Bakster
Thanks for thinking of me. I could always count on you. Mabye talk to you guys some other time.
There are days that try the soul.
Helo crashes and you knew 5 of the 7 aboard.
Drunk driver clobbers a car, and erases 5 of 5 the family you knew so well within.
Of late, fornicating cancer has been stealing away people I care about. Three in a month.
Mind, simply getting to a certain age means being surrounded by death
John Donne was entirely correct in asserting
No man is an island,
Entire of itself;
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less,
As well as if a promontory were:
As well as if a manor of thy friend's
Or of thine own were.
Any man's death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.
Finding relief from sorrow is sore difficult; a weight which can crush all joy.
The "trick" of it is navigating those tricky waters that lead to despair, the death of all hope.
But, I will assert this: All of our hobbies are essentially avocations, the evocative expressions of our individual creativity. Especially those not burdened by necessity and constraint like our employments geerally are
We hobby because we enjoy it, it creates an endorphin release (this is scaled [NPI] to our idealized expectations of our creativity, which is why we toil to extreme to achive those ends--this keeps Pontos in business).
It's entirely likely this level of loss will get "in the way of" modeling at a superior level. But, all to typically, something will be wanted as a mental distraction. It will want simple, and with tangible results (so, don't download Blender [world's worst UI]) but maybe a role playing game, or just a gameboy. Or one of the carious mahjong games for the various devices.
And, one I can personally recommend is Kerbal Space Program. Just do the missions in the game pack. You stack the bits up, press the button, and maybe it launches, maybe it explodes on the pad. Sometimes you want them to explosively reassemble.
Just because we can't see method or purpose to the madness does not mean that there's nothing but madness and purposelessness to it all.
that "No man is an island