OK, so I had a bit of a "squirrel cop" day today. (See link below.)
This afternoon I headed downstairs to my basement office to get some work down before moving on to finish cleaning the house before my Dad arrives the next day. When I reached the bottom of the stairs I heard a noise coming from my Gundam kit stack. I looked in that direction and saw a gray streak flash by me. My lower brain registered it as a medium sized squirrel. SQUIRREL? I then noticed a misplaced shaft of light and realized he must have gotten through a small space next to the air conditioner duct.
He went right for my office and after running over every surface and leaving his grubby paw prints on everything he tried hiding in the corner behind the storage cabinet. I assessed the situation, formulated a plan and put it into action.
Priority one: Get him out of the office… I tried chasing him back to the main basement area and out to freedom through the windows I had opened for him, but the little freak actually GROWLED at me! "Dude, I’m trying to help you here." Ingrate! After some more cajoling and much rearranging of furniture, that task was completed.
Then it was twenty laps around the workshop and photo setup. NOOOO, he’s in my Gundam kits! Boxes go everywhere… NUTS! I forgot to close the office door. I chase him back out of there and remember the upstairs door is still open too. I run up close door, run back down. Now to figure out where his hiding again. Another ten laps and he’s still not seeing the ramps and ledges I set up for him to get out! What is wrong with this guy!
This was going on for almost an hour. At that point I’m exhausted and covered is sweat. See, part of my action plan was to suite up for protection. I’ve heard that they could carry diseases like rabies and that they "always go for the eyes!" I had put on my work boots and some heavy jeans and tucked jeans into my thick boot socks. I didn’t want it running up my leg. I put on a heavy work shirt and work gloves. I also tucked the shirt in pants and the sleeves into the gloves. And a knit hat for the head. I looked like Bill Cosby’s little brother Russell. Oh, I forgot to mention it was almost 70F degrees out side today.
By now I was really tempted to call the local cops to see if they could connect me to some city agency that actually does this kind of thing for a living, but I kept thinking of the "Squirrel Cop" story and it running under the hot water heater. Just then I heard some noises coming from upstairs. I thought, OH NO, there are more of them in the house! So I run upstairs with the long poking stick in one hand and the wide herding plank in the other (also part of the action plan). But just as I reached the top I realize it’s my Dad, who was just arriving from his drive up from Miami. A day early! He looks at me up and down and says, "Do you have company over?"
For the "Squirrel Cop" story see http://www.thislife.org/pages/descriptions/98/115.html This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard!