SHIP'S LOG: August 9....Whereabouts unknown. As I write.........
WARNIN'! Pi**ed off Ossifer of dubious integrity stalkin' the deck! AARRRRGGGHHHH!
'Tis lonely weavin' about up 'ere. Helmsman drunk and asleep....hands lashed to the spokes of the wheel (who keeps doing that?).
I battened the for'd hatch.....someone open 'er by dawn. The Bo'sun and Mr. Bondoman (the scurvy dogs!)....are asleep, DRUNK! after dippin' their 'eads in barrels of contraband rum! They shall spend a watch in the tops tomorrow, I faith!
Seas be gentle with just a low ground swell.....hardly any puke on the deck. Good sign! Gun deck is tidy. All guns chocked and tied. Oops! a finger! Someone will be missin' this! Pullin' when 'e shoulda been pushin' I suspects! Cannons is heavy!
Fish food now! I'll recognize the poor blighter tomorrow at muster!
August 9th....2300
The ship is deathly quiet. Me spine tingles every few minutes. Could be them Malay pirates about. Sounds of a party or game of whist aft......in the Captain's cabin!!!!
....an' they didn't invite me!
We shall seeeeeeeeeeeeee!