That's hard news, friend. You'll tackle it I'm sure, but my prayers are with you, and may laughter be your best medicine.
I'duh wacked thu friggin' thing off at the shoulder a long time a go for yuh, fer all the trouble itsa cazzed ye' but wouldn't wanna deprive ye o' yer best girlfriend, er, pistol mitt, er salutin' wand.
We sail tumurru, and if'n you've 'ad yer tot, i'm a drinkin' wit ye an' I'll 'old yer head over the transom while ye' feed the whales, cuz I'm that fond 'o 'ye.
CAG we've a sick un what needs ta be administered to on the gratin's. May have to bind 'is wrist (s) and legs while Dr. Blood draws a dram, but Navy medicine is good medicine, ev'n if it causes you to wain.
Set the sails, clear the decks.
First mate sfmac I'll kill you with a single shot if you can't have the men on deck, and them wimmen you've got in the Rum locker, present in their glory for inspection by nightfall Friday.
XO is ashore, LtCmr Nam is a lee, and the CAG is politicin' for admiral as usual.
Capn Roy Rogers needs to make a showin', an if none o' them worthies makes a show, it'll be ME, senior officer of the deck, and that'll be fun because they'rl be some GAMES!!
Lt Cmr Bondoman, Officer of the moment.
Where's Roger when we need a gunner?