6 Bells on the second dog watch, Mr. Simpilot. The Chronometer has been wound. Paula has returned from the head after that really inexplicable incident with the rum, but she's good to go.
The judging begins. Results may vary.
Transcript from the Captains Log, June 27th, 2009.
The Captains mast will come to order, and would someone please pick Ms. Abdul up and prop her in the berth. Stop that, Mr.(muttering, laughter and giggling, the tape breaks here)
Randy: I really like the boxers over the pants, looks like he thought about his bum, wish we had a good back shot. Oh there we go!
Paula: I give him a point for the shirt, my other point for the pants, hat a point and the accessory is nice too, but it might hurt.
Simon: what a swine, the look is very Jimmy Buffett, but I give it three points, and a merit for the LAWS rocket. Paula, I wish I had one now and then.
Listener response: 4 points.
Captain Bondo: And the answer is " three points plus a good effort. That pair of knickers need a closeup for the detail.
Randy: now that helmet is nice, very Kosovo I'd say, but a little bold.
Paula.: what a nice tattoo, and hope there's more I can find elsewhere.
Simon: what a sot! But the legs make a statement, and the facial hair is a welcome addition. As for the shirt, indistinct but the shorts are original.
Captain Bondo: And the answer is " a point for being first, a point for the shirt, a point for the pot, even +/- on the shorts, and get a cigar. Plus a point for the art, total of four.
Listener response: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randy: good god whats that up in that tree? And old to boot. Well an A for effort, and very nice rendition of that old song by Dan Watson "Last possum up a tree". The shirt is on topic for sure, easily the best of the bunch, but the presentation is a little, conservative.
Paula: "Daddy!!"
Simon: I am truly frightened!
Captain Bondo: and the answer is "a solid two, but the best shirt prize."
Listener response: YES SIR!!!
Randy: I really love this, I mean that's a nice looking companion for sure, and they seem so comfortable together.
Paula: I wish I could be held like that.
Simon; well if we were to even consider this, get plastic bags out. I think the performers mother needs to shave his legs next time.
Captain Bondo: and the winner is "Bruno the Datsun" for baring all and fearing none.
First runner up with mass points, Mr. Summit and Mr. SfMac each get a prize.
Thank you Admiral and as presenter of the best shirt, the next competition is yours to choose how and when.
A fine time men, women and animals. The XO and the CAG no doubt are impressed with your spirit.
Yers, Captain Bondoman, USN whatever he can whenever he can.