Yep. This was my first one:
On the way back to his Foxhole, Comrade Sergei is ambushed by an enemy tank battalion. While searching frantically for a weapon to fight back and deal a blow for the motherland with, Comrade Sergei ignores his instinct to run and stupidly lets himself be run over by an enemy tank. Hearing his screams, his comrades rush to his aid. They are able to destroy the tanks because the drivers of said tanks are destracted by the horrendously loud noise of the breaking of Comrade Sergei's abnormally thick skull. Whoopee for Comrade Sergei.
And yet another disjointed adventure:
While riding atop an armored vehicle on his way to the front lines, Comrade Sergei decides to check his compass. Though it has no needle, Comrade Sergei is certain that the vehicle that he is riding is proceeding in the wrong direction. Upon attempting to inform the vehicle commander of this fact, said commander utters a string of profanities in a language that is not known to Comrade Sergei, and pulls out a pistol. Unfazed, Comrade Sergei continues to explain his situation to the vehicle commander. He is rewarded with a glancing shot to his helmet, causing it to fall from Comrade Sergei’s head. Doing what any brave soldier would have done in his place, Comrade Sergei pulls a grenade off of his belt. Taking careful aim, he lobs the grenade at the vehicle commander, who is currently fiddling with his jammed firearm. The vehicle commander is struck in the head by the explosive, and both the grenade and he tumble down into the vehicle. Shortly afterwards, three things occur. First Comrade Sergei realizes that he should disembark from atop the vehicle, for his grenade will soon explode. Secondly, Comrade Sergei realizes the point is moot, as he has forgotten to pull the pin from the grenade. Thirdly, the machine gun atop the vehicle rotates and begins to fire at Comrade Sergei. Whimpering for his mother, Comrade Sergei runs about atop the vehicle one step ahead of the machine gun, which is still attempting to fire at him. Approximately 53.3 meters away, Comrade Yuri and Comrade Alexei hear the commotion and screams of their beloved compatriot and investigate. Upon seeing the hilarious scene, Comrade Yuri chuckles to himself and loads his anti-armor weapon. Comrade Alexei hurls his pack at Comrade Sergei, causing Comrade Sergei to lose his footing and fall off of the armored vehicle just at Yuri fires upon aforementioned vehicle. Whoopee for Comrade Sergei.