It's been awhile since I posted a stupid story, so, I am overdue.
True Story
Many years ago now I was getting my feet wet as a warehouse worker at my current employer. The economy sucked, (early 80s), and I settled to pull customer orders. Here I am, 40 years later, at the same company. Who'd da thunk. Thankfully, I am not doing the same job I was doing then.
Around that time my cousin finished his tour with the Army and Cuz needed a job. I spoke with the Prez, Cuz applied, Cuz was hired. Little did I know, Cuz, viewed the job as a stepping stone to something perhaps a little more suiting to his talents. Don't ask me what those talents are because I don't think he even knew. Heck, we were still young, and we were still trying to find our feet. Only, in his case, his feet were adorned with clowns shoes.
Well, his first day went pretty normal but within days I began to see trouble brewing. I guess the job didn't entertain him enough because he began fashioning hats out of cardboard parts bins. He found one that fit snugly to his goofy noggin, and in marker he wrote, NIMO across the face of the box where we'd apply stock labels. So, imagine his hat with a flat face, flat sides, and a flat top. Soon after he attached two radial leaded disc capacitors at the top of the box towards the face of it. I suppose they were to represent antenna. When I first saw him doing this I laughed because seriously, what an idiot. I thought the idiot would get his jollies, and then move on. Um, not so. He'd wear that thing all day, everyday. Imagine the looks of people as they came into the warehous. As the days rolled into weeks, the looks turned towards me like, you recommended this guy? Lol. Good thing that I didn't really care. I viewed the job as he did, a stepping stone too, but, in my case, I didn't make a mockery of it like he did.
Soon, it came to my attn that he was sending parts through the pneumatic tube with notes like, Death to this, and death to that. I don't remember exactly what it was he wrote, but it was all pretty infantile. I don't think anyone was threatened, he was just making a mockery of the job. So, the guys waiting for parts at the counter are getting crazy notes sent along with them, and those worksheets are used to write up customer receipts. This is usually done with the customer standing across the counter. Needless to say, they were not happy.
We had another guy start not long after Cuz did. He looked a lot like Jeffery Dahmer, only this guy had a big mop of curly hair. Aside from the hair, he was a spitting image of Dahmer.
This guy was not the brightest buib, but a nice enough guy. Cuz, he had decided to prank the guy. Dahmer was a smoker, and Cuz inserted exploding loads into his cigarettes. Every now and then I'd hear a pop. Soon, Dahmer approached me, "these cigarettes must be defective because they keep exploding." What can I say other than, "Oh? Really?"
Then one day I see it happen. Dahmer is about 10 feet from me, he is sucking on a cig, POP! He looks at me, says, "you see? They keep exploding!" I say, "I don't know man. That is really weird." And yeah, trying not to laugh. He says, "You saw it explode right?" I say, "Oh yeah. It exploded alright. Maybe you better get a new pack."
We had another warehouse worker that was scared of Cuz. I think he thought he was crazy! He didn't know what to think of him. I think Cuz smelled blood in the water because Cuz played on his fears.
Probably a good thing, but Cuz left the company after about 5 weeks. He decided that schooling was in order. Here is the crazy thing. After Cuz resigned, Prez came back to see me and he says, "Steve. If you have any other people like him, be sure to tell me. I am sorry to see him go. I didn't think he would stay here long, not with his qualifications." Dumbfounded, I say, "Ok... I sure will." Clearly, his antics didn't filter up to him.
After Cuz left, there was a palpable sigh of relief within the company. Lol.
So what does Cuz do for a living now? He is an airline mechanic. Think of that the next time you fly somewhere.
PS: Maybe I told this story already. Hard to remember with how long this project is running.