace your hobby as well.  Your hobby is part of who you are.  I'm blessed that my wife likes attending the model events I go to - most are a several hour drive from home and require staying overnight.  Only a few of the other wives or girlfriends show up at these events, and the women enjoy the model event as a social party.  Those of us with wives or girlfriends attending the event are often asked "How did you get the wife/girlfriend to come here?  Can she talk to myy woman?"

The only advice I can give is get out more often rather sitting at home doing a model kit every night. Hang out with friends. Socialize.

If your means of income is commercial model building, perhaps you're not engaging with others as much as you might in a typical job, where you are in daily contact with co-workers. That is a recipe for a secluded lifestyle, for as many hours a day that you do work at it.

Time routinely spent in isolation can breed introspection, self doubt and even depression. Your sense of self worth can easily be damaged, if you allow negative thoughts to be at the head of the line during your daily activities. 

Think outside of the box that you're in, what would you really enjoy doing besides model building? Join a league of folks with a like interest, bowling, pool, darts, hiking, photography, whatever. Get out of the house regularly, make some time for yourself, be with others that have a shared interest, enjoy some time just being with them.

Lastly, perhaps the career path that you're presently on will not afford you the income to support outside activities, like travel, dating,  regular social contacts, whatever might be found outside the environment you have created for yourself at present.

Life has much to offer, it's our responsibility to find what we want. I wish you the best at climbing out of this rut. Like Larry says, Git'r Done!

Patrick

all of the above, but don't sweat it.

I've done a lot of stupids, don't sweat them, learn from them.

But one of the best things you can do for yourself is self-confidence!

self-pity is not an attractive thing in anybody.

IF you think victim, it comes out as desperate, so if you start going to gym/ the mall/ shopping/ theatre group/ church in order to find sombody, you won't.

IF you do any/all of the above because you want to/enjoy it, then that shows as well, but a new body/car/clothes/etc won't make you happy in themselves...

So If you think there is an improvement you want to make for yourself, do it for yourself, no one else!

PS, keep up your hobby, join a hobby club in your neighbourhood, if any, and when you meet someone, if they tolerate/indulge/actively support/take part in your interests, than that's good, but not a deal breaker.

What would be a deal breaker would be if they insist you dump old hobbies & friends. Psycho-nutter territory, there...

My partner of 8 years, tolerates/indulges/actively supports/ & sometimes takes part, in that she has been to shows with me, has won aircraft in the tombola, allows me to coincide holiday trips with history events, re-enactments, military museums, model shop visits, etc.

This works because we have a heap of related shared interests, History, castles, reenactments, etc, and I am attentive to her interests & needs, which allows me to spend brownie points on solo model show jaunts.

And as she says to her friends, Modellers know how to FIX & MAKE things, & I treat her better than any other man she has ever known. so she says I'm a keeper, lol

Dont ever assume that all women think alike; and dont ever assume that all women will look down at your hobby.

Dating, Ive had my share. Ive dated both girls who do think we tinker with toys, and girls who think theyve found a keeper --- a guy who would gladly stay at home than go out on the town with friends.  My wife is one of the latter.  She wasnt the only one who was like that.  What Im saying is that theres are as much women who appreciate the hobby as those who dont.  

So modeling does not mean the end of dating. But one thing I know that gets women's ire, is a guy paying little attention to her and a lot of attention to something else.  So if one were to pay too much attention to (fill in the blank --- modeling, cars, fishing...) then I assure you the relation is going south.

In all things, have a focus and you can't go wrong.

GMorrison

I'll share. In my early twenties I was dating a lady and invited her over for dinner at my apartment. She took one look at the rows of tank models and practically tore my clothes off. It happens...

LMAO!

You know, my wife usually hates my modeling hobby but she actually complimented me for having "good dexterity" today while building about a million 2mm AA guns for my HMS Nelson project.

It took 17 years to get her to say something nice about my plastic toy boats but progress was made!

To the OP, something girls don't want is a sad and depressed man. This is not a modeling problem (nobody is gonna look down on you for having a healthy hobby)... there are bigger issues you need to work on.

well...Im a girl and I build models.

If someone truly cares for you, they will care about your hobbies too. You just have to find the right person. 

One of my closest friends just recently got married, and her husband is a car-guy. She couldnt care less about mopar or tourque, but she loves watching her beau light up about his passion.

Your partner might not understand your love of miniature, nor would they have to be modellers themselves; but the right parner would see your hobby as something that makes you happy. Who wouldnt want to see their loved one happy?

I'll share. In my early twenties I was dating a lady and invited her over for dinner at my apartment. She took one look at the rows of tank models and practically tore my clothes off. It happens.

It's the time investment. If she has a hobby too, sit together. If she wants your attention during the day, model at night.

Or vice versa.